Missing Pieces of Me

19 Well, Okay.

Blanche

Pint after pint I drank it all. Soon we were all singing along to the music and enjoying what could be the best night of my life. After drinking all of those, I feel all the worries slowly lift away as if I'm comforted by a very boozy blanket that brought warm to both my heart and my stomach.

At one in the morning, we decided, more like Alex decided, to head home. We were to go back to our apartment since Carrie and Bruce's are too far away and it's not safe for them to walk on their own.

"Just one more shot... or five," I said and giggled. Everything seems so funny now. I can still walk alright and do complex equations but I just can't stop laughing. It's like the world was telling me a never ending series of jokes which I can't even hear but am forced to laugh at.

We reached the door with me almost dragging Carrie's nearly unconscious body. Alex seems still of sound mind as he supported Bruce who was laughing with me. Alex opened the door and we practically all collapsed. I managed to put Carrie on an extra mattress in my room then helped Alex put Bruce on the couch. Both seemed to have fallen asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

I, on the other hand, feel the sober thoughts come back up. Alex and I were the only people awake in that apartment. I couldn't help myself but bring up what happened. We were sitting by the counter when I asked him.

"Alex, are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you? I thought you were mad at me," he responded.

"The dream, you said in my- our- dream..."

I feel tears trickle down my cheeks. I couldn't hide it anymore. I told him the story, how I managed to create a copy of him in the dream world, how he spoke with me in a different yet familiar way, how he told me how the world crumbled when I woke up and how he jumped to his death.

"Blanche that's what it was; only a dream. I have no control of that," he smiled, that gentle smile that gave me comfort.

"It seemed real. It was like a series I watched every night but now, I couldn't even talk to you when I fell asleep again. It said it was your unconscious or something."

"Don't worry. You'll patch things up. If you don't, I'm here for you and real me is better than dream me, okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight," I replied then gave him what may be a little long hug. He pat my back and said "Goodnight" too.

The thing about these dreams is you won't know how much time really passes. I know it's been only a day since my last communication with Dream Alex but I can't help but think that every dream we don't meet is a dream wasted and we get farther apart from each other. What's worse is that my powers are slowly deteriorating and the chance for us meeting again is getting slimmer rapidly. I wouldn't have a chance to apologize or make a friend out of him.

I went back to my room to get my towel and took a quick shower. I turned on the shower and feel the cold water against my skin. It gives a feeling of freshness, away from the smell and burn from the alcohol I've been drinking.

I'm back to square one again. The thing I've been avoiding the whole time I'm back is haunting me as I am left to my own thoughts. This time, they're spinning and more blurry. I try to shut it all out as I stand there and feel the water trickling down from my head to my feet.

Soon, I feel chilly and turned it off. I changed into my pajamas and sat on the bed. I did my night routine mindlessly; trying to avoid the topic as long as possible.

I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I can't help but compare to the one I'm used to in the dream world where the stars are in a certain order, random yet exactly where and how I wanted them to look.

I close my eyes, now feeling the repercussions of too much drinking, and feel a little bit dizzy. I push my thoughts for another day, today has been a somewhat pleasant one and shouldn't be ruined as much as possible.

Alex

Looks like Blanche was really bummed out about the dream she keeps mentioning. Maybe that's what you get for being attached to dreams. I can't help but be relieved at the fact that I couldn't remember my dreams but I do admit that I feel jealous because I want to know what it feels like to control something, to be your own god in your own make-believe world.

I watch her stand up and say goodnight. She took quite a long time on her hug, maybe I'm just imagining or it's the alcohol and I let it be. When she went inside her room, I headed for mine too. I decide to just change my clothes since I'm too tired to do anything but lie down. I let myself fall on my bed and as quickly as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep.

Okay, I'm back in the void and ready to practice again. Since my last visit, I've been so eager to try again. I wanted to just stay here but nooo, I was supposed to wake up because it's 'bad for me'. I was all over the place with excitement. Even with just a void, I was already planning on how things should be. I managed to calm myself down and started small again.

I tried and tried again but nothing was happening again. Here I was bursting with energy yet none of my efforts are being productive. I was about to start again until I felt another presence with me.

"UP!" I exclaimed.

"Look who's back."

"Yeah I know. How could I resist? It's like I've just been handed the opportunity I've always wanted since I first heard of this place."

"Looks like you aren't even doing anything with that opportunity yet," UP said while waving a hand around to show the empty space waiting to be created into something great.

"You know I just got these. I still don't know what to do to do it."

"You know, you can just accept my offer already so I can start teaching you?"

"But why can't you teach me now? You did it for Blanche, why not me?" I said, traces of jealousy found in my voice. I try to hide it but I couldn't. UP just looked at me calmly.

"Because, unlike Blanche, your conscious and unconscious self are unaware of each other. I'm just assuming your conscious self doesn't know about you since I'm using Blanche's statements on the matter and you don't know anything about your conscious self. If you do accept my offer and take my place in this world, both your unconscious and conscious self will be as one. Don't know how that will affect you and I'm too lazy to teach you complex things twice."

"If you really want to learn, then you should accept my offer. Do you or do you not want to stay here for an eternity or just until you can find someone to replace your place?"

I stood there as UP gave a lecture. I thought about it for a moment. I don't think my conscious self would mind. I mean, the unconscious one usually is where all the hidden desires live right? If I follow myself, then I'd have all my dreams come true.

"Now is the perfect time to make a decision since I feel that your body is weaker in the real world. Your transition from there to here will be much easier but the decision is still yours."

"I got nothing else to lose then, do I?"

"I need an exact answer."

"Okay."