To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Twenty-Two

"I want to give you something," Chan started with his back still turned to Felix. "I don't know if this is going to work but I want to try since we don't know when we'll to see each other again," he said, his shoulders tense and his tone bitter at the words coming out of his mouth.

He didn't want to make Felix think that he was pressuring him in any way since the chance of them being together was something they both had hoped for but had turned out into a huge disaster.

The words Chan used were nothing but the sad truth.

Chan turned around and walked towards where he had been just minutes before and set down on the bed again. This time he was holding something in his hands and Felix moved from his position too so he could look him in the eyes.

"On September 2nd, exactly three months ago, we made pancakes together and I realised you were my soulmate. It still took us a bit more to get to where we are now but that was the day that changed everything for me," Chan confessed, his voice wavering with the intensity of the emotions he felt for the boy in front of him.

When that day he had felt that warmth on his mark and realised that Felix was meant to be his other half, all those doubts about his future and those three years of waiting started to feel like nothing. Even though their relationship wasn't as easy as the one between Minho and Changbin or between Hyunjin and Jisung, Chan still felt like meeting Felix was the best thing that could have ever happened to him and he had never forgotten the happiness he felt that day.

Felix was blinking quickly as he stared at him as he tried to hide his tears by quickly drying them on the sleeve of his shirt. Chan could feel his own tears forming and, with shaky hands, he gently gave Felix the little box he was holding.

"Besides, I like to think of that day as our first unofficial date," Chan joked, even though tears were still rolling down both his and Felix's cheeks. The younger chuckled at that, not believing that after all this time, Chan still remembered about that day so clearly.

Felix opened up the small velvet box in his hands, letting out a choked sob at the sight of what was inside. There, laid a simple necklace, the beautiful pendant shaped like a sun staring up at him.

"The first time we met, when we went outside of the airport, the sun was shining on you and the first thing I noticed were your freckles. They reminded me so much about our mark that I stayed frozen there until Jisung elbowed me in the ribs," Chan said chuckling at the fond memory. "And the same thing happened three months ago when you came over for breakfast. As soon as the sun shined on your freckles, my mark heated up and that was when I realised what it meant," he continued, Felix never averting his eyes from the necklace he was holding, despite his tears falling down on the bed.

"You're my sunshine, Lix. You were even before either of us realised it. I just want you to be happy, whatever happens, and I will always be thankful to have such an amazing person by my side. I don't know if when we'll wake up the necklace will be with you or not but I really wanted to say this now that we're still together," Chan finished, quickly blinking away the tears in his eyes.

Felix threw himself in Chan's arms, careful to put down the box before doing so. No word could express both how happy he was in that moment and how sad he was at the feeling that this chapter of their relationship was coming to an end. Felix buried his head against Chan's neck, inhaling the comforting and familiar scent to impress it in his mind. With the additional weight, Chan had fallen backwards until he was lying in the middle of the bed with Felix on top of him.

Chan didn't waste a second to wrap his arms tightly around Felix's waist, enjoying the closeness of their bodies before it was too late.

"I haven't given up yet," Felix suddenly said, confidence dripping from his voice, "I'm still trying to convince my mother to let me come here."

The determination in Felix's voice made Chan's chest rise with hope. As much as the topic wasn't too common between them because of what happened last time, Chan had always had this doubt in his mind, not really understanding if Felix had given up on it for the time being or if he was still trying. Felix's words had unconsciously made a weight rise from his chest and he couldn't help but hug him even tighter.

"I'm still convinced that if she could only get to know you, she would be more comfortable with the idea," Felix shared his opinion, as he rubbed his nose on Chan's neck one last time before pulling away. Felix set down, taking the box in his hands again, spacing out as he caressed the pendant.

An idea suddenly struck Chan's mind like a bolt of lightning and the hope in his chest grew just that tiny bit. "She could," he answered, nervous but determined.

"What?" Felix asked, too focused on the necklace to pay attention to the words.

"She could. Meet me, I mean," Chan specified as he saw realisation dawn on Felix. "Do you think it could be any help if I talked to her myself?" he asked, smiling genuinely for what felt like the first time in days.

Felix blinked, slowly assimilating Chan's question. "You would really do that?" he asked, his voice small and full of surprise.

Chan chuckled at the sound of it, nodding eagerly. "Lix, if there's anything I can do to help, I would do it in a heartbeat. Now that I think about it, I honestly don't know why we didn't do it before," he shook his head, both because he was actually surprised he had thought of that only now and also because Felix was really asking him if he would do that, as if Chan's first priority wasn't making him happy.

Felix leaned forward, cupping Chan's face in his hands and bringing their lips together in a kiss that said more than any of his words could. Chan could read them all through it and he didn't mind Felix not verbally responding at all.

"Put this on me," Felix said once they pulled apart in order to catch their breaths. He handed the small box to Chan again, until the older understood what he was referring to and motioned for him to turn around.

When Felix's back was facing him, he put the necklace around Felix's neck and quickly secured it until the pendant rested prettily on Felix's chest. Once he did, Chan leant his head on Felix's shoulder who still turned away from him and left a peck on the younger's shoulder, making him melt against his chest.

"If your mother is okay with it, video call me later today. I'll do my best to assure her that I only want to know you're doing what makes you happy," Chan whispered in his ear, resting his arms around Felix's waist from behind.

Felix shivered at both the feeling of Chan's breath against his sensitive neck and the force of his words. Chan sounded so sincere and sure of what he was saying that Felix couldn't resist turning his body around just to let their lips meet once again.

The kiss shared between them all those things they wanted to make sure the other knew before they were forced apart, fate helping them until a certain point but leaving them to do the work from that moment on.

The feeling they had started to dread slowly made their skin tingle. Chan blinked repeatedly, yawning as soon as their lips pulled apart, while Felix felt that familiar pull on his arm trying to drag his soul back to his body. They both knew what that meant and they both shared one last meaningful glance and a whispered later before their bodies drifted apart.

Felix's hand shoot up the moment he realised where he was, blinking the sleep away from his eyes as they focused on the furniture in his own bedroom, back in Australia. When he didn't feel any weight resting on his chest, his hand desperately trying to find the necklace Chan had given him, he started to tear up.

It didn't work.

As he moved to bury his face in his hands, he realised that his left hand was tightly clenching around something cold. He shakily opened his hand to reveal that same necklace he had around his neck, now in his palm, the pendant staring up at him as Chan's words echoed in his mind.

You're my sunshine, Lix. You were even before either of us realised it.

Felix wondered if the hope bubbling in his chest was meant to give him strength or destroy him altogether.