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Special Chapter; YUWIN

He shouldn't be feeling like this, Sicheng was back, Sicheng was here. And yet, Yuta was absolutely terrified. Memories haunting him and the thought of Sicheng going away again, making him restless. He still didn't have a proper talk with the younger boy ever since the playground.

He missed him even though he was right there.

They were so close, but for Yuta it felt as if they were still miles apart. As if nothing had changed.

Neither of them took the initiative to initiate a conversations. Yuta saw everyone around him getting closer and yet he was acting like a stranger with the person he felt most at home with.

Yuta was scared and so was Sicheng.

Scared of what might happen, scared of the future and scared of losing each other again. While they weren't even in the position to be able to 'lose each other'.

They weren't together. Not in a love relationship and not in a friendship. You could call them.. acquaintances.

Acquaintances that knew each other's fears and secrets. Acquaintances that used to be attached to the hip, never seen without the other. Acquaintances that relied on each other, would trust the other to lead them through a battlefield with closed eyes. Acquaintances that love each other, but don't know how to admit it.

So when Yuta was woken up after another nightmare, he did not expect to hear the hushed voice of Sicheng calming him down.

He was hallucinating.

His breathe picked up as he looked around in fear, barely seeing anything as the room was dark. Sweat or tears- or maybe both- dripped down his face. The Japanese male was full on hyperventilating now.

Was he still dreaming?

The nightmare had been worse than all the ones he had before and he thought he had woken up, but apparently he hadn't. A warm hand touched his arms and Yuta let out a startled cry, shakingly scooting further away.

Sicheng felt pained. Seeing Yuta so scared hurt him. A voice, deep in his mind was saying that, maybe, it was his fault the older was like this.

Slowly Sicheng lifted his arm again, making sure not to scare Yuta as the older seemed to be in a haze. He gently cupped Yuta's face between his hands. Sicheng's concerned eyes made contact with Yuta's glassy ones.

This was not a dream or nightmare.

Something in Yuta snapped as he shortened the distance between their faces and pressed his lips firmly on Sicheng's. The younger gasped in surprise and that was all it took for Yuta to slip his tongue in the other's mouth. Sicheng didn't pull away, he only pressed himself closer to Yuta's body, as if he was trying to become one with the other.

Yuta let his hands wander over Sicheng's body, eventually settling his hands on the younger's hips. Yuta groaned as he listened to Sicheng's soft whimpers, nightmare long forgotten.

Eventually he pulled away and Sicheng unconsciously chased his lips with a pitiful whine. Yuta just smiled and brought the younger's body down, so that he was cuddled up next to Yuta. Both boys fell silent, their soft pants were the only sounds that filled the room. Yuta's hand had found its way to Sicheng's hair and was playing with the soft locks.

"We need to talk", Sicheng eventually muttered, tilting his head slightly to look at Yuta, only to see that the latter was already looking at him.

"We do..", Yuta whispered back.

Sicheng let go of Yuta- which made the older frown a little- and sat up, arms crossed over his chest while looking at Yuta intensely. Now, the Japanese male thrived of attention, but being watched by someone that could see right through him was making him kind of uncomfortable. The older male shifted a little bit and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

Sicheng sighed and placed a hand on top of Yuta's, the action made the latter look up. Sicheng was surprisingly close, but neither of them bothered to move away from each other.

"I'm sorry."

Yuta blinked.

And blinked again.

"What?"

Sicheng let out a breathy laugh, eyes crinkling slightly as he shook his head at Yuta. "I'm sorry."

Yuta just opened his mouth and closed it again after that, repeating the action a few times, which made him look like a fish. "Oh.. Euh.. Why?", he eventually questioned, turning red since he probably seemed and sounded incredibly dumb right now.

"Because I didn't bother talking to you, I ignored you and acted as if I never cared about you, while I miss you. I should've come to you and we should've talked about everything that has happened.. About what happened between us. We should've solved it months ago and yet, we're still hurting. Aren't we?"

Yuta nodded, but remained silent. A sudden slap against his arm made him snap out of his dream like state (please bare with him, he just kissed Dong Sicheng okay?!). "Wh-What?"

"And now you."

"Now me?"

Sicheng huffed loudly and rolled his eyes. "Apologize."

Yuta laughed and leaned closer to Sicheng to peck his lips, making the other splutter. "I'm sorry", he squealed in a high pitched voice, acting disgustingly cute, just because he knows Sicheng hated it.

"You are an absolute menace Nakamoto Yuta", the younger hissed, but didn't shy away from the light pecks Yuta continued placing on his face.

"And you are my one and only Dong Sicheng", he smiled as he intertwined their fingers.

"You're lucky I love you", before Sicheng even registered what he just said, Yuta captured his lips again.

"I love you too."