Sweetest Little Show - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 43 - The Smell of Perfume

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PAUL

I stared at the TV in front of me, listening to the news reports and stuff I didn't want to hear. Everywhere I went all I heard was this tragedy, and I didn't know how much longer it would last.

Jackie's perfume was on the coffee table, so I took it, and sprayed it onto the pillow just so I could smell the scent. I brought the pillow to my nose and inhaled deeply, before bursting into tears.

"Ladies and gentleman, tonight we have received the unfortunate news that the young star, Jackie Alison, has died in a car accident," they announced.

All the lights in my house were off and I didn't let anyone visit. When she died, so did I. Everything felt empty and every time I saw, heard or even thought of her, everything got so cold it became numb.

When I saw the photo of her put up in the screen I started shaking as I tried to hold everything back, but I couldn't help but start sobbing uncontrollably again. I already missed her so badly.

You couldn't even pretend it was anything like a breakup. When we broke up, there was always the chance that we'd walk into each others' lives again, but this time, I knew for sure she wouldn't walk through that door and tell me she loved me.

"She was very much loved by fans around the world. She had a very quick rise to fame and had hit a peak with her recent television series. Jackie was also engaged to marry Beatles member, Paul McCartney, who we could not get any comment from. She was only 21."

I looked at the engagement ring that I had put back in the box to keep it safe. The lid was open and I just stared at it for ages. The news report was over by the time I looked up. She wouldn't even be here to tell me I was being cheesy or whatever. I wanted her back so badly, even if it were just to tease me.

They played back the interview where we were together announcing our engagement. Hearing her voice again felt like heaven, but at the same time, it was hell. When she spoke I realised that she would never tell me she loves me again. We would never have those fun little talks again.

She looked so happy then, like everything was finally coming together, and it was. We had each other, her career was going off, we had our plans for the future, our lives were perfect.

When she talked about her love for me, I felt like I was being stabbed over and over again with each word.

"Oh it's lovely, he's a real sweetheart to me and is the kindest man I know. He's helped me in so many ways, and I'm proud to call him my fiancé. He sure does give me some headaches every now and then, but I love him so much, and that's what really matters at the end of the day. Can't imagine a life without him anymore."

The last sentence hurt me the most, because now I'm the one who has to actually live a life without my Jackie. Why did I have to have the two people I loved the most taken away from me? First my mother, now Jackie. Who's next, John?

I was so sure I wasn't gonna ever meet another woman that I love as much as Jackie. There's no one in the world that's like her, and no one could ever replace her. My demons were telling me I would live a lonely life with no one to love. I would grow up sad with no wife to lie down next to every night and no family of my own to raise. I would live in misery with the pain there to haunt me everyday.

I grabbed a pillow and chucked it into the wall, screaming at the voices in my head that were taking over. All I did was weep, and that was all I had done since I got the news.

"This wasn't supposed to end like this," I sobbed, pushing my hair back. "Fuck! This wasn't how it was meant to be!"

This wasn't at all fair. She had suffered through so much pain and went through too much to go because of a bloody drunk truck driver. She was finally happy, but her happiness was cut too short.

All I wanted to do was help her get better and be happy. I wanted to take away the pain of the past and bring her the joy of the present, but now I was left with that pain, that misery. The world didn't have to tease me and give her back to me just to take her away for good.

I couldn't stop thinking about all that time we could've spent together. There's was so much lost and wasted time that I could've had loving her instead of being such a fuck up. Nothing felt worse than the realisation that the pain I caused her meant I didn't get to be with her so much.

The phone had rung for the 10th time that day. Everyone had tried to contact me, and at first I tried to talk, but after a while, it was much too hard. I didn't want to even utter and word about her. It had been days since I had even let myself say her name.

Her voice rang through the room as an episode played with her being very prominent in it. I remembered following this series as it was released, each week loyally watching it without failure. It was what made me get off my arse and actually go ahead and try to get her back.

Just the sight of her smiling and laughing like that had put me in a trance. Her witty lines and the amazing delivery she had reminded me of the fun times. All the dates we had or the time we would just sit together and talk for ages flashed quickly through my head. For a moment, I had forgotten the pain before I remembered she was gone.

She looked beautiful. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing a dress that hugged her magnificently. Her smile was sincere, and I could tell by the way her eyes looked. They squinted, but it wasn't in an awkward way. It was cute and complimented the wide grin she would have.

The pillow that I didn't throw still smelled of her perfume. I grabbed it again and held it closely, hugging it tight as if it were her. When I closed my eyes and heard her voice, I was almost convinced it was. I swear I had felt arms wrap around me and I don't care if it meant something or my mind was just playing a trick.

I didn't want to open my eyes, because then it would all be over. The feeling of her really being there became more real and real, and it was almost like it started breathing. Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I weeped, crying into the pillow. I missed her so badly.

Because I didn't want to open my eyes, I just laid back, resting my head and deciding to fall asleep, hoping I would dream of her.

I just hoped I wouldn't dream of that burning cage again.

THE END

**

Alright, so that is the end of this story. Not an ideal ending, I know, and as much as I wanted to give a good ending, I was sick of writing cutesy cheesy endings where they all live happily ever after and all that stuff. Not only that, but I feel like that was where the story was headed from the start even if I didn't realise it.

Thank you all so much for reading the story. It's amazing to know people wanna read your work, and whenever you guys comment or vote it makes me day so much.

I have another project coming up.

And here is where I announce the sequel to this story, called Thank You Darling. We meet new characters and see what Paul is like after this story. I hope to see some familiar faces and can't wait to share it with you. The first chapter will be up by now!

A final thank you to everyone who has read this story, you have all brought a smile to my face.