To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Nineteen

It took Chan around two days to understand how much he had fucked up and one week of unanswered texts and calls going straight to voicemail to understand that Felix wasn't joking when he said he didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Every single word he had told him that day was purely driven by anger and sadness and only now he had fully realised how he had used Felix's weakness against him, mentioning his father just to be the winner of that useless argument that had just led him to lose Felix.

As much as he was scared that Felix was really going to drop off the face of the Earth and never acknowledge him again, he still constantly reminded himself that their souls were still going to meet each other at night and there was nothing Felix could do to avoid that. It was true that it had been over ten days since their argument and there hadn't been any shared dreams meanwhile but, as Jisung had told him all those months ago, soulmates didn't have rules and no one could control how often those dreams happened.

He was sure of it until three weeks went by and, every night, he fell asleep ready to face Felix, just to wake up the next morning, feeling a weight growing heavier on his chest. The heartbreak was so painful that he couldn't bring himself to leave his bed, the days moulding together as he couldn't even understand when it was morning and when it was nighttime.

His friends were worried for him but he brushed them off, never mentioning anything about the argument he had with Felix and how he had the feeling this was really going to be the end of them. Felix kept ignoring him and their souls stopped meeting during the night, making it impossible for Chan to have any kind of hope for their future together.

The chance of making things better came in the form of Changbin bursting through his door in the middle of the day –or was it night?– shooting daggers at Chan through his eyes.

"What the fuck happened between you and Felix?" the younger asked straight away, finding it difficult to be gentle with the person who had hurt his best friend.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chan said, rolling on his other side. He had tried to sound nonchalant as if he really didn't know anything but his voice had cracked at the mention of his soulmate's name. God, he missed him so much.

"Do you want me to start by asking why you've been locked in here for the past three weeks?" Changbin asked, "or would you like to explain to me why the fuck Felix is asking me to warn him when you take a nap during the day so he can make sure not to fall asleep too?"

That came as a shock to Chan who finally realised why he hadn't been able to meet Felix in his dreams anymore. Somehow, Felix had avoided going to sleep when Chan did, probably sleeping during the day instead of at night when he knew Chan was going to doze off.

He apparently stayed silent for too long because Changbin kept going. "I'd like to know why my own best friend is ignoring me if not to ask about your sleeping schedule and why the fuck he is sleeping his days away and staying awake during the night," Changbin pushed, clearly angry at Chan for having done something to his best friend even if he still didn't know what.

"Why not asking him?" Chan mumbled, knowing all too well that Changbin was probably going to punch him right on the nose if he were to actually tell him what he had said and done to the younger.

"Oh, because I did. And you know what he said?" Changbin questioned mockingly. "He said that he won't sleep when he knows you are," he answered his own question, "and when I asked him why, he simply said it's how things are now."

Changbin took a step closer to Chan, before walking to the window instead and opening the curtains to let the warm sunlight wash away the darkness of the room. Chan didn't like the change as his eyes hadn't seen the sunlight in around three weeks but he knew better than to make Changbin angrier.