Sweetest Little Show - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 41 - Love

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Two whole weeks since I had met Paul again, and I was realising something that scared me. It was frightening, yet at the same time, I wanted to experience it.

I love him.

At first I had been hesitant to accept this, plus I was was still curious to find out why my dad seemed to not like him so much, but then my dad started showing signs of warming up to Paul. After that, I had no excuses left. I could only ask myself if I was going in too quick, but I somehow knew I wasn't.

There was a time I don't remember that I had accepted all of this. I'm the same person so I didn't understand why I was so scared. I kept telling myself that he couldn't be a bad man if I had been with him at some point.

He was at his house just to get some stuff sorted, so I'd decided I'd tell him there, away from any distractions. On my way there, a Beatles song came on and Paul happened to be singing on it. I took it as if it were some sort of sign telling me that this was right and how it was meant to be.

I pulled up in the driveway, starting to feel more confident I walked up to the door. My feelings were too strong to deny for any longer. It had been there since the start, I just had to let it happen.

He let me in and I took a look at his house. It was very cosy and homey, I felt I could really get used to being there. "What brings you here, love?" Paul asked.

"I have something to tell you," I said. "It's very important. It's regarding us, our relationship, all that stuff."

He smiled for a second before it dropped slightly as if he realised something. "You know, I wanna tell you something too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It's important I tell you this, even though I don't want to and I'm scared to. I don't know how you'll react."

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked.

"Yeah, come on in, we'll chat on the couch," Paul said.

We walked into his living room, and I was suddenly growing more and more anxious by the second. It seemed serious, and not in a good way. It was starting to make me second guess what I was feeling beforehand, but I didn't want to think like that, so I tried to push those thoughts away.

He didn't look at me for a reason I was unsure of at the moment. Every time he did, he looked away nervously and just stared off into the distance. Something in my gut was telling me it was bad, really, really bad.

"Jackie, you know how I feel about you, yes?" Paul asked.

I nodded. "Of course."

"So you must understand that what I did was a very long time ago. I-I think you forgave me for it, but I don't know," Paul said.

"What did you do?" I asked, unsure if I wanted to actually know.

He paused, some sort of guilt starting to cloud his face. He looked down and was trying to hold back the frown that tugged at his lips. "When I tell you this, it's not because I want to hurt you to anything, but I don't want you to think I was lying to you. I don't want you to think that I used this whole memory loss thing as a way to take advantage of you and your feelings, because I would never do that. I love you and I don't want to hurt you. Understand that what I'm about to tell you was done when I was a different man. I've changed from this and-"

"What was it? Just tell me, Paul."

He looked up, his face looking like he was about to breakdown. The next few words were about to tell me just why. "Before you had lost your memory, we had just started to recover from a fight. It was because I... because I-I cheated on you, Jackie."