Belladonic Haze

7

Joe honestly didn't know why they hated each other with such passion, but they did. There was aggression, hate, want, need and so many more tangled up emotions in their relationship, or whatever that it was.

When their eyes met in the middle of the hallways, everyone around them blured out and all they could focus on was each other with a glint of need and hate between their hazel and ocean green irises. Mostly, the need over powering all other emotions.

He hated the blond with all his passion, but the intensity of the blond's eyes that caused a blush to creep up the shorter's cheek was saying otherwise. The more they stared the more they longed to be alone and the more heat crawled up Joe's cheek. Ben looked away with a smirk curling at his lips, turning away from Joe without any words, no explanation.

The beginning of whatever this was, was so playful, so cheerful the way they kissed without a care, when they didn't care if people saw because it was all but a stupid game/bet of sorts. Now when they stared, they craved for the silence, the ambience with no humanly bodies present around except each other, the intensity with which they made out, the tension. It was all so overwhelming but yet so exciting.

It was nothing more than just the stupid desire, the way the blond made him feel, the way he manhandled him, the way he kissed him and the way his hands ran all over his body. Nothing but a stupid fling or crush, nothing more. A want that would vanish in a couple of days. That's what he had been trying to tell himself, trying to convince himself for the past week or two.

Rami had noticed this about Joe, his behavioural change, his body language, everything about him had changed especially when Ben was near him. Rami could see the effect Ben had on Joe.

It was one of the days where they met up in the silent hallway and their lips were back where they were wanting to be, on the others lips and neck.

It had been nearly half a year since this thing started between them and this had never happened with him. Sure, they grinded up against each other, turning the other on and walking away. Sure, it was no big deal but what Joe was feeling was a painful tug at his heart as Ben continued to grind and an equally painful erection down there. He didn't know what that was, what the fuzzy feeling in his chest was. He didn't know anything. He was a literal and actual mess. Ben, as the tease he was, left with a smirk.

When he calmed himself down and walked back to where Rami asked him to meet, Rami gave him a knowing look, making him feel exposed and vulnerable but Joe wasn't sure yet, why he felt like that.

They sat there in silence, Rami's looks making him feel  so small, his body and mind wanting cover away and not feel the way he was feeling because it was new and strong and so, so very exposing.

When the bell rang, Rami shot Joe a last glance and left to wherever he was going. Joe had lost all sense of time and had no clue where he was supposed to be or which lecture he was supposed to attend. He was lost, metaphorically and literally.

--

He was wondering about all the things that had happened in the past months. All of it. When his thoughts spiralled back to the first time he had kissed Ben, he was a flustered mess, wanting to find some distraction from the thoughts.

As his teeth bit the rear of his pencil and his eyes wandered around, everywhere except the board where the teacher was teaching some crap, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. There was a slight excitement and hope that it was Ben and when he sneakily pulled it out, his lips stretched into a shy smile because it was indeed Ben.

Ben
Come to the hallway. Now.
10:43am

Was the text and Joe couldn't wait, wanting to meet the blond as well. He contemplated his options but even when his body was unwilling to meet Ben, his brain was saying something else, so he scrambled to his feet and asked permission to go to the washroom. Once he was out of the classroom, he sped to the hallway he knew Ben was waiting at.

As he turned the corner, he saw the blond leaning against the wall, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips, his head throw back to the wall, staring at the ceiling.

Joe walked towards his direction and leaned his body on the wall opposite to him, staring at him. Ben looked at Joe as he made his presence known, and sucked on his cigarette, pulling it out of his lips and throwing it to the ground and stamping his foot on it, exhaling the smoke he was holding in.

"We should stop doing this." Those words left Ben's lips and Joe felt a slight pang in his chest, his expressions lost as he stared at Ben, their irises connecting and the eye contact wavering.

Joe nodded, not trusting his words or voice at this point, shrugging his shoulder to appear unaffected but both, the blond and Joe knew that he was everything but that.

"Sure. We have our exams soon anyways. Wouldn't want to fail in any of them." Joe stated, not looking at Ben but instead fumbling with his fingers. The blond frowned at the actions, wanting Joe to look at him but he stared at him and finally nodded.

Joe looked up at Ben and they both shared an intense stare before Joe nodded for the last time and left. He left the hallway and Ben, standing there alone. Once he was finally away, he let go of the breath he was holding and slumped against a wall, his feet giving up as he slid down and situated himself against it. A small noise left his lips and soon there was a stinging at the edge of his eyes.

He couldn't cry, he knew someday that had to happen.