Time After Time || Chris Cornell

18. Into The Flood Again

Seattle Washington, March 2 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 25)

ANDI: It was a grey Pacific North West afternoon, typical weather for Seattle and I had just finished my short little 4 hour shift at the local used record shop - Bluestreak Records - downtown. Instead of taking the bus back home, I decide to walk. Normally Chris will come and pick me up but he said he would be at Kim's rehearsing this afternoon so I just said that I would meet him there once I stop at home first to clean up a little.

I wish I could just drive instead of having to catch a bus or a cab or have Chris drive me everywhere. Given my condition, it's definitely recommended that I don't. I wouldn't want to be behind the wheel and suddenly have an episode and end up causing an accident or killing someone.

As I walk out on to the sidewalk, slinging my bag over my shoulder, I take out my Walkman with my headphones and blast Metallica's Master Of Puppets album in my ears. Eventually I make it back home and climb the steps to the front door. Once I open the door, I step inside and take off my bag and my head phones, setting them down beside the door, then slip off my leather jacket and hang it up. The living room was dark as no one seemed to have opened the curtains at all since I left earlier this morning and I could hear the faint sound of Van Halen's first record playing from Andy and Xana's room. I walk over to the far window and open up the curtains to let some light in, though the gloominess of the day doesn't really help much. Then as I make my way down the hallway to get myself ready to take a shower, I see the bathroom door slightly open and a bare foot peaking out from the corner of the door.

"Xana?" I call out slightly panicked but trying to keep my cool.

Nothing.

"Andy? Is that you in there?"

Still no answer.

I quickly move to the door and attempt to care fully open it but I couldn't as they were laying in front of the door.

"Andy!? Andy!!" I shout but no answer. After a few moments of me pushing on the door, I was able to slide myself through the crack and see that in fact it was Andy laying on the floor on his back, his blonde locks matted to his forehead, only in his blue plaid pajama pants and a syringe hanging out of his left forearm right in the crook of where his elbow bends.

"Holy shit, no... no, no, no, no," I keep repeating frantically as I maneuver myself in between him and the bathroom counter, and try my best to lift up his head, tapping his cheeks to get him to wake up. I lean over him and listen to see if I could hear him breathing and I could, but just barely. I take his right wrist and feel around for a pulse and then move my fingers up to his neck since I couldn't feel anything with his wrist. Eventually I do feel a pulse but it's so incredibly faint, it's almost hard to tell.

"Andy... can you hear me? Please, can you hear me?" I start to cry as I tap his cheek again. He still doesn't move but I hear a little groan emerge from his throat. I then carefully pull out the syringe from his arm and maneuver him into my lap, cradling his head as I attempt to get him to come back to me.

"g-g-g-gone" He groans out, barely able to form words as I hold him in my lap.

"What? Andy... no, no, no... stay with me," I cry and he tries to make out a few more words.

"l-l-l-love y-y-y-you," He mumbles as he tries to open his eyes.

"I'm gonna call an ambulance ok?" I say wiping away my tears.

"N-n-n-no," He mumbles again, and slowly starts to come around. He groans a few more times and begins to try to move. He throws his one arm around me and slowly begins to open his eyes to focus on me.