More than Anything

Everly

I can't make myself regret leaving Brielle behind. She's safe back in our room, and that brings me some relief. At least I know that she'll be okay, that she can't get hurt.
The sky is dark, and stars twinkle in the night. The wind whistles in my ear, and the grass crunches underneath my feet. Part of me wishes that Brielle were here. She would keep me warm in this darkness surrounding me. She'd be a constant light in this night. But, no. She's back in our room, asleep. Because of me.
I force myself to push that thought out of my mind. At least she's safe. At least she's alive, and not putting herself in harm's way. I had to do this. Brielle might not understand, but even if she hates me after this, she'll be safe. I don't know if I can take Brielle hating me again, but if that's the price I have to pay for saving her, I'll pay it. I just need her to be okay.
The Great Lawn is empty in an almost eerie way. I jump at almost every single noise (not that I'm scared or anything; just prepared). Part of me wants to just turn around and run back to my room. I could wait for Brielle to wake up, and give her a good morning/late night kiss. If she doesn't kill me first.
I put a sleeping spell on Brielle. That part still hasn't fully sunk in. It's like I'm trying to forget everything that happened ten minutes ago. That would be the easiest thing to do, but I don't think Brielle will let that slip by. She'll kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll hate me forever. We'll go back to the way we were, and I'll never be able to move on. She'll glare at me in the hallways (if I'm lucky enough for her to even look at me). She won't love me anymore. I won't be able to see how her eyes shine when she's happy. I won't hear her strong, smooth voice in my ear. No. She'll hate me, and I'll never be ready for that.
    I pinch myself, bringing myself back to reality. I can't think about Brielle right now. I can't think of the consequences of my actions; not yet. I have to focus on the task ahead of, and take it one step at a time. A feeling of dread fills the pit of my stomach. I'm not ready for any of this. I'm good at magic, but these are vampires. I can't fight more than a few of them at once. But, I am a vampire now, so I might have some advantages. (I have no idea what those advantages would be. I never really figured that out.)
    The gates tower over me, making me feel incredibly small. I could run. I could easily just turn around and run into Brielle's arms (I doubt Brielle would hold me after what I did). But I can't. I have to do this. I have to stop the vampires before they Turn any more students. I can't let them become like me. I wanted someone to save me, so I'm going to be these students' savior.
I stand to the side, trying to stay as hidden as I can (it would be quite unfortunate if the vampires saw me before I saw them). My breath fogs in the air, and I realize how cold it must be. I don't feel it. I don't feel it. Tears immediately come to my eyes, and I stifle a scream. I've known that I'm dead since I was Turned, but this was just a cruel reminder. I'm dead. I'm a monster. I'm—
The sound of the gates creaking cuts me off mid-thought. I whip my head towards the source of the sound and see four figures stepping out of the shadows beyond the gates. Oh good. There's four of them.
I pull my wand out of my back pocket, and step into their field of vision. For a moment, they just stand there, watching, sizing me up. The hand holding my wand trembles, and my heart races. I hope I don't look as terrified as I feel. I could die tonight (again). All of my efforts might be for nothing. What if I don't save the missing students? The thought of that makes me feel sick. If I don't save them, they'll be Turned.
"Here to kidnap more students?" I ask, forcing myself to stand tall. They can't know how scared I am.
One of the vampires steps forward—the leader, I presume—and smiles, showing her fangs. If they thought that their fangs were intimidating, they were absolutely correct. I take a step back, and immediately regret it. Her cold, brittle laughter echoes through the night, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Stay out of our way and we won't take you as well," she says. Her voice can be heard throughout the entire Great Lawn.
I laugh, and allow my fangs to pop out. "You already did that," I say, my words slurring a bit because of my fangs getting in the way. "I won't allow you to take any more students."
The vampire shakes her head. "You have no idea how foolish you're being."
I do. I am being more stupid than I've ever been in my lifetime. But I have to do this. "Let's just get it over with, shall we?"
The vampire raises an eyebrow and smiles. "If you insist."
I feel one last bit of fear before it all vanishes in battle. The vampires charge towards me, and a strange calm washes over me. Everything seems to move in slow motion as I think of what to do next. I lunge at the vampires, wand raised. The vampires surround me, and my fear returns faster than it vanished. I'm doomed.
The leader smirks at how easily I was defeated. "Do you give up?" she asks.
I could just give up. Maybe they'd let me go if I promised not to try this again. That would be easier than fighting until the end. But I would never forgive myself for giving up on the missing students. I would blame myself for what happened to them. It would be my fault for not doing everything I could to help them.
