Without You -BakuDeku Omegaverse

~TEN~

TW: Panic Attacks and Suicidal thoughts/attempts.
ALSO. 1319 words. Holy shit. I'm so sorry if this chapter triggers you. Skip it. Things will get better from here. 

Bakugou found his way out of the school, his heart pounding as tears ran down his face. He was doing his best to wipe the blood off his hands, though he was doing a better job at smearing it than anything. He'd been bullying Midoriya for years, so why did his chest hurt all of a sudden for it. He could hear Midoriya's words loud and clear in his head. You bullied me for years because you were scared, Katsuki!  Was the nerd right, was Bakugou scared? He hadn't felt scared all these years. He kept pushing himself away from the school, stopping in the middle of the woods. He could smell the faint scent of Midoriya's trail, and the cinnamon hit a spot in his chest, causing the Alpha to let out a pitiful howl in the middle of the trail. He fought to catch his breath. The ice that had frozen him earlier was back, covering every square inch of his body. He'd never felt so cold in his life. He'd read about the feeling of a soul bond before. And what happens to each partner if that bond is broken prematurely. But he hadn't bitten Midoriya, or even mated with him. And he'd never felt this pain before.

He wanted to move, scream, do anything but just stand there, in the middle of the forest and howl. He didn't even know why he was howling. He covered his mouth, growling at himself. He was howling for Midoriya, and he was sure the Omega could hear him. He didn't want to be found. He didn't want the male to come looking for him. He focused on moving one foot at a time, toward his house. He didn't know why he'd let himself get so hooked on the male again. Why everything Midoriya did affected him. He told him he'd hated him. Lies. He wanted to tell him he never wanted to see him again. Lies. He wanted to beat him into oblivion to make himself feel better. Lies. He wanted to escape whatever had them tied together. 

***

Midoriya stayed curled up in the nest, feeling the blood drying on his hands and face. He couldn't move to wipe it off. He couldn't move at all. The longer the blond had left him alone, the colder he felt. He'd felt like this before, when Bakugou had killed all communication between the two. He hadn't told anyone about it except for his mother, who only cried for him, apologizing. He hadn't understood it then. He'd just wanted her to tell him everything was okay. To tell him not to worry about it. That'd been when the panic attacks had started. When the sleepless nights had become sleepless weeks and the overdue classwork had become unbearable. He was twelve, and his world had crumbled at his feet. He'd become a shell of himself and it took years to get to where he was now. And one argument had ruined that. 

Midoriya still wanted to be furious at Bakugou. He wanted to scream at him, do something other than hide under a pile of blankets. But he couldn't. His mind still set Bakugou up on top of a pedestal. He still wanted to please his Alpha. An Alpha that wasn't his. Not really. 

His thoughts froze as he heard howling. His heart swelled at the sound, and his body unfroze long enough for him to sit up, the blankets falling around his waist as he looked towards the woods with wide eyes. There was a pause in the sound before he heard the howl again, cut short. He found his feet, something pulling him from his nest to the edge of the roof, his eyes trained on the trees below him. The Omega in him screamed to find his Alpha. It made tears spring to his eyes as he howled back, his body moving of its own accord down the steps back into the school. He took off running through the building, heart pounding in his chest. His Alpha was in danger, and needed him. He slowed once he reached the woods, listening for the howl again. It was too quiet. He followed his trail, catching the faint scent of Bakugou. He knew he'd just been here. A quiet howl reached his ears as he took off running again. He could smell the distressed scent of his Alpha now. He needed to find him. And fast. 

***

Bakugou managed to push himself to his house, where the house was dark, his parents still out of town for his mother's conference. He'd cut himself off from howling again as thoughts began to spiral. He wanted to escape the ice, escape his thoughts of Midoriya no matter how hard his Alpha was fighting it. The only way to break a soul bond was for one of the pair to kill themselves, or get killed. At least that was what Bakugou had read into it. He'd never been in pain like this before, but he remembered shutting himself in his room every chance he'd gotten after he'd begun to bully Midoriya. But nothing like this. His body tried to shut down as he locked himself inside, moving to find where the kitchen knives were. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted it all to stop. 

Midoriya followed the scent, and his heart, to Bakugou's house, seeing no movement in the house. He huffed as he climbed the tree beside the house that led to Bakugou's window. He chuckled at himself, having climbed the tree for years when they were kids. They'd snuck in and out of the house. Mainly to avoid Bakugou's mom when he was grounded. The green-haired male calmed himself as he worked his way closer to the window, pushing open the glass silently. Bakugou still didn't lock it after all these years. He kind of figured he would. It'd been a very long time since he'd climbed the tree. 

Pushing aside his thoughts, he climbed inside, landing on Bakugou's bed. The room still faintly smelled of his arousal from his heat. He took a breath, sliding out of his shoes as he padded from the room, following the distressed scent of caramel from the bedroom. The bathroom door was shut, and Midoriya could hear heavy breathing from the other side. Trying the knob, it was locked and Midoriya couldn't stay quiet anymore as he banged on the door, releasing every ounce of pheromones he could. "Kacchan! Please talk to me!" his voice was hoarse as he shook the knob again, trying to break in.

Bakugou froze, the knife lined up on his wrist, though he hadn't broken skin. He felt warm again as the cinnamon scent rose from under the door. He shook his head, biting his lip roughly from howling for the Omega again. "Katsuki. Please. I can't lose you again. I can't do this again. Please" He heard the other beg, tears streaming down both of their faces. 

"I already hurt you once. I think we have a soul bond. You'll be okay if I sever it" He heard himself speak, his voice rough from the howling. He held the knife tighter in his hand, his tears blurring his vision. 

"Katsuki! I won't. I wasn't okay the first time. Please!" Bakugou looked up at the door, his tears freezing. 

"The first time?"

"Yes! When we were twelve. I stopped coming to school. My grades slipped. I had to see a therapist. Don't you remember" Bakugou's mind flashed back to when Midoriya hadn't had his heat. He was so angry that he'd blocked it out. Thought Midoriya was trying to see different doctors as to why he didn't have his heat. He never thought it was some stupid cosmic bond. "Open the damn door!" He slammed his body into it, groaning at the pain from his shoulder and hip, the bruises darkening. "Kacchan!"