Mahogany sat next to me quietly whispering to Jack Gilinsky who sat on the other side of her while we waited for Shawns surprise.
"What do you think it is?" Mahogany asked.
Jack looked past her at me, "I'm not sure, but I bet it's going to be good."
When me and Shawn broke up for those few days Jack was the person I went to for help, he had always been a really good friend and I knew he supported me decision of getting back together when Shawn when I did.
A huge projection screen came down from the ceiling and a projection was casted onto it. It was the picture from the fair. The screen went black and then a video of Shawn and I started to play. We were in his living room on the floor, I sat between his legs and his arms were wrapped around my body showing me how to play the guitar on my lap.
"This is a G" He smiled.
"I did it!" I beamed with joy.
I looked back at him and smiled and he inched closer to my face and kissed my lips softly.
The screen switched to a new video, this one was at my house in my room. Shawn was sprawled out on my bed and I has filming the video.
"Say hi to whoever is watching this!" I said from behind the camera.
"No, babe don't video tape me!" He covered his face with the blankets.
I got up and took the camera with me and climbed in bed next to him turning the camera to face me and him.
"Aw come on babe, one for the books!" I laughed.
Shawn uncovered his head and smiled at me.
Next was the vine Aaliyah took of me jumping into Shawns arms the day we went to lunch.
After awhile of videos and pictures playing the strum of a guitar poured through the speakers.
"She's like cold coffee in the morning, I'm drunk off of last nights whiskey and coke." A fairly familiar voice sang.
I couldn't figure out who's voice it was though. It wasn't Shawns, there was a slight English accent to it.
A short red headed man with tattoos up and down his arms walked onto stage.
I covered my face with my hands and started crying. Ed fucking Sheeran is standing in front of me singing.
"Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to, Tell me if I'm wrong, tell me if i'm right, Tell me if you need a loving hand to help you asleep tonight."
I sat in my chair speechless, tears running down my face. The one thing me and Shawn always bonded over was Ed Sheeran. I could go on for days about how much I love Ed.
Shawn kneeled down in front of my and wiped the tears off my face.
He smiled, "Surprise."
He stood and took my hand in his and walked me up on stage helping me the whole way as my legs wobbled.
When I got closer to Ed I had to touch him to make sure it was real. When I knew it was real I turned back to Shawn.
"How'd you- how'd you get him," I motioned toward Ed.
"I met him in New York about a month ago, my manager called his and bam here he is." He smiled.
I looked back at Ed.
"It's nice to meet you." He smiled.
"Oh my god, it's an honor to meet you!" I replied, "Can I hug you?"
Ed laughed and nodded his head, I wrapped my arms around him and he gave me a squeeze before letting go. His hugs are to live for wow.
I thanked Ed and he was off to god knows where to do god knows what. Shawn was getting ready for the concert and we all roamed around the arena for awhile, catching up on everything since the guys haven't all been together in awhile.
"God I'm hungry it's been like three hours since I've eaten. I need food in my tummy!" I yelled.
"How about after the concert we all go to dinner before out flight to New York, but for now I can get you something to snack on?" Shawn asked wrapping his arms around me from behind.
I smiled, "that sounds amazing!"
I haven't eaten a lot since Shawn left and it's fairly noticeable that I've lost weight. Shawn has brought it up a few times but I don't really like talking about it with him.
"What would you like?" He asked as we walked up to the concessions in the arena.
"Um, sour patch kids!"
When he handed me the candy I yelped like a little kid.
"God I'm so fat but so proud!" I said stuffing another candy into my mouth.
"Let me have one!" Shawn pleaded.
I poured some in my palm and handed them to him. He put one in his mouth and puckered his lips.
"Those are sour." He coughed.
"You're weak, Mendes." I playfully punched his arm.
"Oh? Really?" He asked.
I nodded and I was swept off my feet in an instant. He was running through the arena with me in his arms like a mad man. When he was tired he put me down and we walked hand and hand to the front doors. There were girls waiting outside in the cold.
"Should we buy them some like coffee or hot chocolate or something? It's freezing out there." I suggested.
"That's a good idea. How many are there?" He asked.
I counted them, "Twelve."
We went back to the concessions and got some hot chocolate, when we opened the front doors the girls started freaking out. As we passed them put to the few girls Shawn stopped and got pictures with them, signed some things, and had little conversations with them. I sat back and sipped my coffee as I watched him do his thing. He was so good with them, and I can tell he really cares for them.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see a girl hiding behind the corner of the building, watching. I got up and slowly walked over to her.
"Hi." I smiled at her.
She backed up.
"I'm not going to hurt you." I said sincerely, "I'm Jacquelyn."
"I know who you are." She smiled.
"Why aren't you out there?" I motioned toward Shawn and the girls.
Her smiled faded, "Shawn wouldn't want to meet me.. I'm not pretty like those girls, and you."
