Belladonic Haze

8

"I think I like him." Joe stated slowly, almost disappointed by the fact that he had to feel that way about the blond. Rami just looked at him, giving him a knowing look and finally nodded.

Rami was quiet, awfully quiet. No exaggerated statement, no excited words, no disappointed looks, nothing. Just a plain look and that was all. Almost as if he had seen it coming beforehand and knew Joe would end up in this situation.

"You think?" Another voice piped up, questioning the brunet who was looking down at his own hands as he confessed how he felt.

"Fuck off, Gwil." Lucy mumbled to the taller boy, as her concerned gaze landed upon Joe and she shared a knowing look with Rami.

"No, I mean, I just want to point out a couple things. You have been moping about him and his leaving for sometime now. We all noticed, if you think we didn't, well, we did. Also you haven't been sleeping around and people are concerned as to what happened to you. So if you still think that you think you like him, think again. Because goddamit, we are fucking sure you like him, even more so." Gwil mumbled on, taking bites of his muffin and making eye contact with every person sitted on the table, shocking everyone as he kept on speaking.

"It feels good to finally let it all out." He murmured that sentence to himself, sighing as he slumped down in the seat. For a moment, Lucy wanted to pounce on the taller boy and strangle his neck for saying all of that but in all honesty, even she was tired of Joe always keeping a small face and only sharing small smiles with the group. Almost as if he had lost all the interest to do so.

Joe stared at the three present on the table and looked down at him hands, his fingers fumbling together, which was weird cause he never does that!

"I'm sorry." He mumbled in a small voice, almost like a puppy who had been shooed away after trying to play with the person he was wagging his tail at. Lucy shot Gwil a glare and looked back at Joe who was still acting quite strange.

Rami scooted closer to him and wrapped his hand around Joe's shoulder, giving him som comfort after what Gwil said.

Joe leaned into Rami's touched and slowly relaxed, thinking back to what had happened in the past couple of months.

Their exams were over and Joe was distracted but he managed to get a good number. Ben and Joe stopped whatever they were doing and after the exams, Ben was called back to England by his father. Before leaving, Ben made sure to become friends with Rami so indirectly Gwil and Rami became close and Rami asked Lucy out, the blonde coffee barista, so it all worked out and they were sitting in the same coffee shop, talking as Joe confessed what he wanted to say.

Ben had stopped calling any of them, lost all contact with him really, even Gwil had no idea what was happening.

After what Gwil said, Joe sat at the table, half pondering on his words and half paying attention to the conversations going on at the table. The sudden shift of conversation to the topic of dogs made him enthusiastically join in but also made him miss Ben a lot more because he remembered that once the blond and the brunet had had a conversation on a similar topic.

"Fuck." He mumbled under his breath as his chest started to ache, his fingernails digging in the soft skin of his palm as he tried to control the prickling at the corner of his hazel eyes.

"Excuse me." He muttered yet again and shot up from his seat, rushing to the washrooms to quiet the fuck down and try to calm his emotions. As soon as he left the table, the group shared concerned glances with each other.

"That fucking asshole had to leave! Fucker! At least he could tell us why or what was happening. You can't just up and leave." Lucy let out her rage on the topic of Ben's leaving as she realised why Joe rushed away to the toilets.

Gwil shared his similar distaste in the topic, talking about all possibilities why Ben could've left but Rami never joined, sitting and listening along to the duo talk about the blond Englishman that his bestfriend fancied. He sat quiet, almost as of he knew what was actually happening but neither Lucy nor Gwil noticed his silence.

Joe stared at himself in the mirror, his nails still creating indents in the skin of his palm as he extended his hand and touched the mirror, almost replicating the way Ben caressed his cheeks when they kissed. His bloodshot eye kept looking at the mirror until finally a tear escaped his eye and he lost it, sliding down to the floor and curling in on himself, his legs pulled up to his chest, his hands wrapped around the shin and his head tugged in between his knees, as silent tears left his eyes.

He missed Ben, he missed that asshole who left without an explanation. He missed his voice, his touch, his smile, his smirk, everything.

When the door opened, he could care less about who entered until a pair of piteous hands wrapped around his slumped shoulders and the familiar touch made his let out a small whimper at the affection.

"I miss him, Ra-mi. And I'm so scared. I've nev-er felt this way towards him. Its terrify-ing." He whispered slowly to the Raven haired boy who silently listened to him.

"Its alright. You need to calm down, okay? Don't be scared. I'm right here, okay?" He slowly comforted the brunet feeling bad for him because he knew exactly why Ben left and he also knew for a fact that Ben wasn't returning whatsoever unless they themselves went in a search for him. Rami tried, he really tried it for Joe's sake, to keep him safe but it all backfired in his face, a bomb planted for the target's safety, only exploding in the target's and your own face.