(Reqs Closed!) Lupin III x Reader One Shots

Zenigata x Thief!Reader: Bait

--Author's Note: For @BryonyWootton we've got a new Zenigata story! Since most of you came here from one, I'm sure you'll be glad to hear this one has the added bonus of the reader being a thief. Of course, you probably saw that from the title, hehe. Everyone loves a good conflict dynamic, or at least, me and this requester do!--

"Ooh, that's just not fair. I didn't take nothin' this time!"

"That's a double negative," Zenigata said flatly, hardly looking up from whatever he was writing on his desk.

"Like you're any better about that," you huffed. You took in your surroundings briefly, half amused by the cartoonish setup and half annoyed. "What kind of jail actually has a spot for the cop to sit in a desk and gloat in front of an innocent victim like me?!" You clung to the bars hopelessly.

"It's not a jail cell, it's a detention cell." You heard a tiny pinch of humor in his voice. "Big difference."

"And you call us the annoying ones... I'm telling you, I'm innocent for real this time! My conscious is as clear as my pockets right now, I'm being honest!"

"I know that," he rebutted. "You're not in trouble."

You froze, your complaining and whining abruptly halted. "Huh?" The confusion burned away fast. "THEN WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?!"

He finally looked up at you. "Bait."

"BAIT?! BAIT, HE SAYS!! BAI-- What for?" You stared him down distrustfully.

He stood up and sat on the desk, making it much easier to maintain angry eye contact. "Don't act like you don't know. It's your own fault for hanging with the wrong crowd." Oh, so that was what he was referring to.

"Oh. Bait." A little disappointment hit you.

Unfortunately, he seemed to catch it. "W-- Did you want me to arrest you?"

"No." No debate there.

"Then what's with that tone?!"

What WAS with your tone? You knew why, but you wouldn't dare say it to him. Couldn't give him the upper-hand, you know? Not to mention the embarrassment that'd ensue if the others found out. If you never gave it a name, it would never get any stronger, so you just did as everyone else: Make jokes, move on.

"I just... Don't know why you think it'll work." His previously cocky attitude shifted, his brows furrowing as he glared at you. You grinned at the reaction. "I mean, come on."

"Of course it'll work!" he insisted. "Lupin'll come running once he finds out you're with me!"

You mulled over his wording before continuing. "I'm not in any danger."

Zenigata crossed his arms and legs in defense. "Of course not. Whaddya take me for?"

"So why would he come running in? You're not exactly a mustache-twiddling villain tying me to train tracks. If they even bothered coming, they'd probably stop by a place for lunch first. There's no urgency in saving me from a non-threat!"

"B-But..." His logic started to slump along with his shoulders. Quickly, he barked at you again. "He never holds back on bailing Fujiko when I've got her!"

You rolled your eyes. "I wonder why that is."

Zenigata was floundering now. "OF COURSE I KNOW WHY! BUT ISN'T HE... he...?" His expression slowly warped from his usual boisterous anger into a weak attempt at getting you to fill in the blank, awkward and seeming to suffer from secondhand embarrassment.

You looked at him flatly, just as confused. "He?"

Zenigata groaned and smacked his hands on his face. He lowered them just enough to shout again. "ISN'T HE IN LOVE WITH YOU?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, your eyes filled with delight. Had he misread everything that much? Now, after that, there was no way he'd picked up on your little cr-- Uh, interest. You laughed, still gripping those bars, but now more for balance than just to prove a point. "You're kidding! Seriously?"

"W-Why are you laughing... Huh? YES, I'M SERIOUS! Haven't you noticed?" He blurted.

"Noticed WHAT?"

Zenigata went back to the floor to pace as he listed what he thought was irrefutable proof. "He's always looking for excuses to touch you, he keeps an eye out for you all the time, and he's constantly flirting." Once done listing, he turned to you with outstretched arms. "HOW ELSE COULD YOU READ THAT?"

"That's just how he is! Even if he did like me, uh, no offense to him but, no thanks." You laughed, leaving Zenigata completely stunned. "And the last item aside, that doesn't sound too far from YOU, Inspector!"

"WHAT? I--" His face burned up. "NO! NO THAT'S-- IT'S MY JOB!" He was stopping and starting sentences futilely, coming closer as you turned away, mimicking not listening. "I WOULDN'T-- Not that you aren't attractive, but I-- NO!"

He was close enough now that it was easy. In one slick move, barely rustling his coat, you grabbed the two things you needed: the keys, duh, and his favorite object ever, you imagined. On anyone else, maybe they wouldn't have noticed (you'd been taught by the top 4, after all,) but he immediately caught wind. "Oh, don't you dare." He reached through the bar to grab his stolen goods and--

Clink! Clink! He found himself locked to the bars on the opposite side from the door.

You laughed and skipped to the other side of the cell, wrapping your arm around and freeing yourself as a loud cry of, "COME ON!" echoed through the dusty room. You swung the cell door behind you, briefly considering keeping one of the keys as a souvenir.

Once a safe distance, you turned and smiled your biggest grin at him."You need to update the security in here, it's kinda loose. Might I suggest a better guard?"

Zenigata gritted his teeth, nose wrinkled and eyes ablaze. It was almost endearing, if that searing rage wasn't directed at you. On second thought, maybe it was MORE endearing being directed at you. And now, you knew there was more behind it. Similar feelings to the ones you held, and yet, you wanted to keep the game of cat and mouse going. If anything, it made it all the more exciting knowing it. "I'll send you love letters from Rome, alright?"

His face was still red, from anger or embarrassment, but he was already messing with the handcuffs and growling back to you. He said nothing about how you let your next destination slip.  "And I'll show you their best prison!"

"So you're hoping to be there too? I hear they've got really nice beaches, clear water and the lot." You grabbed the nearest policeman hat off its knob on the wall and handled the door. You leaned back to him once you had crossed the door, throwing the hat on. "So, it's a date! Bye!"

You sprinted off, giggling as you could hear the fading shouts behind you. Boy, what a keeper, right?