Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader

18 ~ Smile

Hongjoong had thought about y/n a lot since they first met, the drunk girl who had suddenly cried in front of him about her love life. He even remembered the words she spoke to him that night

"there is nothing good about buying a new outfit that you think will make people look at you differently, that maybe they would look at you in the way you wanted, as more than a friend. There is nothing good about being pushed to the side over and over again having to wait...there is nothing good about parties"

He wasn't an idiot, he knew that she was crying over a guy and not the loud party they were at. He always wondered who she was waiting for...and if he would ever get his jacket back.

Then there she was...

She stood in front of him at the doorway of the cabin, y/n. The exact same girl, hongjoong was surprised she was yunho's friend and as he looked at yunho, san, and seonghwa he couldn't help but wonder if one of these guys was the one she cried about that night at the party.

Later at the party hongjoong watched as she faded away as san made her get a drink. Hongjoong found himself spending the night talking with a few new people but mostly he spent it hanging out with yeosang and jongho. 

However, as the hours passed hongjoong hated the heat. The bodies crowded together was getting to him, he didn't hate parties but he didn't love them either. Wooyoung and mingi were more of the party type while yeosang, him, and jongho were simply just okay with going.

Hongjoong soon went to the bathroom and when he finished he walked out about to go back to the party, but he froze as soon as he walked out. He saw one of yunhos friends, seonghwa... and he was kissing a girl. 

Hongjoong had no idea how he just had to walk out of the bathroom at this time. He found himself awkwardly trying to look away from the couple so he glanced up and passed them...then he saw the two

Y/n stood at the top of the stairs beside san, and slowly the couple looked towards the two as well. Hongjoong knew the others were talking but he didn't even pay attention to what anyone was saying, instead he watched as y/n smiled brightly, but for some reason hongjoong felt his heart hurt slightly as he saw the smile form... it seemed so forced and fake. 

Y/n spoke some words that hongjoong didn't bother listening to again, instead he watched as her smile fell and she covered her eyes. He could hear the playful tone in her voice acting as if she was joking...acting as if she was alright. Then she turned around and hongjoong payed attention to the words she said next because it hit him like a brick to the face

"I should go before I throw up. I'll wait for you back at the cabin" she said it and the moment she did hongjoongs mind replayed the one word

wait

That was it, everything fell into place. The fake smiles, the hurt expression...seonghwa, it was him, he was the one y/n was crying about the first time they met. 

Hongjoong found himself running passed the couple and after y/n. He went down the stairs quickly and his eyes darted around as he looked for her.

He saw y/n rushing out of the cabin so he pushed through the crowded living room to follow her. He made it to the front door and opened it quickly as he looked around outside but he couldn't see y/n anywhere

Hongjoong knew y/n probably went back to the cabin so he ran across the bumpy sand, then he saw her standing at the front door.

Hongjoong chuckled seeing her kick the door, yunho had the key so it was locked. But soon his smile fell when he watched as she started crying, then she sat at the top of the stairs and sobbed. Hongjoong felt his heart clench as he found himself walking over to the heartbroken girl to try to comfort her.

Hongjoong honestly had no idea why he had run after y/n so quickly, but deep down he knew it was because it broke his heart to see the fake smile she had to force. Ever since they first met hongjoong always thought about what y/n had said that night, about waiting all the time. He never understood why she was waiting for seonghwa when it was hurting her. 

Even as the two talked while sitting on the small staircase hongjoong was still confused, and finally he just blurted out the question he had wanted to ask since the moment he met y/n "why...why do you have to wait for him. He doesn't even seem to notice how you wait for him, why are you hurting yourself"

"it's weird you know, for some reason I just know that I should just keep my mouth shut rather than trying to make things complicating" y/n replied with a soft tone

Hongjoong then found himself blurting out more words "well can't you just be selfish for once" he asked while y/n looked up at him with a small smile

"that's the thing, I just want him to be happy, every piece of me just wants to see him smiling, wants to see him laugh. I can't find it in me to be selfish because I truly only wish for his happiness. I guess that's what love does to you, it makes you push aside your own aching and shattering heart just to make sure the other person is smiling and happy" hongjoong watched as y/n turned to him and she continued 

"I just want seonghwa to be happy...because I love him"

That smile...the bright genuine smile as the tears streamed down her face. His heart shattered, but also it was beating faster while he watched as y/n wiped away her tears as she continued the bright smile

"he doesn't deserve you, you truly are an amazing person y/n" hongjoong spoke out meaning every word as his heart beat was rapid and loud while she smiled at him. That smile, it was truly beautiful

"we should walk faster I want to rest" hongjoong heard the distant voices of his friends, then without thinking he took off his jacket and placed it over y/n's head covering her face as the others arrived

"oh, what are you two doing out here" yunho asked while his eyebrows raised in confusion seeing y/n sitting beside hongjoong with a jacket covering her head. 

Hongjoong looked up at the others and quickly replied "n-nothing" then he grabbed y/n's wrist and he pulled her closer to him as yunho unlocked the door and everyone walked passed them into the cabin.

But once everyone was inside he heard a soft voice "so are you going to take this off so I can see" y/n laughed while hongjoong couldn't help but smile hearing her laughing. He reached for the jacket covering her head and he took it off seeing a smiling y/n underneath

"I-I didn't want them to see your red eyes, they would know you were crying" hongjoong said while y/n smiled at him "thanks, let's go inside" 

He followed inside while his heart raced, yes, her eyes were red and puffy from crying but another part of him threw the jacket over her because... he wanted to keep the bright smile she showed him to himself.