To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Twenty-One

Slowly but surely, things between Chan and Felix started to get better.

Neither of them could forget what had happened but both were willing to take a step forward and set that as an example of how things should never be between them.

Their texts and calls had become a regular occurrence again as they feel back into that routine they both knew so well. Felix had also made sure to apologize to Changbin for ignoring him when he wasn't even supposed to be involved in the mess whatsoever. As much as Chan pretended not to notice it at first, he soon realised that the dreams they shared had started to become rarer as time passed by, the two meeting once every two weeks if they were lucky.

Chan had thought of different reasons behind that but he couldn't erase from his mind the words Jisung had used all those months ago when he had explained to him that soulmates didn't have rules. Jisung had said that it was all about fate and Chan had had a bad feeling ever since he fully understood what that meant. Before sharing his thoughts with Felix, he decided to talk to Jisung once again since the boy seemed to know more about soulmates than either he or Felix ever will.

Once he had his confirmation, he finally decided to break the news out to Felix, hoping that the younger had noticed that something was weird too. A week later, when their souls were lucky to meet during the night after almost ten whole days of not seeing each other, Chan carefully introduced the topic.

"Have you been sleeping well lately?" Chan asked, looking up to the boy who was holding him.

Chan had his chin pinned on Felix's chest as the younger had wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Their intertwined fingers played together on the mattress.

"I have. I actually wanted to ask you the same question," Felix replied and Chan understood that the younger was confused about their not-as-frequent meetings too but, unlike Chan, he didn't have anyone to share his worries with besides him.

"So you have noticed that we don't meet as often anymore?" Chan asked just for clarification, wanting to be sure that the younger was okay with the topic before saying anything more.

"I have, but it's exam season for you so I thought that you were just staying awake more at night to have more time to study," Felix explained, as his eyes locked with Chan's. "That's not it, right?"

Felix could see nervousness and sadness written all over Chan's face and he paid more attention to the conversation as he understood that it wasn't just a matter of not sleeping well.

Something else was going on and apparently Chan knew about it.

"It's not," Chan agreed. "When I started noticing it, I was afraid something was going on because of what happened the last time we didn't meet here for so long. Then, when nothing seemed wrong between us, I came up with a theory but I wanted to make sure of it before talking to you," he warned the boy who was carefully listening to him.

"What is it?" Felix asked sitting up, making Chan move from his chest as well. Chan could feel the tension radiate from Felix's body so, as he moved to get in a more comfortable position, he took Felix's hand back in his, rubbing soft circle on it with his thumb.

"I talked to Jisung and, apparently, these meetings happen because we are soulmates forced apart. But they are not forever, they are just some sort of reminder that fate wants us together but won't do all the work," Chan explained, knowing that, for someone who knew so little about soulmates as both he and Felix did, it wasn't an easy concept to grasp.

"So does this mean that these dreams will become rarer as time passes by until they stop altogether? Until we are physically close again, we won't meet each other in this way?" Felix asked, even though he could get the answer himself just by looking at Chan's sad expression.

The atmosphere in the room had become tenser, both of them knowing what the announcement meant for them. If they hadn't found a way to be physically close again, then they would have to live their lives like any normal couple forced apart by distance, relying on texts and phone calls as the only way to be in contact.

"I'm afraid so," Chan said quietly, rubbing on Felix's knee with his other hand to try comforting him in the slightest. Tears were starting to collect in Felix's eyes and Chan hated how he was the reason why Felix had been crying so much lately. "But it's okay, we still get to call. We just need to get used to not having this anymore," Chan reassured, the hand tightly holding Felix's moving between them.

They had been very lucky to have those months to spend together during the night, making them feel like they still had something to hold on to despite everything. Now that it was time to part ways and keep living their lives as they did before, it felt like a piece of them was ripped apart from their beings.

Felix nodded pitifully, as a mix of emotions flashed in his eyes. He pulled Chan closer until they were hugging again, now fully aware that this wasn't going to happen as often as they were used to.

Seconds later, all too soon for Felix's liking, Chan pulled away. He silently stood up from the bed to make his way to one of the drawers located beside his desk.