Cranberry Vodka (Billie Eilish)

-3-

Drunk Friday at Normani's house.

"Truth or Dare," Kacper asked.

"Truth" I replied.

"Do you have a crush as having feelings for someone currently?"

I took a moment to reply, "Not like feelings, but you know..." I didn't feel like I needed to end my sentence. The truth was, I've had a Crush on Kacper himself for almost two years now. It was completely superficial though. Besides the fact that his smile is super cute and his voice hella sexy, I don't have any emotional bonding with him, yet.

To be honest, I have never had feelings for anyone in my entire life, which is kinda paradox, because I'm a hopeless romantic person. I'm in love with the idea of falling in love, yet I'm very careful with the people I'm interacting with. One of my biggest fears is to fall for someone that doesn't fall for me and still be in a relationship with them. Maddie once told me that this is pointless and you have to take a risk sometimes, but there hasn't even been someone I've felt both emotionally and sexually connected with and wanted to take the risk with. That made Maddie question whether I have actual human emotions or not. She is in a different relationship every 6 months and has fallen for every single guy she has ever dated.

Love is beautiful, don't get me wrong, I love love and I'm not scared to fall in love. It's not that I desperately wanna be in a relationship, but I want to at least be in one for once, to know what it's like to fall in love, while the other person is equally in love.

Kacper kept looking at me like he was trying to figure me out but then drank a gulp of his drink as I continued to ask someone else. Kacper got asked the same question later by Lauren and surprised everyone when he affirmed. That information probably decreased my chances to get with him drastically, but it wasn't gonna happen anyway, so I wasn't too sad.

"Too drunk Friday" Normani screamed, and everybody raised their glasses, careful not to drop it while dancing and singing at the same time to "born this way" by Lady Gaga.

At some point, we decided to leave the house to get some food. I was too dizzy to care, and fast food seemed like the best option. I'm still probably gonna regret it later but right now I gave zero fucks. I got some nuggets with fries.

It took us almost half an hour to get there by foot, so we decided to trust Normani's short-cut on the way back this time which turned out as a huge mistake. We got lost.

"I told you we should have just walked the normal way back" Maddie complained. "Experimenting different ways at night is never a good idea, I'm scared."

"No one is gonna kill us, Maddie, calm down. I think we should have turned right before" Normani said.

"Yes, we should have, where the fuck are we now? I wish Shawn was here, he always knows the way back. Why didn't he come anyway?" Maddie cried out.

She was right. We were in the middle of nowhere without a single soul around.

"I think there was something with his grandma" Kacper explained.

We strayed around a little bit longer when we saw a group of people. I thought we were going to ask them for the way, but the others began walking faster to pass them. When I got a closer look, I couldn't blame them. They did look menacing somehow. I could recognize two girls with a bunch of men. Two of them were currently curling on the ground fighting with each other. The others didn't seem to be bothered at all though.

One girl was lightening a joint and the other one was in a heavy conversation with some dude. I flinched. He seemed to be threatening her. I slowly got a little bit closer and saw him pushing her against a post. I didn't understand what he was saying, but I think it was something like. "You know what I'll do if you refuse to do that," but I wasn't sure. I almost wanted to step in, but her next action took me by surprise. She cut herself off him and then kissed him. He seemed satisfied and grabbed her closer to him. "See, that's better" he smiled dirtily.