Against everything my mind is telling me, I shake my head. "The fun's just begun." I summon fire to my hand and wave it in front of me. This is the first time I've used fire since I was Turned; I was always too scared to try it, since I could easily go up in flame. But now, I know that the fire won't hurt me. I control it, not the other way around.
The vampires back away, hissing (I didn't know we hissed). I just hold the fire up, smirking. These vampires truly don't know who they're dealing with. They don't know what they're dealing with.
I close my eyes for a moment, and let my anger rise. They took everything from me; they have to pay for what they did. I couldn't see my family because I thought that I'd hurt them. They made me a monster. Well, I'll show them what they created.
I throw the ball of fire at one of the vampires, and he goes up in flame. The other vampires watch in horror as he vanishes. I just summon another fire to my hand. Who knew it would be this easy to kill a bunch of vampires?
My head collides with the hard ground, and I feel someone pull my arms behind my back. I cry out at the pain. Cold laughter fills my head, and all I want is for this to be a nightmare. I just want to wake up and see Brielle.
Brielle. If I die now, I'll never see her again. I'll never hear her laughter, never see her smile. Tears come to my eyes, but I force them back. I'll see her again. I'll get myself out of this. Once I do, I'll hold on to Brielle and never let go.
    I struggle against the vampire's grip, but to no avail. I blindly kick out my leg, and feel it connect with someone's knee. A vampire falls to the ground beside me, and I feel a little swell of pride. Of course, I'm still on the ground, and that pride quickly vanishes. My mind searches for a spell to help me. I just need a spell to give me a moment to escape. Then, it hits me.
"I want to break free!" I shout, my voice changing pitch on each note. The vampire's grip on me loosens, and I scramble to my feet. The vampire that was holding me is now on the ground, at least ten feet away (never underestimate the power of Queen). I smile a little before summoning another flame to my hand.
    The vampire leader takes a few steps forward, seemingly unfazed by the fire. The light casts an eerie glow on her face. "Are you really willing to fight this hard for a bunch of students that you don't know?" she asks.
    I glare at her. "I won't let you Turn any more students," I say, my voice trembling with anger. "You ruined everything for me."
    "There must be something more," she prods. "Your hatred may fuel some of it, but the way you fight with such—desperation makes me wonder if there's someone you're fighting for..."
    No. No, no, no, no, no. She can't know about Brielle. She can't. Maybe she's just really good at guessing. That's what it is. It has to be.
    She laughs. "So there is someone you're fighting for. Is it perhaps a girl with blonde hair and green eyes? A very beautiful, strong fighter."
    A low growling noise rises from the back of my throat, almost involuntary. I'm shocked when I realize that I just hissed. "Stay away from her."
    The vampire turns to her followers. "Find the girl, and bring her here."
    This can't be happening. Brielle doesn't need to be a part of this. I made sure that she would be safe, and even then, she isn't. Even worse, I put a sleeping spell on her. What if she's not awake to fight? What if they just take her, and that's that? I'm so stupid!
    "Don't you dare," I growl. The vampires laugh, and all I want to do is watch them burn. Before I have the chance to move, I'm on the ground again. My wand lies a few feet away, too far for me to reach. I can't summon any fire without the possibility of lighting myself on fire. Well, I guess this is finally over. But it can't be. After everything I've done, after all of the fighting, it can't be over. It feels wrong to know that good doesn't always win. My stomach drops. I lost.
A scream tears through the night, and a flash of light bursts in the corner of my eyes. Another vampire is dead. Who else could be out here at this time of night?
"Let her go!" a familiar voice shouts. Brielle. I kick at the vampire holding me down, and push myself up off of the ground.
When I see Brielle, it feels as if I've been punched in the gut. Her eyes are filled with fury, and it looks like there are fires burning behind them. Her blonde hair shines in the moonlight. It flows down in waves, the wind gently blowing it behind her. She looks like a warrior angel that descended from Heaven (if I believed in angels and Heaven). She wears the same thing she wore before I put the sleeping spell on her (black leggings and a blue sweater).
Right. I put a sleeping spell on her. Well, we don't have time to talk about that now, and I'm kind of glad. I'm not sure that I'm ready for that argument.
The vampire leader grins, her fangs gleaming. "We didn't even need to find you," she says. "You came right to us."
Brielle takes a step forward, challenging her. "Maybe I did. Now, if you would kindly leave Everly alone, that would be greatly appreciated."
