Kitty Greene is the wife of American Revolution General Greene and future co-inventor of the Cotton Gin. She is part of a fictional meeting of Revolutionary women from the play "A Hysterical History of the American Revolution."
KITTY
Thank you for inviting me to be part of this momentous meeting of the women of the American Revolution. Oh, this is so exciting. I move that we do some open act of protest. But nothing as messy as that awful tea party in Boston. Imagine dumping all that lovely tea in the harbor.
Pauses to think.
KITTY (CONT.)
Maybe we could burn our petticoats?
Doesn't see a good reaction from the other women.
KITTY (CONT.)
No. That is way too 1760's.
Thinks again.
KITTY (CONT.)
How about a symbol? We could rally behind a woman that symbolizes what we stand for! Ladies! I will present to you two symbols of the Women of the American Revolution.
Kitty gets some props. She puts on a bonnet and holds up a water pitcher.
KITTY (CONT.)
First we have Molly Pitcher. She is the brave woman who ran pitchers of water to the canons to cool them during battle. When her husband fell under enemy fire, she took his post and fired the canon!
Kitty then rips off her bonnet and pulls out her hair so she has crazy hair and picks up a hatchet. She gets a crazy look in her eyes and swings the ax yelling a battle cry.
KITTY (CONT.)
And we have Molly Hatchet... Yee-haw! I'm gonna git me a lobsterback!
Kitty realizes she has scared everyone and hides the ax behind her skirt.
KITTY (CONT.)
Sorry to scare you, Mrs. Washington. I'll put away the ax now.
END OF MONOLOGUE
By D M Larson
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