To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Twenty-Three

That "later" arrived and after a text from Chan and a long, long conversation with his mum, Felix had convinced her to talk to the older. If she still was against the idea of Felix moving, then there was nothing else they could do but at least they could be sure to have tried their best. Despite the obvious reason for the call, Chan was still someone Felix wanted his mother to meet.

They were currently sitting at the kitchen counter, with Felix's laptop in front of them and his mother staring at it like she wanted to make it blow up. The ringtone echoed in the room and Felix was quick to answer it while his mother seemed to tense up even more. Chan was no better and, even though the image was pixelated, Felix could still see how tense his shoulders were.

"Hey, Chris," Felix greeted, breaking the silence, noticing how his own voice sounded more nervous than he had thought.

"Hey, Lix," Chan said back, not sure if he should say something to Felix's mum too or not. Luckily, Felix saved him from the embarrassment.

"Mum, this is Chan -or Chris, whatever you prefer. Chris, this is my mother," Felix introduced the two as he gently squeezed his mom's hand resting on her knee.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms Lee," Chan politely said, trying to break the ice since the woman seemed to be silent.

"It's a pleasure indeed," Felix's mother finally said and Felix seemed relieved at how genuine her words actually sounded.

"So," Felix cleared his throat awkwardly, "I'm going to leave you two alone." Felix got up from the chair, leaning in just to address Chan one last time. "I'm going to call you again later if that's okay," he said, clearly planning to talk to Chan about the conversation he was not going to be part of.

"Of course," Chan answered in a heartbeat, smiling softly at the other. Before Felix could fully pull away from the screen, already turning to his mother, Chan saw something around Felix's neck, recognising what it was when he focused on the pendant resting on his chest. "The necklace...it worked!" Chan exclaimed, warmth and hope sparkling in his heart at the familiar sight.

Felix blinked up at him, now realising what he meant. "It did," he confirmed smiling brightly, "I woke up this morning and I had it with me."

Knowing that it was a conversation that could wait, they both silently agreed to talk about it later as Felix's mother kept moving his eyes from staring at the necklace and then at Chan.

"Behave," Felix whispered to his mother like she was a child before dropping a kiss on her cheek and making his way out of the frame, probably out of the room altogether.

Before either Chan or the woman could start talking, Chan's phone vibrated with a text, a short good luck <3 that made him smile despite the tense situation.

"Felix talks about you a lot," Ms Lee started, watching the screen carefully as to imprint Chan in her mind. Despite how cold she sounded, Chan was relieved she was the one to talk first.

"He talks about you a lot, too," Chan answered without thinking. He almost facepalmed at how dumb his words sounded, "you're his mom, of course, he talks about you."

That made the corners of the woman's mouth pull up a little, realising how nervous Chan actually was to be face to face with her.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like the idea of you coming into Felix's life and, all of a sudden, making him move to the other side of the world," the woman started straightforwardly, not beating around the bush.

As much as Chan had promised himself to keep calm and to never act disrespectfully in any way, he was there to make sure that the woman knew both parts of the story and the words she had used sounded extremely wrong to his ears.

"With all due respect, I don't think Felix was the one who said I am making him do things he isn't okay with. He's free to decide for himself, I would never force him into anything he isn't comfortable with," Chan felt the need to specify, knowing that his choice of words wasn't exactly a great start since they didn't sound as polite as he had hoped for.

For a fraction of a second, Felix's mother looked pleasantly surprised before her expression turned apathetic again. Chan found comfort in that single second that she had not been able to control her feelings.

"You're right, Felix has never used those words himself," the woman confirmed easily, clearly letting Chan understand that she was testing him and at least for now, he had passed.

"I'm sure that, at this point, Felix has told you about his father. What he did to me, what he did to us," Ms Lee said and Chan knew she wasn't joking around with pointless tests anymore.

"He has," Chan confirmed, not knowing what else to say.

"My son loves you, you know? I can see it in the way he talks about you, in the way he looks at you even through a screen," the woman revealed. It was something that Chan had had in the back of his mind for a really long time, those three words threatening to leave his lips so often when he was around Felix.

"And I can see the same things in you too," Felix's mother continued, unreadable emotions flashing in her eyes. Chan thought he could recognise nostalgia mixed with fear.

"I do. I love him," Chan confessed and, even though he had never said those words out loud, it sounded like there wasn't anything he was more sure of. "Not because he is my soulmate. I love him for the person he is and for the person I am when I'm with him," he continued, clearing up every doubt the woman could have about the nature of their relationship.

If Felix's mum was doubtful about their future together, there was no word he could say to reassure her. But one thing he wanted to make sure of was that she knew how deeply in love he was with her son and how he cherished every single second they got to spend together.

That was something he didn't allow doubts about.

"When I met my children's father, we were deeply in love too but we all know how things turned out. Felix is ready to leave his family, his friends and his education to be with you. You have to understand that I'm worried for him, for you too," Ms Lee finally laid out all the cards, revealing to Chan all her insecurities using the tone of a mother, worried for her children.

Chan was left speechless.

He had never thought about the fact that the woman was not only worried about her son but about his sake, too. If things between them didn't work out, just as Felix's mother was so scared of, it wasn't going to hurt Felix only but Chan as well. The boy felt a rush of tears to his eyes, thinking about how he had blamed the woman for so long while she was just looking after them both.

"Ms Lee, I can't promise you that Felix will have his happy ever after, that our relationship will last forever or that we will never hurt each other emotionally," Chan started, keeping his tone gentle and reassuring. "What I can promise you is something I promised Felix a long time ago. As long as he will let me stay by his side, I will never leave, whether it is as a friend or a lover," Chan promised for the second time, his determined tone contrasting the tears that were slowly falling down his eyes.

It was his only chance to make the woman understand how deeply he cared for Felix and how much he just wanted to know that the boy was happy, with or without him.

Ms Lee's expression had long lost its coldness to leave space to a motherly smile at the sight of Chan in front of her. "You're a good guy, Chan. I'm glad Felix has you," she said and to Chan, it sounded like the best melody in the world.

"I'm glad to have him too," he whispered, still loud enough to be heard over the call. It felt like they had reached a mutual understanding as Chan didn't dare to push for a straightforward answer.

Ms Lee smiled softly at him, feeling reassured by the outcome of the conversation they had. "I need to thank you for making the effort to talk to me yourself, it means a lot. I will think about it now that I know better how things are," the woman said and, even though it wasn't a confirmation, it still left Chan feeling has hopeful as he had ever been.

"Of course, I understand," he agreed and a few minutes later the screen went dark.

Now all he had to do was wait.