I look around and realize that there are more vampires than just the four that first came through the gates. When did they get here?
Brielle turns her gaze on me, glaring, and I feel as if she could burn me with one look. "Everly can be very reckless at times. Now, tell me where you're keeping the missing students and I might let you go."
She can't possibly let them go. They could just come back and get more students! More students would be Turned, and our problem won't be solved.
The vampire smiles. "I can't do that. I have specific orders to take more students."
"Who?" she asks. "Who are you working for?"
"That's nothing of you need to know."
Brielle rolls her eyes, and marches up to the vampire. She holds her wand up to the vampire's throat. The vampire doesn't react. She just grins, and says, "I can see why you fell in love with her." She looks up at Brielle, and brushes a strand of hair out of her face. No. She did not just do that.
"Stay away from her," I growl.
Brielle presses her wand harder against the vampire's throat. "Don't touch me," she says. The vampire laughs, but I can see some fear in her eyes. She's finally realizing that she might not get out of this alive. Good. "Tell me."
She shakes her head, and kicks at Brielle. She falls to the ground, and the vampire kneels down beside her. One of the other vampires pulls me away from Brielle, and holds me no matter how much I struggle.
The vampire leader leans in towards Brielle's neck, then looks over at me. She smirks. "I could Turn her right now," she says, leaning in again. My heart stops.
"Don't," I say, barely above a whisper.
She must have heard me because she says, "I won't if you let us leave."
"Fine." I don't even hesitate.
Brielle struggles against the vampire's grip. "No!"
"Let her go, and leave," I say, ignoring Brielle's protests.
The vampire smiles before standing and leaving Watford with her vampire friends. Within seconds, they're gone, leaving no sign that they were even here.
Brielle immediately gets up to her feet, and runs after them.
"Just let them go!" I shout, following her through the gates. I catch up to her and grab her by the shoulders. "They're gone. You can't fight them alone."
"And you could?" She twists out of my grip, and retreats a few steps. "I thought you would've learned by now that we do these things together." Her voice trembles with anger, and I find that I'm speechless. I don't know what to say that would make any of what I did okay. I can't find a way to explain myself.
"I—"
"No," she says. Her eyes are filled with anger, and I just want to make her understand why I did what I did. I know that it was wrong, but I had my reasons.
    "I understand that you didn't want me to go, since I could get Turned, but you cast a sleeping spell on me! You made my decision for me. I should've been able to choose whether or not I went. Not only did you do all of that, but you could've died! I don't know what I would've done if I had woken up and found you dead."
    She's crying now, and I just want to wipe away her tears. But I doubt she'd let me.
    "Brielle," I say. "I know that what I did was wrong." She raises an eyebrow. "It was more than wrong, and I hate what I did. No explanation will make what I did okay, but I didn't want you to get hurt. These vampires are dangerous, and they could've Turned you."
    "They could have," she says. "But I'd risk that if it meant that I could save you."
    I shake my head. "Please tell me you don't mean that."
    "I do."
    "Please, Brielle."
    She wipes her tears away, and takes a few steps towards me. "No," she says. "I would rather be Turned than have you die."
    "Brie," I whisper. "I love you."
    She seems almost taken aback by the words. "Then why did you cast that spell?"
    Her words feel like a stab to the heart. I love her. That's why I cast the spell. I wanted her to come with me, but I knew that I couldn't see her get hurt. "I did it so that you wouldn't get Turned!"
    Brielle shakes her head, furiously. "Did you ever think about how I would feel if I woke up and found out that you got hurt?"
    "I—"
    "You can't protect me from everything!" she yells. She shakes her head. "We were kissing before you cast the spell," she says, her voice lowering to a whisper. "Then, you pointed your wand at me, and I couldn't stop you from performing the spell." She pauses. "I wanted to go through all of this together. I thought that you understood that. But, you didn't, and I'm not sure that you ever will."
    "Brie—"
    She raises a finger to my lips, cutting me off. "You're going to tell me that you won't do it again, aren't you?" She doesn't give me time to answer. "I don't believe you. It hurts, but I don't." She backs away, and her anger is replaced with sadness.
    I can't stop myself from asking, "What does this mean for us?"
    "I don't know," she says. At that, she walks away, leaving me feel like my heart has been torn out of my chest. Tears gather in my eyes as I watch her leave. I bury my face in my hands, choking on a sob. What if she hates me? What if she breaks up with me because of what I did? I look up at the moon as the words I could've said to Brielle—that may have helped me explain my actions—run through my head.