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The Lonely Hour

I need someone that ill look to in the lonely hour we all go through to give me comfort and love me through, in the lonely hour. I need you- Sam Smith ~ The Lonely Hour

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The jury ruled Michael to 6 months in prison

I did everything I could

But everything was never enough

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Through out the entire process I was in tears. Michael's hateful gaze was held constant and I couldn't bear to see it.

Once the jury ruled him to 6 months in prison I lost it

I ran out of the jury room and ran into the bathroom, I dug around in my purse until my hands had finally landed on the cold piece of silver I had missed so dearly. The only thing other than Michael that can cause relief

( this may be triggering :( and if you feel the need to ever cut, please don't; remember your not only hurting yourself when you do that trust me I know.....)

I pulled up the sleeves of the cardigan I was wearing over my dress and saw the cuts that I had self inflicted two days ago when I met Michael. It felt like the time we spent together was so much more than that.

The wounds were finally beginning to heal, fuck It

I let my hands guide the silver piece of metal across my skin countless times

The relief I had needed;I finally received.

I felt no pain as the wounds began to form and the blood had poured out.

Tears clouded my eyes as sobs escaped my lips. I'm so weak, so pathetic

I walked out of the bathroom, not caring that the blood had began to trickle down onto the floor.

Police men were escorting Michael put and his eyes went from my puffy eyes to my bloody arm

"No no" I heard him say as a tear slipped from his eye

The police officers kept walking, obviously not knowing about my bloodied arm

I ran out of the courthouse and did the only thing I knew how to do.

I ran

But, this time it was different, I felt the loneliest I had felt in a while

I walked along the side of the road and took off my high heels

The stinging from my arm had finally taken it's toll on me, the pain made me cringe and gasp.

I dropped the heels and kept walking, once I had reached my destination I went to a man sitting on the bench and asked him

"Do you know where tommy is?" He looked me up and down than smiled

I had remembered the password correctly and I was going to purchase me deadly friend

Weed

"I would like some weed"I tell him, assertively

"90$" he tells me

I reach in my purse for the 90$ and exchange the money and the weed.

"Thanks" I tell him

The blood on my arm was now dry and I grabbed the baggy of already rolled up weed and grabbed a lighter

Once it was lit I began to smoke it, the familiar pleasure rang through me and before I knew it

I was high

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OMERGOSH I WAS NOT SURE ABOHT WRITING THIS CHAPTER SO I ESPECIALLY NEED YOUR FEEDBACK LOVES

VOTE AND COMMENT

LOVE YOU!

-Susana