always loved you

chapter twelve

t a i l o r

When Marcus left me alone with Kieran, I couldn't help but feel like a little girl, hoping her crush would notice her from across the room. The lights dimmed, and as a slow song began to play over the speakers, two little voices started screaming at each other obnoxiously in my head.

One voice yelled at me, telling me I was dumb and desperate, that being here tonight was a mistake. But the other voice, softer yet persistent, whispered, "Patience... he'll say something sweet. Please, say something sweet..."

I looked at Kieran with a shy expression, my eyes searching his for any sign that the gentle voice in my confused head was right. The song's melody wrapped around us;a slow, intoxicating rhythm that seemed to make everything else fade away. I couldn't help but imagine Kieran pulling me onto the dance floor, swooping in like Prince Charming to save the day.

Suddenly, as if reading my thoughts, he took my hand in his and led me onto the dance floor. He moved with a confidence that made my heart skip a beat, not even glancing back at the table where the four of us had been sitting. "Kieran! What are you—"

When he turned to me, he was so close that I could feel his breath against my skin. This was the closest we'd been to each other without saying anything harsh or regretful in what felt like forever. This was the closest we'd been since that night he showed up at my house, a memory that sent shivers down my spine.

My head was a whirlwind of confusing thoughts and unfulfilled promises. I remembered the way his eyes lingered on me at dinner, the way he seemed lost whenever I walked into a room. Kieran Irwin was the most confusing, yet charming, human I could ever find myself in love with. His tough-guy attitude was just an act, a shield he put up for the world.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Kieran's hand resting gently on my waist. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, their wings brushing up against my heart. Just by the way he was looking at me, I could almost guarantee he felt it too.

I felt it at dinner, and I felt it now. Memories of us from all that time ago, back when he was mine, came rushing back. This moment transported me to the night of my birthday so long ago. I decided not to hesitate anymore. I refused to hide my true feelings any longer.

Tonight was a night for not holding back. I didn't want to look back and think, "Oh yeah, I slow-danced with my ex-boyfriend. Weird, right?" I wanted to remember tonight as the night I danced with him, the cutest, sweetest, funniest, smartest boy I'd ever known.

In this moment, I finally understood why I'd hesitated about everything involving Kieran up until now. It was because I wanted him. I wanted the boy whose arms were around me now to hold me close enough to realize how lucky we had been all that time ago. I wanted to recapture that feeling, to hold onto it and never let go.

Kieran's hand tightened slightly on my waist, and I looked up to find his eyes locked onto mine. The world around us blurred, leaving just the two of us swaying gently to the music. The connection between us was undeniable, a spark that refused to be extinguished despite everything we'd been through.

As we danced, I felt a sense of clarity wash over me. I didn't care about the past mistakes or the uncertainty of the future. All that mattered was this moment, this dance, and the boy who had captured my heart all over again.

I never thought this was even a possibility. Though now, I wish this was my reality much sooner. All I had to do was open my eyes and take the risk.

I stop fighting every rejection in my head as I rest my head against his chest. I hear his heartbeat through the music, the perfect melody.