Cold comfort

έχθρα

A part of me misses you
Misses the connection we had to each other and the world
Misses the safe space I had found in you and the piece of my heart that disintegrated when you left
But a part of me hates you
Hates you for leaving me when you promised me a million times you wouldn't
Hates that you were exactly like everyone else even when you made me believe you weren't
Hates you for making me question everyone's intentions
Hates myself for not hating you
Because even after everything you broke in me
I still find ways to find the good in you
A broken girl with a broken mind
Unable to satisfy the void in your soul
You take and take and give what you little you have left
A cycle you so desperately want to break free from
But one that your heart makes you believe is okay
You claimed to love me, unconditionally
But when you saw my baggage and how truly broken I was
You fled
Told yourself it was for the best
I remember you said god sent you someone as broken as yourself to help you understand
But then you contradicted yourself and said that two broken people couldn't be together
You made me feel beautiful and perfect
Had everything I wanted dangling right in front of me
And right when I thought I had it in my grasp you ripped it away from me
So I don't hate you
I just do desperately want to understand how someone so broken
Could still find a way to break me
So what if I miss you
I hate myself even more.