"Shawn doesn't care what you look like, and you're beautiful." I took her hand in mine, "How about we go out there and then I'll buy you a coffee or something."
"I don't know. I'm scared." She looked at me.
"I'll stay by your side if that helps." I pleaded.
She gently nodded her head. Her hand was still in mine as we approached the newly grown crowd. She squeezed my hand as we walked through the crowd, and I squeezed hers back to reassure her that everything is okay. When we reached Shawn I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him close so I could whisper in his ear.
"You guys are amazing." I could hear Shawn say as me and the girl walked away.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Oh it's Josie." She said.
I had told Shawn to meet me in the concessions area when he could.
I smiled, "that's a really pretty name."
"Thank you." She smiled at me again.
I ordered her a coffee and then we sat at a table and talked.
"You know you don't have to be afraid of Shawn." I laughed,
"Yeah it's I thought he wouldn't like me." She looked down at her hands around the coffee.
"Of course he would have, Shawn loves all you guys, it doesn't matter how you look or what you wear. You guys are who got him where he is today. Without you none of this would have been possible." She didn't look up, "He loves you."
She looked up at me this time with glassy eyes.
"Hey babe," Shawn said from behind Josie.
Her whole body stiffened when she heard his voice, she looked at me with worried eyes. I smiled at her.
"Hello." I said standing to meet him.
"Who is this?" He asked smiling at her.
"That's Josie. I saw her hiding when you were passing out the hot chocolates. I told her I'd by her coffee and then let her meet you." He smiled at me.
He kneeled down next to the table to look at her. Tears ran down her cheeks as he talked to her.
"Aw come here." Shawn said.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the chair and wrapped his arms around her, his back muscles tensing as he squeezed her a little bit.
She went on to tell him how much he meant to her, how much he's helped her, and how much she loves him.
"I didn't think I was going to make it through this year," She choked on her words, "but then I found you, and my whole world was flipped upside down. You gave me hope, you made me want to live to know what the future hold for me. I watched you grow as a person, as an artist." She couldn't stop crying.
"I love you so much." He whispered as he hugged her again, "I love you so much."
When he pulled away he wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Will I be seeing you at the meet an greet?" Shawn asked her.
She shook her head no.
"Yes. You will." I interrupted, "I was going to give the other pass to my mom but I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
I pulled out the other pass and put it around her neck. She put her hands over her mouth then hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.
"Thank you so much." She cried.
"You deserve it." I whispered.
She looked up at me and I smiled at her.
"But. We've got to let you go back outside until the meet and greet starts. We could probably get in a lot of trouble for having you in here." Shawn said.
"Yeah okay." She smiled.
We walked her back toward the front door that was surrounded by girls. When I opened it for her screams echoed through the empty arena halls.
"I see you later." I smiled at her.
Shawn and I walked back to the backstage area where everyone was sitting.
"Your mom can still stay back here. She doesn't need a pass." Shawn smiled.
I smiled back at him then went and sat on one of the chairs. I sat crisscross on the chair and just stared blankly ahead.
*Shawns POV*
"Is everything okay?" I asked Jacquelyn.
She looked up at me, "Oh yeah, I'm just thinking."
"Whatcha thinking about?" I kneeled down front of her.
"Josie."
"Why? What's wrong?" I asked again.
"You know she was afraid to go out there with those other girls? She was hiding behind the building, watching. You know why? She was so afraid you wouldn't want to meet her because she "wasn't pretty like the other girls". Shawn what the hell? What is wrong with people today? All of those times those people picked on her and said those things to her. It makes me want to just hug her just promise her everything will be okay even though I can because I don't know if it will be okay. I-i." She couldn't continue,
"Sound familiar?" I asked.
Jacquelyn used to go through the same things. She knows how it feels to be picked on and hated. She knows how it feels to want to fit in so bad. I wanted to hug her and tell her it would all be okay too, but I couldn't because I could promise something like that.
She looked at me like she had been stabbed. Tears ran down her cheeks, one after another.
"I have to find her."
That's the last thing she said before she ran out of the room. I tried running after her but Jack G stopped me.
"Dude, I heard everything. Just let her go find her." He said pushing me back, "The meet and greet starts soon anyway."
"Did I hurt her? Did I upset her? Jack, did I say something wrong?" I asked.
"Shawn, no. Just calm down. You did nothing wrong." He said holding my shoulders.
I nodded and went to the meet and greet area and waited for it to start. When everyone started coming in i looked around for Josie and Jacquelyn but I couldn't find either of them.
*Jacquelyns POV*
I ran out the front doors. Some people tried to stop me and get pictures but I couldn't stop. I looked for Josie in the crowd of girls but I couldn't find her. I kept running and looking. I found her on the bridge the leads to the stairs to leave the arena. She was sitting on the lower bar of the railing, her arms wrapped around the top bar, her feet dangling above the highway below.
"Josie?"
