To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Eight

It was five in the morning when Felix was woken up by a weird feeling running through his whole body. He had been back in Australia for two days, having spent the day before face-timing Jisung, who had excitedly showed him the beautiful rose on his hip bone, Hyunjin's mark finally having a match. Jisung had told him that his mark appeared out of nowhere while he was having lunch with the others, that it hurt a bit but the feeling was exactly the same as having a normal tattoo done.

Felix didn't dare to move.

At first, still dizzy because of sleep, he started to panic because he couldn't understand what was going on. Then he realised it was indeed his birthday and that was probably his soulmate mark finally appearing on his skin. He didn't know if freaking out was the right reaction but that was all he could do.

No more than five minutes passed and the feeling went away as if nothing had happened. Felix threw his blankets off of himself and in a matter of seconds, he took off his sweatshirt standing in front of the mirror. He felt his eyes starting to water at the sight in front of him. Right on his collarbone, a series of stars was tattooed, one following the other in a pattern that could be nothing else than a constellation that he didn't recognise.

Felix caressed the mark, the skin there still feeling a bit numb but Felix guessed that was normal after getting a tattoo done. He had always been fascinated with stars. When he was little, he used to read books about stars being the muses of brave men or guides to those who were lost. He wondered if he and his soulmate were meant to be each other's guides too. 

Quickly unplugging his phone from the charger, Felix dialled Changbin's number which he knew by heart. A second later, he decided to opt for a video call instead since he couldn't wait to show him the mark he now had. He waited for a couple of minutes, feeling slightly guilty for waking up Changbin so early in the morning.

"Felix, it's too early for this. What do you want?" Changbin mumbled, his eyes still shut as he held his phone at a weird angle above his head. Felix would have felt offended if he didn't know the older took at least some minutes to understand where he was when he woke up. "Felix, my god, put a shirt on what's up with—" Changbin complained again once his eyes finally opened before they focused and he suddenly jumped up, now sitting on the bed. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"I just got it now," Felix said, smiling as brightly as the sun. "I woke up because it was tingling and when I looked in the mirror there it was," he explained, his hand unconsciously coming to rest on the mark as if he was trying to protect it.

"Did it hurt? How do you feel? Are you happy?" Changbin shot question after question, his voice sounding as excited as Felix's was. He couldn't help but laugh at how his best friend shared his feelings even if it wasn't even about him.

"It hurt a bit but I guess that's pretty normal," he started and Changbin hummed, confirming his words. "I'm– I'm really happy. Hyung, I've got a soulmate, can you believe it?" he exclaimed, flopping down on his bed, a dreamy sigh leaving his mouth. By doing so, his hand was now not covering his mark anymore and he watched worriedly as Changbin's eyes went wide open.

"Lix, Felix, is that– is that a constellation?" Changbin asked, getting closer to the screen as if he could see it better. Felix's excitement was soon replaced by fear at his best friend's reaction. He nodded, unable to say anything.

"I can't believe it," Changbin exclaimed, his laugh sounding loudly through the phone. Felix felt a bit better knowing Changbin wasn't worried but rather excited. "This is awesome, oh my god, I can't believe it," he kept saying, still not explaining anything to Felix.

"Hyung?" Felix tried to call for his attention, Changbin snapping out of his thoughts as if he had remembered only then that Felix was still there.

"Lix– Lix, I think I've seen that mark before. I might know who your soulmate is," Changbin announced as if it didn't make Felix jump on his feet, being a mess of confusion, excitement and fear. He stuttered some incoherent sounds, trying to come over the shock.

"W-who? How? Hyung—" Felix stuttered. "Hyung, who are they?" Felix asked, his heart so, so warm at the idea of already having a name to associate with the mark.

"I'm sorry, Lix, I need to make sure I got it right before I tell you anything," Changbin apologized, calming down a bit, his excitement becoming more serious. "I swear I'm telling you as soon as I've got the confirmation," he reassured, a small smile making his way on his lips because of something Felix didn't know yet.

Felix heard another voice mumbling something through the phone and he soon recognised Minho's voice. He heard the boy ask Changbin what time it was and Changbin quickly explaining that Felix had just got his tattoo and they were now facetiming. Minho's face suddenly appeared on the screen as well, smiling tiredly at Felix who greeted him.

When Minho's eyes focused on his mark, his reaction was similar to Changbin's.

"Stars? Isn't that—" he started but Changbin soon cut him off, not wanting him to say anything before being sure of his words.

"Lix, I'm going to call you back as soon as I can, okay? Oh my god, this is gonna be epic," Changbin exclaimed and without even waiting for Felix to say something else, he ended the call, the room now silent and dark.

So, not only did Changbin know who his soulmate was but so did Minho. When he realised there was no way he was going back to sleep after that conversation, he got up again, staring at his mark in the mirror. Felix could easily understand that the stars there weren't just casually placed. It must have been some sort of particular constellation he ignored the name of. He decided to sit down in front of his laptop and try to search for some more information. 

It wasn't easy to find something on the web since Felix didn't know how to search for the constellation when he didn't know anything that could help him out. The mark on his skin was pretty simple but beautiful at the same time. The stars tattooed there weren't that many but it was easy to see the three bigger ones, being placed one after the other in a vertical line, creating almost a straight segment. The stars around them were just a little smaller but not any less beautiful. When he was just about to give up, not finding anything even remotely similar to his mark, he gave a last try, searching for all the constellations made of three stars in a vertical line.

It wasn't that much later that he finally found it, the constellation in the picture representing exactly the one Felix had tattooed on his collarbone. Apparently, the constellation was called Pyxis and had been named by a French astronomer in the 18th century. The constellation represented a compass used by navigators and seamen while sailing the oceans. 

Felix's heart warmed at what that new-found information meant. His soulmate and he were supposed to be each other's compasses, guiding each other through difficulties until the day they were meant to find their way to one another, someday, somehow. Felix could feel his eyes watering up again at the idea of having something like that in his future.

He was snapped out of the daze he had fallen in when his phone lit up with a message from Changbin.

Binnie-hyung

can you send me a pic of your mark?

i swear i'm gonna explain it later pls

Felix frowned a bit through the tears that were still threatening to fall from his eyes but snapped the picture anyway, sending it to his hyung. He couldn't avoid being a slightly bit hurt that Changbin was hiding something so important from him, but he also understood how Changbin didn't want to rush things when he still wasn't sure. For now, he settled with trusting the older, knowing there was no way he would do something to hurt him.

Ever since he was a kid, Felix had always been slightly afraid of the idea of soulmates, knowing what had happened to his mother when she met hers. Felix had wanted to believe that he had someone out there who was looking for him just as much as he was looking for them, but he had never been able to silence that voice telling him he was going to end up as his mother did. 

Now, with his mark freshly tattooed on his own skin and the meaning of that beautiful constellation carved into his heart, he couldn't stop the relieved tears from falling on his cheeks at the idea of finally having a match somewhere in the world.