Please Call Me Yours(Trixya)

Chapter 16:Black And Blue Heart

Katya's POV

"Katya?" I was putting my dress for prom in my closet when I heard my dad calling my name.

"In my room dad." My dad opened my door and cleared his throat.

"May I come in?"

"Sure. What's up?" My dad sat on my bed as he looked at me.

"You and your mother still aren't talking?"

"I don't have anything to really say and I doubt she does. She said what she had to say last night at dinner." I replayed the screaming match that my mom and I had over dinner. It all started when my dad asked to see my dress. I was excited to show him, little did I know that my mother was still on her 'Trixie isn't good for my daughter' tangent. In the end, she was fuming, my point was the same and my baked potato was cold. I grabbed my dress and went to my room. No one had bothered me, I didn't leave for breakfast and now my dad was sitting on my bed. "I know you are probably on her side dad, but please spare me."

"I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"I'm not on her side as you say. How you live your life is up to you. I can't tell you how to handle storms that come your way. All I can do is point you into the direction of the safe house and if you decide to go the other way, it must be for a good reason. I have faith in you, you are smart. Just because you like to think with your heart doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. I have watched you grow up and I am proud of it. Yekaterina, you know yourself and you know your heart. But I do have to ask, how are you feeling about it? I know that love can hurt and I also know that you cover your pain with laughs and jokes. I want to know, how you actually are doing."

"I'm..good. I'm back home, with my friends and..that's good."

"Okay so not good at all, got it."

"Dad, I thought I was doing the right thing by coming back. I didn't want to run anymore."

"Then don't run."

"I'm not, I'm here so how am I running?"

"Okay since you aren't running, how are you?"

"I said I'm good."

"I thought you weren't running."

"Dad..how.."

"Katya, like I said you cover your pain. I also said that I've watched you grow." My dad chuckled as he stood up and walked to my desk. He picked up a photo that him and I took when I was 6. "I remember the day we took this picture. You know you had cried all day that day."

"I did?"

"Sure did."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't want to wear a dress."

"What?"

"Your mother was trying to get you to wear some pink dress she had bought for you. You and her have never seen eye to eye. But anyway you wanted to play but you couldn't because you had that dress on. I remember I came home from work and your mother told me that you were crying. I came to find you, hiding under the kitchen table. When you heard me call your name, you jumped out with a smile. We spent the whole day playing inside. Not once did I see that smile leave your face. Your mother left to get something from the store and I asked you if you were happy. You nodded and said you were, so I asked again. You broke down, told me how much you hated that dress and that you wanted to play outside. You said you wanted it off so I let you change and we went outside to play. It had rained so there were mud pubbles everywhere." My dad walked to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Yekaterina, I know you try to protect the people you love. You don't want them to deal with your hurt and pain but sometimes if you love them, you have to show them."

"But why?"

"So, they have help you. Some people have the tools to help you fix something that you just can't. Carrying around the pain doesn't make anyone happy. I'm sure that if Trixie knew how hurt you were, then she wouldn't be happy."

"But dad..I don't want to tell her. How can I tell her that just being her friend hurts me? How can I say that I want, no that I need more? She may not have loved Milk but I loved her and it hurt so bad knowing that she was his. My heart is..it's broken. It has been stomped on by pink pumps and she didn't even know it. It's black and blue and I just want the bruises to go away. There's a pain in my chest when I see her, when I hear her voice, when she touches my arm or anything." I met my dad's eyes, tears blurring my vision. "I love her." I hid my face in my dad's chest, crying and feeling the weight of the world just be lifted.

"Katya, loving her isn't bad."

"I feel like it is."

"Because you aren't just feeling that love. You are feeling hurt, anger, regret and every other emotion. Your heart is carrying so much. You have been running from those emotions but they are like chains, holding you down. Trust me, you will be better once you let it all go." My dad pulled me back a little and looked in my eyes. "You can be okay again, you can be happy."

"Thank you dad."

"All the thanks I need will come from seeing you happy again. I know it will be hard to say but things between you and Trixie will be better once both of you have said what you have been holding onto."

"You are the best dad."

"Well, I have to be the best for my daughter."