Missing Pieces of Me

13 Cringe Aftershock

Blanche

I feel around, looking for my phone with only my arm moving, hoping that I can still go back to sleep once I shut it up. It was my three am alarm and I still have two more hours to waste before I need to prepare to go to scho- wait. I don't even have school today. They freaking cancelled it.

I woke up for nothing. I can still feel my head throb from my fever. It's still there. I check my phone to check if it was time to drink my medicine again. Still four more hours until I need to drink. Damn, why did my alarm have to go off and interrupt a perfectly good dream?

I silently curse to myself words that you would not want to hear coming from my mouth. Alex was getting sentimental with his story and I didn't get a chance to reply. Since I still don't have the ability to move freely without making my body ache and I don't need to eat breakfast yet, I try to recall my dreams and, hopefully, continue on where I left off.

I remember thinking about how I wanted the sky to look like; how I really like the feel of the cool breeze as I watch the stars flicker in a satisfying pattern; how the water just reaches my feet but doesn't completely make me wet and irritated; and the thrill of overlooking the horizon by the edge of a cliff.

Everything was perfect except for the fact that the view is nothing if no one else can see it. UP left to attend to the new dead person and go through the same topic she had with me to this one. UP said that it was just for formalities since most people choose to go to their new lives but as UP said, "You'll never know."

For the first time since I got here, I try to duplicate a person. The only person I really know other than my parents is Lexy since I've been friends with the longest and we've been very close. I try visualizing him starting from how I see him; his messed up hair which he doesn't seem to put too much attention since it's always ruffled, like he just woke up; his tired-looking eyes; his fair complexion as opposed to my extreme pale skin; his wide and infectious smile; and his cute bunny teeth.

After creating an image of him, I try to incorporate his mannerisms to this dream clone; the way he pats my head when I'm upset; from the way his nose scrunches up whenever he smiles or teases me; to the way his eye just form crescent lines; how his voice is soothingly sweet yet comes out as whiny sometimes.

I just stare at his clone, being meticulous for any small detail that seems off but I couldn't find any but this still doesn't seem like my Alex. I look at his eyes and even try to make him talk but he still feels empty. I decide that this is the best I can do for now so I just have to be contented with it.

It felt awkward at first, talking to a person you just cloned but you get used to it after a few minutes. I couldn't think of anything to say at first so I just started saying words until I form entire sentences and finally, a clear train of thought.

"Lexy, can you help me make a decision? I really want to stay here. I don't need to worry about anything ever again. I can't believe I just cloned you. You look the same but you're not. There's something I can't quite pinpoint yet. Maybe I'll ask UP after the alone time. I wish the real you were here but you're only just a dummy now," I say as I make you nod and look interested in the conversation. This is a new low for my reputation.

Look at the wonderful things I made, maybe you're the only thing missing here. I need someone to talk to that knows me in person; the only person who never left when everyone was moving on to newer friendships."

From that moment, I froze when he actually replied back. I stood and tried to process everything that was happening at that moment, how the hell was he able to do that? Or is it still me? My thought process ends and I decide to take action. I stood up from my bed, open the lights and do a few stretches to wake my body up, just to make my blood flow. I check my reflection in a nearby mirror and walk to the door, opening it slowly; the creaks were very noticeable now that I seem to be the only person awake.