Missing Pieces of Me

20 Polar Opposites

Blanche

I woke up to an extreme hangover. I feel my head pulsating and my vision still spinning. Just how much alcohol did I drink last night? I open my phone. The battery is dying and I quickly powered through the dizziness and looked for my charger.

I forgot that Carrie was in the room with me and her unconscious body almost tripped me. It took me a few minutes until I realized that it was in the drawer near my bed. I plug my phone charger to a nearby socket and charged my phone.

My veins were still surging with adrenaline from searching for my charger and debated whether I should wake up completely or wait a few more minutes. I grab my phone and check the time. It's only five o'clock in the morning. It's still too early to wake up. I lie on my bed and stay still, staring at my phone as the indication that it is charging lights up the dark room.

I didn't have dreams again last night which may have been a relief since I wouldn't want to be anxious while sleeping and extremely tired when I'm awake, especially from the previous activity.

I'm worried about dream Alex though. He may not really have an influence over Alex's real life choices but what if he does something during his subconscious time? No. He wouldn't possibly do something like that. I trust Alex has good judgment and if he says that there is no problem, there isn't.

I open my phone to check the pictures I took of the night before. I had a few pictures of Carrie dancing to a song in the bar, it was a catchy one since we were singing every line but I can't remember the title. Maybe I'll ask them later when we're all woken up.

The next were a few of me and Carrie by the bar, I think Bruce took this one, since it's a little blurred. The next picture was a much better version, which I guess was taken by Alex.

The next few pictures were Bruce and I when we took the orders, I remember asking Carrie to send me this photo since she took it on her phone. It was a picture of us laughing. I didn't look as weird as I thought. The next was a selfie of Bruce and I trying to do a wacky post. We really looked drunk since our faces were tinted red.

A few pictures of Bruce and Carrie singing in karaoke together made me laugh to myself since I remember joking that it was because of that performance that we were almost thrown out and that half of the people left. I swiped to the next picture because I kind of know what's next.

I stifled a giggle when I saw the next picture. It was a selfie I took with Alex with our faces looking embarrassed at the two performing.

I scrolled at the next picture and saw that it was still a photo of the two of us but this time, my arm was draped over his shoulder and we were both having a good time.

The drinks really did help me loosen up and stop thinking about the dreams even for just a moment. I stare at how this picture seems perfect and I just want to make everything stay like this, like a frozen moment in time.

The sad thing is time really doesn't work that way. It doesn't freeze, even if you really want to. You either enjoy the moment as much as you can before it fades away or you stay trapped in that memory and unable to enjoy the new ones that were supposed to come.

Maybe this may also be applied to the dream world. I shouldn't have ventured in it the first place. I should stop going and live. I should dedicate my whole life to the present because, technically, I may have another chance at the dream life but I'll never have another chance to live in this dimension, with all of these people.

I check my phone again and notice that I've been awake for two hours now. I still haven't felt any movement in the apartment but I hear my stomach growl which forced me to decide that I need to eat. I check myself at the mirror since there are guests present. I decide to just walk around in my pajamas since this is my home and I'm too tired to change into casual clothes. It's too early for that sh*t.

I creep into the kitchen and open the lights. I scan the boxes on the cabinets for something to eat and decide to make pancakes since it's the easiest to do. I prepare the ingredients and then mix the batter. I also boiled water because I want to make tea. I was heating the pan when someone cleared their throat from the doorway behind me.

I turned around swiftly, expecting Alex, when I saw Bruce still groggy eyed from last night. I remember him being more drunk than I was.

"I was about to make pancakes for everyone. How many do you want?"

"Maybe just two. Do you have coffee too? My head still spins around."

"Yeah. I'm just boiling water. Just get us mugs there." I pointed to the container for mugs beside him. He grabbed two and set it on the table between us. I grabbed the instant coffee and poured the water into his mug and mine then put the tea bag in mine. Silence envelops the room broken only by the occasional sips of coffee or tea and flipping of pancakes.

After making pancakes, Bruce grabbed plates for each of us and set it in front of the television since it's the closest to a dining table that Alex and I had. I put the pancakes in a serving platter and grabbed the syrup and butter in the fridge. I grab my tea to with a glass of water.

I was supposed to wake Carrie up while Bruce woke Alex. I went back inside my room and see Carrie still sleeping. I open the lights in hopes that the brightness will be enough to wake her up but I failed. I tried my second best approach to waking up a person.

I poked her until she woke up, "Carrie. Carrie. Carrie. Carrie..."

"What?" she managed to reply. Success.

"I made pancakes. Time for break-" I was cut off by Bruce's frantic screaming.

"Blanche call a hospital or a cab. Alex isn't responding!"

I felt chills run down my spine. No. This couldn't happen. I acted fast. Luckily, it made Carrie wake up and quickly grab her phone and started to dial a number.

"I'm on it. Check up on him," she told me and followed me to Alex's room.

"Do you know CPR?" Bruce asked me when I entered the room.

"Yes. Quickly, help me put him on the floor," I managed to say through the shock of Alex's unconscious body lying. He still looked peaceful, unlike those around him right now. I try remembering what the instructors taught us when I learned this years ago.

I watch for signs of breathing, no matter how small. When I couldn't find any, I checked his pulse. There seems to be a faint one but I'm not quite sure since my hands were trembling. I put my ears close to his chest for a heartbeat. Nothing.

I can hear Carrie trying to describe the situation but I'm too focused on doing this to understand the words. I started the chest compressions again and again. I breathed air into his mouth then returned to chest compressions. Nothing. I check his pulse again, nothing.

It all seemed like a blur that my mind seemed to fail when I saw the paramedics through the door. All I remember was stepping away for them to do their jobs and them telling me that he's dead.