"It's great isn't it?" She asked, "To have him in your life. To know that you're not alone."
"Shawn?"
"Yeah, Shawn." She still hadn't looked at me.
"Yeah, but Josie, you're not alone. I know how it fe-"
"No!" She yelled, "no. You do not know how it feels. How could you know how it feels? You're perfect. You've got everything!"
"You think I have these all over my body just for the hell of it?"
I lifted up the bottom of the hoodie I was wearing to reveal the scars in my hips.
"All of these, because I don't know how it feels?" I asked again lifting my sleeves to reveal the scars on my arms.
"I look like this because I don't know know how it feels?" I said again gesturing to pale fragile body.
"To know exactly what you're thinking about doing, and wanting to do it just as much as you do, because I don't know how it feels.." I whispered.
"I know how it feels, Josie. I know how it feels to want to jump. I know how it feels to be so alone. I know how it feels to think you'll never be good enough for anyone, or that you can never do anything right not matter how hard you try.." I started crying, "the only difference between you and I is I had someone pick me up when I was at my lowest point. But Josie, I am here to be the person to pick you up. I may have just met you, but I can relate more to you than I could ever have to someone who I've known forever."
She looked back out at the headlights. I went and sat next to her.
"I've forgotten how it feels to be alive." I whispered.
Car horns and voices filled the emptiness of the air, headlights and billboards light up the darkness of the night, the breeze from the cars passing below filled my lungs with air teaching me to breath again.
Josie stood up and walked to the end of the bridge and leaned on the railing, she spread her arms and just let the breeze wash over her. I walked behind her.
"It's beautiful, isn't it? The world." She looked over at me.
I nodded and smiled at her. She wrapped her spread arms around me and hugged me tighter than she did earlier.
"I think we have a concert to get to." I nodded my head to the arena.
She smiled and walked side by side with me. When we got inside we made our way though people to find our seats.
"My seat is up here." She stopped walking.
"Not anymore." I said grabbing her hand.
We made our way to the front row and I found my mom.
"Who this?"
"I'm Josie." She said sticking her hand out for my mom to shake.
"It's nice to meet you."
"You too." She smiled.
Two artists were performing before Shawn, but I could see him behind the curtain looking at the crowd searching for us.
When Shawn's time to preform came he stood directly in front of where I was standing. He looked down at me and smiled when he noticed Josie next to me.
Me and Josie both sang and danced around as Shawn sang.
"Is it okay if I dedicate this next song to my good friend Josie, and my lovely girlfriend Jacquelyn?" He asked the crowd.
Josie looked at me in shock, I laughed at her reaction. The crowd screamed. A few people behind us were chanting yes.
"Okay, well this is Medicine by Daughter." He said as he started strumming the guitar, "Turn on your flashlights and hold them up in the air."
"I love this song." Me and Josie both said at the same time.
Shawn sang the song softly yet beautifully. I looked behind me and the whole arena was lot with lights that swayed slowly back and forth. Josie and I took out our phones and did the same. I'd glance over at her and she'd be smiling up at Shawn on the stage.
I mouthed the words "thank you" to him when he looked at me. He winked in return.
When the concert was over we waited in our seats till everyone cleared out.
"I should probably go." Josie said beside me, "Moms probably getting worried."
"You can't stay? We're all going out to dinner after this before mine and Shawns flight to New York." I asked.
"Who's 'all' of you?"
"Me, My mom, Shawn, Shawns family, the other magcon guys and Mahogany." I said casually.
Her jaw dropped, "You're inviting me to dinner with you and not only yours and shawns family's but the magcon guys too?"
"Uh yeah?" I laughed.
"Let me call my mom." she smiled, "Wait I don't have a car."
"You can ride with me, my mom, Shawn, and Aaliyah." I smiled.
She smiled and walked away to call her mom.
Shawn came out with the rest of the guys and our families. He wrapped me in a hug and placed a kiss on my head.
"Where are we going for dinner?" I asked him.
He thought for a minute, "Harvey's?"
(a/n; Harvey's is a Canadian burger place if you didn't know)
"Sure." I smiled, "I invited Josie too."
"I'm glad you did." He smiled.
We all pulled into our cars. We switched driving arrangements around, Shawns parents went with my mom and we took their car. So it was Me, Shawn, Josie, and Aaliyah.
Shawn drove and I sat on the passenger side. I turned on the radio when Shawn started the car and I scanned through the channels until I head a familiar beat. Eminem.
Shawn smiled at me. He put his right hand on my left thigh and the other one gripped the steering wheel.
"You know, I never told you thank you." I looked at Shawn.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I never said thank you for tonight, so thank you." I smiled.
"Anything for you, babe."
-
ya i didn't know how to end this chapter so i'll end it there since a it's a million miles long, but that makes up for not posting in years wow. anywho 10.2k reads holy shit balls imma cry. thank you all sm it means the world honestly 💖😇 ily guys
