This Thing Called Life

Chapter One

Kurt and Blaine have been best friends for over 2 years, and they are inseparable. They met when Blaine transfered to McKinley at the beginning of Sophomore year. It was now the end of Senior year and they were about to graduate in a month. They had everything planned out for after graduation: They would move to Chicago and get an apartment together downtown, get jobs, go to college, and just enjoy life. They both applied to Loyola and Northwestern, and were now just waiting to see if they would receive acceptance letters. Blaine wanted to become a Journalist, so he was going to be double majoring in Creative Writing and Journalism. Kurt wanted to become a Children's Behavior Specialist, so he was going to be majoring in Psychology.

Since becoming best friends, they have told eachother everything and had been there for eachother through everything. They both had come out as gay to eachother, they had gained and lost friends together, they helped eachother get over failed crushes, and they just genuinely knew everything about the other. Both boys also had a crush on the other and loved eachother deeply, but neither one knew.

*****

It was a Friday after school, and they were hanging out at Kurt's house, helping eachother with their Senior projects. Blaine shifted on the bed awkwardly and Kurt could tell something was bothering him.

"Are you ok? What's wrong Blaine?" Kurt asked concerned. Blaine shook his head and looked down at his lap. "It's nothing. I'm fine I was just thinking about something. Don't worry." He said half smiling. Kurt looked at him skeptically, but let it go for now.

What Blaine really wanted to tell him was that he was absolutely terrified of the future. He was so stressed with Nationals coming up in two weeks, then graduation, then moving and going to college... It was all too much for him to handle.

Blaine has been struggling a lot recently with anxiety and depression, but he hasn't told anyone. The only person he really trusts is Kurt, but he can't tell him. He refuses. He doesn't want to be a bother to Kurt or make him worried. Kurt's probably got enough on his mind anyways with everything going on, and Blaine doesn't want to seem like he's weak.

He knows Kurt won't judge him, but he just can't help feeling the general underlying anxiety that he'd be bothering him.

For Blaine, when he's experiencing anxiety, it presents itself to him in a way that makes him think "What if I'm not good enough?" or "What if they don't want me around?" But when he's experiencing depression, it presents itself to him in a way that makes him think "I'm not good enough." or "They don't want me around."

Blaine has had a crush on Kurt for a while now. Since they first met actually. He's had other crushes too, but they always seemed to fail and lead him back to Kurt. Recently, he's noticed his feelings getting stronger and being more constant. He wants more than anything to tell Kurt, but he could never. He's too scared and he doesn't think Kurt would ever feel the same.

Why would he? He was just a scared, depressed, annoying boy, and Kurt deserved better than that.

Kurt noticed Blaine was staring off into space and his hands were shaking. He set his notebook aside and grabbed Blaine's hands, bringing him back to the present. He looked in Blaine's eyes and saw worry and sadness. He spoke up and asked "Blaine what's wrong? You seem very stressed and out of it and I want to help. You can talk to me." He said. Blaine hesitated for a moment, contemplating something almost, but then just shook his head and said "I'm alright. Just really tired. That's all." Kurt sighed and let go of his hands, moving back to his notebook.

*****

A couple hours later, they decided it was getting late and they should call it a night. Kurt walked with Blaine downstairs to say bye to him. Burt, Carol, and Finn were already asleep. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands, and forced Blaine to look him in the eyes. "Listen Blaine, I just want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything. If something's wrong you can tell me. I care about you a lot, and I'm always going to be here for you. I want you to know you don't have to be afraid to come to me." Blaine smiled and hugged Kurt tight, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. "I know Kurt. Thank you. I'm always going to be here for you too." He said. "I'll see you Monday." Kurt whispered and they waved goodbye. Kurt stood there and watched Blaine drive off down the street until his car was no longer in sight.