The Alpha Rogue

Chapter 22

When I gave birth to Olivia, I had a hard time holding her. It wasn't her fault. I just couldn't stand being touched by anyone. Even an innocent child. That period of my life was very dark. I loved her so much though. I hated how I couldn't hold her without panicking. Getting over that fear was hard but I had great motivation. She's helped me more than she'll ever know.

My mother lost me when I was just three years old. Younger than Olivia. I couldn't imagine what my parents had to go through. Olivia is my whole world. She's the reason I'm alive.

I'm worried. My mother would be happy to see me. She would. I hope at least. However, my mind wouldn't accept that. I'm terrified of what my mother will think. What if she hates me?  I don't why she would but there's still that what if. My mind made me overthink. I had so many what-ifs in my head. But I tried my hardest to reasonably answer them.

My father was too busy chatting with Olivia to notice my quietness. I was fine with that. I didn't want to bother him with my problems. Though I knew I probably should. Me being alone with these thoughts was a poor idea. If I had a distraction, my mind wouldn't be wandering this much. My thoughts wouldn't spiral out of control.

"Zoe?" My dad said softly. His hand rested on my shoulder as he looked at me with worry. I looked around and realised the car was parked. I hadn't even noticed. We must be here.

"Sorry," I muttered. He didn't ask me what's wrong. He didn't ask if I was okay. I kind of wish he would've. "Do you think she will like me?" I asked quietly.

If he wasn't a werewolf, he wouldn't have heard me. But his sensitives ears caught what I said. He turned to me so fast that I thought his head would fall off. "Zoella, your mum will love you. I do," he said sincerely. "Now, I must warn you. I may or may not have told her that you are coming home. So she might be a tad bit crazy."

This isn't going to go horribly. No way. Nope. How could it? Oh my Goddess. What if I make her have a heart attack. Shit.

"You'll be fine, Mama. I know it," Olivia assured me. I smiled at her and grabbed her hand. As we followed my father into the house, my anxiety grew. Thank Goddess Olivia was with me. I couldn't handle this on my own.

Scanning my surroundings, I tried to find something familiar to me. Déjà vu surrounded me. How could I feel so out of place but at home at the same time? Everything seemed to trigger something in my mind but I couldn't tell what. It was like my memories were trying to break free from a locked box. Sadly, none of my memories managed to break free. It only gave me a headache.

"Hun, I'm home," my father called out. I studied his house. I used to live here. This used to be my home. I looked at the picture of a young girl and boy. I had no memory of the boy but I knew the girl was me. She was me before everything happened. There was no pain in her eyes. She was carefree and childish. I wish I remembered that young girl. I wish I remembered who I once was.

My father led us into the kitchen where a middle-aged woman was making something. She looked almost exactly like an older version of me. Her long, curly, auburn hair was nearly a perfect match to mine. Her nose, sharp jawline and cheekbones were just like mine. The only difference was our eyes- mine looked more like my father's blue eyes. I knew without a doubt this woman was my mother. "How was the-" Her eyes grew wide as she looked at me- "Zoey? Is that really you?"

Silently, I nodded my head. Tears brimmed my eyes as I stared at my mother. She swiftly walked towards me and pulled me into a tight hug. My head rested comfortably on her shoulder as we both cried. This is what home is. Goddess, I'm home.

"I- You're- Goddess, I thought I'd never see you again. I can't believe you're really here after all these years," she whispered.

I smiled and wiped her tears away. I can't believe this is really happening. "I can't believe it either," I told her truthfully. "I never thought I'd see you guys again."