Hongjoong couldn't help it.
Even thought he knew y/n loved seonghwa, even though he knew she was waiting for him again, he couldn't move. He just stood there for a few moments as he tried to process everything.
"hongjoong, are you okay" the soft tone of y/n's voice made hongjoong snap out of this thoughts as he looked up at her. He could easily see how her eyes held a concerned expression and he knew it was because she was worried about him.
Hongjoong he didn't really feel anything, like the emotions had yet to take over. However, he also knew that no matter how hard he tried y/n's heart belonged to seonghwa. So, before the emotions he was bound to feel set in he smiled slightly "yeah, I'm fine. Well, I guess I should go then"
Hongjoong turned to leave but y/n's rushed voice stopped him from walking away "wait hongjoong, your jacket. The one you lent me a while ago, when should I give it back to you" y/n asked and hongjoong was surprised as he almost forgot about the jacket he had given y/n that first time he had seen her at that party.
"just give it back some other time" hongjoong said simply as he waved his hand and he turned to walk away, he had given up, it was a partly selfish decision because he didn't think his heart could take seeing y/n when he knew she loved someone else, someone that wasn't him.
He hoped that his jacket wouldn't come back to him, he wasn't ready to see it, to relive the first time he had met her. Despite how weird it was it felt like the jacket held his emotions and he hoped his heart could heal from the heartbreak first, then maybe he could accept the jacket when he is ready.
He knew that it was extreme to describe the way he felt for y/n as love, but he sure came as close to it as he could over the past couple of weeks, but he had to give up after he saw the look in her eyes.
Hongjoong scuffed his shoes on the ground as he walked away then just like the most cheesy thing he could do he turned back to look at y/n once more, then his heart finally ached.
The small white flakes of snow that fell from the sky landed softly on the ground as y/n looked up at the bright lights with a small smile on her face and hongjoong couldn't begin to describe how he felt. His heart was beating rapidly as he thought she looked beautiful but at the same time it constricted in pain as he knew she didn't feel way he did
Hongjoong sighed as turned to leave and he smiled sadly as softly spoke aloud "yeah...as close to love as possible"
As he walked down the street he saw the snow falling to the ground and he glanced at the night sky. He held in his anger, his sadness, and his heartbreak.
But as hongjoong passed by y/n's apartment he froze seeing who was waiting outside looking down the street as if he was watching for someone
Seonghwa
His eyes met hongjoong's and hongjoong walked over "why are you outside" hongjoong asked but deep down he knew why.
"I'm waiting for y/n. I checked in the apartment but she wasn't there" then something in hongjoong snapped, the anger he held in spilled out as he screamed "so now you're waiting. NOW"
Seonghwas eyes widened while hongjoong glared at him and continued to let out his frustrations "do you even know how long she's been waiting, how much she waited for you. She was even willing to wait by your side...even if her heart was breaking"
The sadness seemed to set in as hongjoong teared up and he stepped back trying to calm down as his voice cracked while he spoke "she was just waiting there for you, always. Why couldn't she just be waiting...for me" hongjoong finally let out his tears as the heartbreak was overwhelming and only one thought kept replaying in his mind
Why couldn't she just wait for him, just once. He would never let her get away like seonghwa did.
"you're late seonghwa, people can only wait for so long" hongjoong spat out bitterly, but as he looked up he froze. There he saw seonghwa was crying as well as he sobbed softly.
Hongjoong sighed as he thought about y/n, the way she smiled so brightly at the lights in front of her and he knew she was still there waiting for seonghwa.
He sighed as he spoke out "I can't believe I'm saying this, the trees with the lights around them, I'm guessing they mean something considering the way she looked at them. She is waiting for you there seonghwa, now don't make her wait any longer"
Hongjoong had no idea why he told seonghwa, he knew he could have kept it to himself. But then he thought about what y/n said to him, that time his heart first started racing.
"that's the thing, I just want him to be happy, every piece of me just wants to see him smiling, wants to see him laugh. I can't find it in me to be selfish because I truly only wish for his happiness. I guess that what love does to you, it makes you disregard your own aching and shattering heart just to make sure the other person is smiling and happy. I just want seonghwa to be happy...because I love him"
Hongjoongs watched as seonghwa's eyes widen in realization and he ran down the dark streets
The falling snow attempted to comfort hongjoong as he stood there alone and even thought his heart still ached a small smile formed on his face as realized his feelings for y/n was definitely the closest thing to love...because all he wanted was for y/n to be happy, that was why he told seonghwa
Seonghwa raced down the dark street as his heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. When he heard what hongjoong said he had come to a realization, y/n was truly always waiting for him and he knew exactly where she was waiting this time
"hey y/n...the lights, you want to see them together when they turn them on"
"sure hwa, I would really like that. I'll wait for you then"
His heart pumped harder as he finally came to a stop.
There she was, a few feet in front of him. There was a bright smile on her face as she looked up at the lights wrapped around the trees
She was still waiting for him... but seonghwa had never noticed what that meant until now. Y/n was always waiting for seonghwa to return her feelings, why didn't he notice how she always waiting for him even if it hurt her.
His eyes watered as his heart clenched in pain seeing her in the cold waiting for him again and finally he called her name
"y/n"
YOU ARE READING
Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader
Teen Fictionateez college au| Y/n was always by seonghwas side, it made sense since she was his best friend. However, she was always waiting by his side for other reasons than just being a good friend...she was always waiting and hoping that some day he would r...
