Bad boys ain't no good, good boys ain't no fun

1. Just another day at school

I woke up in the new morning feeling perky and sad. I wished my mood would be just as sunny and beautiful as the day was. But my mood was nothing like that.

In fact it was a complete opposite of that. And a lot of times i wished it would be different. So after a few minutes of lying in bed, thinking of my own existence and trying to get up after another sleepless night i decided to take my lazy ass to the kitchen to make myself some coffee.

When i passed a mirror in my room i almost got scared of my reflection in it. I barely recognized myself . I hated what mum did to me. It was my birthday yesterday. Another year without my mum passed by just like that. And I spent another night crying and thinking what did i do wrong so she left me.

I spent my whole night just racking my brain and preventing the flashing images of the night she left to come into my mind. It was always the same. Seeing suitcases all over the living room and my dad crying and Meg crying. And my dad has never cried before or after she left.

I remember feeling scared and guilty and i remember that feeling that i had in my chest. Like i would have a huge rock in my lungs and it would be pressing on my chest and preventing me to breathe. I started breathing heavily and i started choking. My mum couldn't even look at me. And i thought it was my fault because my dad forgot to pick up a birthday cake for me. And my mum started screaming at him. And i started crying and than Meg said everything will be okay but i didn't believe her.

I was six years old and all i remember mum saying was that she's sorry and i remember that she left without even saying goodbye. And she hasn't showed up or spoke to me since she left. And every night for my birthday it gets bad. And it doesn't get better even after a week or so.

I was still drinking my coffee and slowly eating a burned toast when i saw Meg walking pass the open kitchen door.

Her friend was picking her up everyday with her new car. Meg saw me too but she just looked away without saying anything. It would be a huge understatement to say that Meg and I didn't understand well with each other. After i ate my so called breakfast i went back to my room to change.

I just got dressed when i saw the school bus in front of my house. I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs.

“Damn.” i swore on my way to the bus. I should really consider waking up earlier because otherwise the bus always came too quickly and as a result to that my bag was always half empty and my hair was always messy and my eyes were always tired and sleepy.

When i took my seat i saw the annoying look on the bus driver's face. He always had to wait for me. But after all it was his job. So he should stop complaining about it.

“Hello.” Bree said to me with a warm, friendly voice. She was my good friend. Or probably my only friend. Just like me she also wasn't on the popular list.

She had a lovely, straight, brown hair and she was wearing glasses and braces. She was really quiet and shy so we didn't really talk much, but she was always there when i needed her and she always gave very good advices.

So that was good enough for me. I had to gather all my strength to smile to her.

“Hi, Bree” i said. The ride to the school was short and not really pleasant.

I had an early english class that i decided to take this year. I loved writing and since i already was the biggest nerd on the planet i figured it wouldn't do any harm. I said goodbye to Bree because we had different timetables on mondays and then i went to the lockers.

I tried to stay away from the barbie girls and the jocks because i didn't want to be the object of laughter again. As i was walking by i was always looking at the ground and i always tried to be as invisible as possible. I let out a huge breath when i finally came to my locker. I took my stuff and went down the hall to the english classroom.