always loved you

chapter eight

t a i l o r

The air in the classroom feels heavy with anticipation as the day drags on, each minute stretching into eternity as I grapple with the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me.

"Alright class, turn to page fifty-eight and begin reading Shakespeare's sonnet." The English teacher announces.

Shakespeare's words blur together on the page, their meaning lost amidst the cacophony of thoughts racing through my mind. Usually, I'd be diving into the art of Shakespeare, picturing his life in my head. I'd be dreaming about brooks and towers. The beautiful divinity known as Stratford and the wonders of how it would be so pretty to see on paper.

Today is not that day. I'm not thinking about art. Out of all the things to think about, and my mind is full of Kieran and Marcus.

Class ends a while later as the hallways buzz with energy of students rushing to their lockers, but my mind remains ensnared on a web of conflicting emotions. Marcus's presence looms large in my thoughts, a constant reminder of the tangled web of relationships that binds us together.

I weave through the crowd of students, my gaze lingering on Imani as she approaches. Her smile is like sunshine on a rainy day, warming me from the inside out and momentarily easing the weight of my burdens.

But beneath the surface, uncertainty gnaws at me like a persistent itch, a nagging reminder of the secrets I keep buried deep within me. I know that Imani is my confidante, my trusted ally in this tumultuous journey called life, but there are some truths that even she cannot unravel.

I've kept Marcus's secrets close to my chest, guarding them like precious treasures hidden in the depths of my soul. And yet, with each passing day, the burden of those secrets grows heavier, threatening to crush me beneath their weight. But still, I hold onto them, a silent testament to the loyalty that binds me to Marcus, even as doubts gnaw at the edges of my resolve.

As I watch Imani's approach, a pang of guilt courses through me, a reminder of the divide that separates us. She may be my best friend, but there are parts of my life that I keep hidden from her, shadows lurking in the corners of my mind that I dare not expose to the light of day.

But even as I grapple with the guilt and uncertainty that plagues me, a flicker of defiance stirs within me—a stubborn refusal to be defined by the expectations of others, to conform to the norms and conventions that govern our society. In a world that seeks to box us in and label us, I refuse to be confined by the boundaries of tradition and expectation.

For love knows no bounds, no rules, no limitations. It is a force unto itself, a wild and untamed beast that defies reason and logic. And in the tumult of my own heart, I find solace in the knowledge that love, in all its myriad forms, is worth fighting for.

So as I walk beside Imani, a smile playing at the corners of my lips, I carry with me the weight of my secrets and the hope of a future where love reigns supreme. And though the path ahead may be fraught with uncertainty, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone—that together, we will navigate the twists and turns of fate, and emerge stronger, wiser, and more alive than ever before.

As Imani and I walk side by side, I can't help but feel a sense of relief wash over me. She's always had a way of grounding me, of bringing a sense of normalcy to even the most chaotic of situations.

"Hey, Tai!" She chirps. "You ready for marine bio?"

I manage a small smile in response, grateful for the distraction her presence provides. "As ready as I'll ever be," I reply, falling into step beside her as we make our way to our last period class.

But even as we walk, the weight of my thoughts threatens to drag me down into the depths of despair. I glance over at Imani, her expression open and inviting, and for half a second, I consider confiding in her.

Then Marcus's face flashes before my eyes, a reminder of the tangled web of loyalties that bind us together. I swallow hard, pushing the words back down into the depths of my mind, where they'll remain buried for now.

"So, any plans for after school?" Imani asks, breaking through the silence that hangs between us like a heavy fog.

I shrug, unable to muster up the enthusiasm for small talk. "Not really," I admit, my voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "Probably just gonna head home and crash."

She nods understandingly, her eyes filled with a mixture of concern and empathy. "Well, if you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you, right?"

Her words are like a lifeline, a reminder that I'm not alone in this tumultuous journey called life. I manage a weak smile in response, grateful for her unwavering support.

"Thanks, Imani," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "I appreciate it."

And as we continue our way, the weight of my secrets presses down upon me like a leaden cloak, but with Imani by my side, I know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, I'll never have to face them alone.

As Imani and I navigate through the bustling hallways, Marcus suddenly appears, his presence commanding attention as he strides confidently towards us. My heart skips a beat, anticipation building as I wonder what he wants.

"Hey Tails," Marcus greets me with a charming smile, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. He then turns to Imani, her face down in a half-sad grin. "Mind if I steal her away for a moment?"

Imani gives a playful shrug, hiding her emotion. "Go ahead, I'll catch up with you later."

I offer her a grin before turning back to Marcus. "What's going on?"

With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Marcus reaches into his backpack and pulls out a bouquet of flowers, their vibrant colors a stark contrast against the dull gray of the hallway. My breath catches in my throat as he extends the flowers towards me, his smile widening as he waits for my reaction.

"Tailor," Marcus begins, his voice soft yet filled with determination. "These past few days spent with you have been really fun, and I'd like to have more days like this."

I feel my cheeks flush with warmth as his words sink in, a rush of emotions swirling inside me like a whirlwind. Could this be what I think it is?

Before I can formulate a response, Marcus cuts through the tension with a grin. "I'm just gonna hurry up and make my point here."

With a playful laugh, he takes my hand in his, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down my spine. "Tailor, will you go to prom with me?"

Time seems to stand still in that moment, the world around us fading into the background as I stare into Marcus's eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or hesitation. But all I see is sincerity, a genuine desire to make me happy.

"Are you serious?" I ask, unable to contain the disbelief in my voice.

Marcus nods eagerly, his smile growing wider with each passing second. "Absolutely. So, what do you say?"

I feel a rush of excitement coursing through me, a sense of adventure stirring deep within my soul. This could be my chance to let go of the past and embrace the future, to take a leap of faith and see where it leads.

With a smile that feels as bright as the sun, I give Marcus my answer. "Yeah, sure!"

His grin widens into a smile, his eyes sparkling with joy as he pulls me into a tight hug. The world around us erupts into cheers and applause, but in that moment, all I can focus on is the warmth of Marcus's embrace and the promise of new beginnings that lies ahead. And in that fleeting moment, as the world falls away and all that exists is the press of his body against mine, I catch a glimpse of him—Kieran, his expression twisted with a mixture of hurt and betrayal.

The sight pierces through me like a dagger, a painful reminder of the choices I've made and the hearts I've left broken in my wake. Guilt washes over me in waves, threatening to drown me in its suffocating embrace. Even as I struggle to make sense of it all, one thing becomes painfully clear: I can't keep running from the past, from the truth that lingers just beyond my reach.

With a heavy heart, I know that the time has come to confront the ghosts of my past, to seek forgiveness where it's needed and to finally find the courage to let go.