Time After Time || Chris Cornell

16. I Said That You're My Friend, And Our Love Will Never End

Seattle Washington, December 10 1989

(Andi is 19)

ANDI: A few days after meeting up with my dad, Chris had to leave for his gig at The Whiskey A-Go Go in Hollywood. I wish I could've gone with him, but it was sort of last minute when he asked me to go. Susan couldn't book an extra room for us, since the record label was the one paying for the room, so I just decided to stay back here in Seattle. It's alright, It's only a few days anyways. Hiro had left the band just after recording Louder Than Love back in the fall, so they asked Jason Everman - who played in Nirvana for a little bit before getting fired - if he would join them on the road for the small touring cycle for Louder Than Love. Jason's cool, he just doesn't really hang out or anything. He tends to keep to himself a lot.

I'm not going to get into specifics on exactly why Hiro left, mainly because they haven't really told me anything, but my guess is Hiro was a little bit intimidated from all the attention the band was getting. He said he wanted to go back to school but I think it was how a lot of the focus is on Chris now. I mean, you should see all the girls and how they just fall all over him. It's so funny because he's not like the person he portrays on stage. He's shy and has moments where he is self conscious of himself and just like, normal y'know? He's not cocky or arrogant or anything like what you would think a front man would be. He may be sexual on stage but when the show ends, they don't own him - if you know what I mean. Most of the time when he does that on stage, he tells me that doesn't even remember doing it. The music just takes over and he becomes almost trance like. It's fucking amazing if you ask me.

I just finished my last semester of University, achieving honors in Musical Performance and a degree in Marketing. When I moved in with Chris, he insisted that I wouldn't have to pay rent or anything since I was already doing so much with studying practicing but I insisted that I get a part time job to at least help pay for some of the expenses. Xana on the other hand convinced Chris and Andy that she would do all the cleaning- since she had recently lost her job before we moved in with the boys - and that they wouldn't have to worry about a thing as long as she could stay as well. I told her that we'd share the responsibilities but she insisted. Chris for some reason, thought it was a bad idea for Xana to move in which I didn't understand because she was an awesome roommate to me. She's my best friend. But I noticed over the year that we lived with the boys, that Chris gets annoyed with her so easily. I can tell you that as much as Andy and Xana fight - which is often - Chris and Xana are worse at times.

I'm probably making it sound like no one gets along which isn't true at all. I know they all love each other like friends should, and they all love me too, but I do feel like I'm in the middle sometimes, and I'm sure Andy feels the same way.

So here I sit, alone in our room, in my pajama shorts that barely cover my ass and one of Chris's plain black t-shirts that smell like his cologne, only missing Chris just a little bit - oh who am I kidding, I miss him like crazy - as I play a few chords on my jet black Gibson that lays across my lap.

"Sitting here, wasting time... my only friend... no that doesn't work. Um... Time is my only friend, until it's not, and then it's.... not.., well that just sucks... ugh - Chris you're so much better at this than I am," I sing to myself as I glance down at my little black journal full of notes and lyrics and just random ideas. Chris and I had thought of combining both of our journals into one book but it's better that they're separated. I love seeing his writing in the margins of my pages when he likes something I've come up with.

"... Baby, just hold on a second - " Andy says

"No!"

"Xana- ?"