Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader

1 ~ Waiting

You stared at seonghwa intensely, he was standing a few feet away from you as a petite girl was blushing in front of him while she shyly moved her feet.

Another confession.

You were used to this, ever since you and seonghwa had entered high school he was swarmed by girls who had confessed to him. Even now being in your second year of college he still continued to be chased after by many girls. 

You watched the scene in front of you as seonghwa smiled brightly and then spoke, you couldn't hear him since you were standing a few feet away but you saw the petite girl frown while seonghwa waved to her as he walked away. 

You could tell from the girls frown that he rejected her, but of course he rejected her nicely, just like he always did. You had seen many girls get rejected, but you still felt your heart hurt knowing one thing...the reason he was rejecting her was not because of you. 

Yes, you had fallen for seonghwa exactly three years ago during your last year of high school. You had assumed he would catch on to your feelings as time passed but apparently he never did. 

Or he simply didn't return your feelings, that was something that you tried not to think about though. You didn't think your heart could handle the pain of a clear rejection from him, which is exactly why even after three years you refused to tell seonghwa how you felt. Also, currently something else was stopping you.

"I feel bad about turning that girl down but I only have eyes for yeonsoo" you felt your heart constrict while seonghwa had quickly walked over to you as you stood waiting for him. 

You were always waiting for him.

"yeah, right" you said softly while forcing a smile. 

Min Yeonsoo. The girl that seonghwa is currently trying to confess to, his 'ideal type'

You really wanted to roll your eyes knowing how cliche your life was right now. You were the childhood best friend that was in a one sided love and he just so happened to love someone else. 

But this was different. 

You would not help him blindly, you would not do anything to bring yourself unnecessary heartache. You simply knew that you would wait, that was all you could do. Wait for him to maybe one day return your feelings.

"well, should we head back home" seonghwa asked while you gave a gentle smile "sure"

You both walked down the street and you smiled as seonghwa told you about his day. You of course listened closely making sure you took in every detail. You had no idea when it started but one day after your heart started racing seeing seonghwa you realized you started to listen to every detail about his day closely.

It wasn't like you didn't listen to him before, you actually heard many times from others that you were a great listener. It was just that you suddenly found yourself wanting to make sure seonghwas voice never wavered to indicate he was sad. You just wanted to make sure he was happy. 

You suppose that was what love does to someone.

You always want the person to be happy. 

"should we go grocery shopping soon" seonghwa asked while you thought

"I suppose, we are out of your favorite cereal" you replied while you two continued walking down the street. 

You had known the day you agreed to share rent with seonghwa was a mistake. It was a big mistake that you made without thinking. But what could you say when seonghwa was practically begging you. 

You were always weak when it came to him. 

So you had agreed to share an apartment with him when you two first started college despite your gut feeling telling you to stay as far away from him as possible to prevent your feelings from growing. It was difficult at first seeing the person you loved every single day walking around the same place you lived in.

However, sometimes you think it may have helped because now you felt like it was easier to see people confess to seonghwa or to see him when he always awkwardly played with his selves as he talked to yeonsoo with a blush on his face. 

Yes, it was easier, it was much easier. 

But that didn't mean it hurt any less, no, you just got used to the searing pain in your heart as it constricted. Especially, when he talked to yeonsoo, that pain was another level, almost like you truly felt like someone was stabbing you over and over in the heart. 

Sometimes you wondered why you let yourself stay. 

Why you always stayed by his side, always waiting. 

"well I guess we have to go shopping then" seonghwas words brought you away from your thoughts and you forced a smiled "yeah, I guess so"

Your feet scrapped against the pavement as you lazily walked beside him. 

You kept stealing glaces at him and each time a tug pulled at your heart, a feeling of warmth overwhelmed you seeing his smile as he talked.

Right, that was why you stayed. You were just a love struck idiot who simply didn't know how to walk away. 

But you could deal with the pain in your heart, you had for years so you could always continue for a few more. Then maybe one day your feelings could fade and you could finally be free from the ache in your heart.

From the constant pain. 

You stared at seonghwas as you two walked and a genuine smile formed on your face when he laughed as he talked about a random event that happened to him earlier in the day. As long as he was happy you would be happy too.

You sighed as you stared at the setting sun in the city sky. 

A bitter sweet feeling rushed over you as you two walked. Your mind may have known that simply staying by seonghwa's side like this was a bad decision. However, your heart would not change. It was always pulling you to seonghwa, always pulling you to stay by his side. 

You knew, you would always be waiting for him because you loved him.