Time After Time || Chris Cornell

31. If I Can't Have You Right Now, I'll Wait Dear

Dusseldorf Germany, April 16 1990

(Chris is 25 Andi is 20)

CHRIS: "Shit, no... no, no," I say as I bend down and pick up her clothes from the bus floor. I head out of the back room tossing them onto the couch and up to the front of the bus "We can't leave yet,"

"What?" Kim asks.

"I gotta find Linda... where the hell is Linda?" I start to panic and run down the steps of the bus. Once outside, I look around and see our tour bus driver, Linda talking to our tour manager Jim as the last of our equipment is packed onto the lower storage unit of the bus. I quickly run over to her interrupting their conversation but I didn't care.

"Chris? what's - " Linda starts

"We can't leave yet. We gotta stay here for just a little bit longer," I say trying not to sound panicked but I couldn't help it.

"Chris we gotta get on the road, the next gig is tomorrow and we got a long drive to Berlin," Kim says suddenly appearing behind me.

"Andi slipped," I say turning back to him and his eyebrows raise in disbelief.

"Oh shit," He says.

"Yea, really 'Oh shit'"

"Ok, um... well I can talk with the promoter at the next venue and see if we can push it back a bit, but, I can't make any promises," Jim cuts in.

"Will she come back here, I mean on the bus or...?" Kim asks glancing up at the bus.

"I don't know, she's never slipped while we were travelling before so... I have no idea. I don't want to leave in case she comes back and we're not here and she's here alone in the parking lot, or on the side of the road -" I say feeling my own anxiety creeping up and worrying me about what could happen to her if I wasn't here.

"Chris, hey... it's ok, we'll just chill for a little bit, she'll come back," Kim re-assures me.

****

"Guys, we gotta get on the road... it's 4:00AM. If we don't head out now we won't make Berlin," Jim says as he climbs up onto the bus and sees me on the couch leaning forward resting my arms on my knees, slightly moving back and forth as my silver chain with Andi's diamond ring swings, touching my bare chest every once and a while. I drop my head in my hands, my fingers gripping my roots as I debate in my head just what I should do.

"I can't leave. I can't... I..." I trail off trying to think but I can't.  All I can focus on is hoping she'll come back to me.

"Chris, I hate to say it but we gotta get going, Andi will be fine. She's the one who booked us a hotel for tomorrow night after the show so maybe she'll be there... hell who knows she might already be there right now," Kim says as he sits down beside me. I look up at him for a moment and then straight ahead, and play with the diamond ring in between my fingers. I can see Jim staring at me waiting for an answer but the only answer I want to give him is that I don't want to leave at all.

"Ok, " I reluctantly say quietly and bring the ring up touching it to my lips all the while hoping I didn't just make the biggest mistake.

*****

Seattle Washington, January 23 1990

(Andi is 20 and 20)

ANDI: "I'm sorry... I'm just..." I trail off as I lift myself from my shoulder as we stand in the bathroom of The Moore together, feeling strange as we once again acquire the memory of this moment at the exact same time, only once again I am on the other side of it.

"It's ok," She says and looks at me with those dark eyes of mine. 

"I should go before anyone sees us in here," I say and wipe my tears from my cheeks.

"Ok, um... here, take my keys and you can head back to the apartment. I'm assuming you slipped there anyways?" She says glancing at me up and down.

"Yea... thank you," I sniff and flip my curls out of my face as I take the apartment keys from her and make my way to the bathroom door.

"Andrea?" She asks and I turn to face her. "Is Chris ok? I mean are we ok?"

I hesitate for a moment, giving her a gentle smile and glance down at the tattoo etched on my finger. "Yea, we're ok... He's ok," I re-assure her. She smiles back at me and I make my way out of the bathroom, heading down the hallway and out the back entrance.

I thought about maybe trying to catch Andy again but decided against it. Whatever happened between us will be our little secret, but now I understand why he said that he loved me when I found him on the floor the first time he overdosed. Maybe in a different time, had I not met Chris, things would be different. 

I arrive back at the old apartment, setting my keys down on the side table in the entryway like I always had done before, slip of my jacket and head down the hall to the bedroom. I wasn't sure what exactly to do since I pretty much feel like I'm just waiting until I slip back to my time. I just hope that when I do, I'm in Berlin at the hotel and not on the side of the highway somewhere naked and alone. That is the most frightening thing about this condition. For the most part I've been pretty lucky.

I exhale and make my way over to my guitars and pick out the one that Chris stole for me all those years ago. The jet black '81 Gibson Les Paul standard. I situate myself down on the floor, my legs stretched out in front of me with my guitar across my lap, leaning against the bed. I flip my curls from my eyes and begin to pluck at the strings while I close my eyes and sing quietly to myself the song I had been working on before we had left for Europe.

"I'm your disappearing one, vanish when you play your song.
But I will come again, and you will let me in, and you'll see I never disappear for long..."

*****

"...yea let me get it, it's in the bedroom," I say as Chris slowly lets go of my hand with everyone following in behind us. I slip off my leather jacket and Chris gives takes it from me like the gentleman he is and hangs it up as I take off towards the hallway.

"Drinks anyone?" Xana says as she follows behind me, turning towards the kitchen while the guys all call out which drink they would like. I make my way down the hallway to our bedroom as I continue to hear every ones laughter from the living room, and just as I approach the door, I see my '81 Gibson on the floor with my clothes in a pile underneath. I sigh and pick up the guitar from the floor and set it back down on its stand beside Chris' Cherry Burst, then pick up my clothes from the floor, setting them in the laundry hamper, hoping that I made it back safely to wherever and whenever I was.

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A/N: Hello Lovelies! I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. I just want to say how much I appreciate each and every comment and vote from all of you and how thankful I truly am that you all decided to give this story a read. I know sometimes this story may come across a little complicated with all the time travel so I hope I'm executing what I see in my head as clear as can be for all of you to enjoy. 

Thank you so, so much!

-Love, templeoftheslavegarden