Time After Time || Chris Cornell

37. A Strange Girl Who Is Everything I Ever Dreamed

Seattle Washington, September 21 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 26)

ANDI: "Ok, I can do this right? I mean... right?" I say as I stand in front of the full length mirror in our bedroom, My dark curls styled in loose ringlets that cascaded down passed my shoulders, looking at the simple white strapless dress that hugged my bust perfectly and flowed down to just above my knee. It pretty much looks just like a sun dress with a lace overlay starting from just under the bust. It's pretty '60's inspired and it was all I could afford - and it was the only dress that I found suited me the best without it being too elaborate, that also went perfectly with these solid white heels on my feet that feel too tall. I just hope I don't trip at any point.

"Yes, baby girl... you can do this,"

I turn around and see my father John, standing in the doorway leaning against the frame in a white dress shirt, black jeans and a black jacket. His hair just to his shoulders and a full beard and I suddenly felt like a little girl again.

"Daddy," I say and my bottom lip trembles as he walks over to me and embraces me in a hug.

"How's my girl?" He says and I practically cry feeling his arms around me. I hadn't seen him since December last year and I knew I missed him, I just didn't think it was this much. He smells exactly the same, reverting me back to when I was a little girl and I would hang on his every word and snuggle into him as he held me.

"Uh, well I'm getting married," I giggle through my tears as I pull away from him.

"I see that," He chuckles as he glances over me.

"Oh my god, I'm a mess," I say as I turn back to the mirror and grab a tissue wiping my eye trying carefully not to mess up my make up.

"No sweetie you are beautiful... you look just like your mother when we got married," He says and I turn back to him. "I wish she could see... " he trails off for a moment and looks down at himself.

"It's ok daddy... she's here," I say and he gives me a half smile.

"You know... I always loved your mother. No matter what. I made mistakes and I regret the day that I left more than anything -

"Daddy - "

"No you need to hear this. I miss her more than anything. I know we probably were never meant for each other but she was a really good woman, and I loved her very much and I was just too damn stubborn and hardheaded in my ways to realize just how much she wanted me to be there... How much she really meant to me," John looks at me with his dark eyes filled with so much love for me and so much regret.

"Daddy it's ok... she knows,"

He gives me a small smile, then takes me in his arms again embracing me in a hug and I knew for sure the tears were going to start again.

"I love you my baby girl," He says, his voice deep and comforting.

"I love you too daddy," I sigh and he holds me for a few more moments and then pulls away giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Ok, I'm gonna let you finish getting ready and I'll meet you at the back sliding door... that is where we planned it right?"

"Yes," I giggle. I can tell he's a little nervous about giving me away. He gives me a wink and squeezes my hand then turns and heads out of the bedroom. I then turn back to the mirror and try to fix up the rest of my make up, making sure nothing smudged with all the emotions I'm feeling. Suddenly I somehow couldn't shake this weird dizzy feeling, thinking maybe it was just cause I haven't eaten anything. I've been way too nervous to even think about food all morning.