always loved you

chapter seven

k i e r a n

The room is cloaked in darkness, illuminated only by the light of my phone from a notification.

My chest starts to ache again as I feel myself slowly slipping into the cycle. I hear her voice in the dark – my name from it. It must be the wind...it has to be.

Rain pounds against the windowpanes, a relentless percussion that matches the rhythm of my racing heart. Every drop feels like an echo of her absence, a reminder of the storm raging within me. Her smile, her promises and little wishes she made...I'm losing my damn mind.

I lean over, turning my phone on again to check the time. 2:37 am.

I simply skim over the snapchat and Instagram notifications as if they mean nothing. Nothing interests me until I see Marcus's notification from four hours ago.

I usually don't text anyone back this late, but I'm in desperate need of something to help me fall back asleep. If I respond and wait for a text back, I'll fall asleep waiting.

I trace my finger over the edge of the phone, hesitating before finally tapping on Marcus' name. The anticipation builds as the image of Tailor materializes the screen, her silhouette a haunting reminder of what once was. My breath catches in my throat as I study her, a mixture of longing and anguish swirling through me.

Her braided hair, the curve of her back, the way she walks with effortless grace—it's all so achingly familiar, yet painfully distant. I find myself drowning in memories, lost in the bittersweet symphony of our past. Each moment we shared flashes before my eyes, a kaleidoscope of laughter and tears, love, and heartbreak.

But amidst the turmoil, there's a flicker of hope—a desperate yearning for closure, for resolution. Maybe Marcus holds the key to unlocking the answers I seek, to unraveling the tangled web of emotions that ensnare me. With trembling fingers, I type out a response, a lifeline thrown into the darkness of the night.

As I gaze at the photo Marcus sent, a flood of memories washes over me, each one more vivid than the last. I remember the way Tailor's laughter danced in the air, like wind chimes in a gentle breeze. I recall the warmth of her touch, the way her hand fit perfectly against mine, as if we were two pieces of a puzzle destined to be together.

But now, as I look at her captured in a moment on that beach, she feels like a distant dream, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. The ache in my chest intensifies, a relentless reminder of what I've lost. It's as if the universe is mocking me, taunting me with a glimpse of what could have been.

I try to shake off the feeling of betrayal creeping into my mind. Marcus is just a friend, I remind myself, a voice of reason amidst the turmoil of emotions. But deep down, I can't help but wonder if there's more to their relationship than meets the eye. Are they laughing together, sharing secrets that used to be mine alone?

The thought gnaws at me, fueling the flames of jealousy that threaten to consume me whole. I want to reach through the screen, to pull Tailor back into my world and away from Marcus' grasp. But I know it's futile, a futile wish born out of desperation and longing.

I leave it opened, a surge of vulnerability washes over me, leaving me exposed and raw. But in that moment, I cling to the possibility of finding solace, of finding peace amidst the chaos that threatens to consume me. I surrender to the uncertainty, knowing that sometimes even in the darkest of nights, there is still a glimmer of light waiting to guide us home.

With a sigh, I set my phone aside, the weight of exhaustion settling heavy upon my shoulders. The storm outside raged on, a symphony of chaos that mirrors the turmoil within me. And as I close my eyes, I cling to the memory of Tailor's presence, hoping that somehow, someway, she'll find her way back to me.

As I step into the school building a handful of days later, the familiar scent of polished floors greets me. The sound of chatter fills the air, mingling with the occasional squeak of shoes on linoleum and the slamming of lockers. It's a cacophony that usually fades into the background, but today, every sound feels amplified, as if the universe is conspiring to test my resolve.

I navigate the throng of students, my gaze scanning every face, searching for a familiar brunette sight. The anticipation coils in my stomach, tightening with each passing moment. I try to push away the doubts creeping into my mind. What if she skipped today? What if I missed her? But I refuse to entertain those thoughts. I have to find her.

Finally, I spot her-Tailor-standing near her locker, with my best friend standing beside her. My heart skips a million beats at the sight of her, and for a moment, everything fades into the background. She's just as beautiful as I remember, her laughter ringing like music in my ears.

I steel myself, gathering every ounce of courage I possess. This is my chance, my moment to set things right. With determined steps, I make my way toward her, each stride a testament to my determination. As I draw closer, I catch her eye, and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

There's a flicker of recognition in her gaze, a spark of something that reignites the hope within me. I swallow the lump in my throat, willing myself to speak, to break the silence that hangs between us like a heavy fog. But before I can utter a single word, she turns away, her attention drawn back to Marcus.

He got what I've wanted for months...Marcus somehow wormed his way to my girl's life.

The rejection stings, a sharp pang that cuts through the armor I've built around my heart. But I refuse to let it deter me. I've come too far to turn back now. Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders and steel myself for the battle ahead. Whether she's ready to hear me out or not, I'll make sure she knows how much she means to me. And maybe, just maybe, this time, she'll give me a chance to make things right.

The hallway feels like a labyrinth of memories, each corner a reminder of the love I once held and the betrayal that now consumes me. Every step I take echoes with the weight of my emotions, the turmoil churning within me threatening to spill over.

"Kieran!" Pricilla's voice comes from the background.

Among this chaos, there's a glimmer of defiance burning within me- a refusal to let this defeat me. I may be broken, but I refuse to be destroyed. With every fiber of my being, I cling to the memories of brighter days, the warmth of summer sun on my skin, the laughter of my brother echoing in the air.

And as I navigate the treacherous terrain of my own emotions, I realize that this pain, this heartache, it's all a part of growing up. It's a rite of passage, a journey of self-discovery that will ultimately shape the person I become. And while the road ahead may be fraught with obstacles, I know that I have the strength to face whatever lies ahead.

With newfound determination, I square my shoulders and continue, refusing to let the darkness consume me. For even in the depths of despair, there's still a flicker of hope, a beacon guiding me towards a brighter tomorrow. And as I take each step forward, I hold onto that hope, knowing that one day, I'll emerge from the shadows stronger than ever before.