angst
the nervousness in her gut sickened her. she felt uneasy and could hardly breathe as she glanced around. the glass flew as fast as galloping horses. the blade shot pain through her body like an accelerated bullet. her breath hitched, she doubted it at first but the pain soaring through her body made her think otherwise. her useless and immobile body locked onto the floor, plummeting to the ground like a whirlwind. she felt like she couldn't achieve anything, that she had disappointed tomura. she couldn't help but feel like an unavailing, pathetic and miserable excuse for a villain. her hands shook as she dialled his number, knowing she won't survive this, it was inevitable. the wait drove her crazy, putting her on edge, but she had to do this. he was too far away to get to her, kurogiri was away right now so this is all she could do. she hesitated, almost holding her breath at the sound of his raspy voice.
"what?" the gravelly and flat voice on the other side asked. she felt relieved at the sound of his voice, it was the only thing that could make her feel tranquil, undisturbed and at peace, the only thing that could assist her whilst she felt panicked, disquieted or pressured.
"hey." she said, in the most undisturbed and the least distressed tone she could put on. she could almost hear the reassurance and ease in his voice when he spoke again.
"how's everything going?" his more soft voice said, now knowing who had called him. she gulped thickly, inhaling. she bit her lip, trying to stop a whimper from escaping her lips. red salty liquid fell from her mouth, droplets of blood sinking into the ground like rain.
"it's all fine." she said, barely above a whisper, loud enough for him to hear. she heard him sigh in relief, she could tell when he was smiling and this time was now. a tear dived downwards, zigzagging it's way down her cheek to mix with the blood on the floor. the idea of him smiling made her feel crestfallen and regretful, the everlasting stinging sensation of not being able to see him smile struck her like lightening. the day she saw him smile was the moment she had been blessed, she could look at that expression for years on end, not boring her in any shape or form. it was a precious moment in time she wanted to keep in her heart forever.
"when will you be returning?" he asked, completely unaware of the agony and stinging discomfort gushing throughout her entire body. waves of disconsolate feelings and remorse hit her like a train. never. is what she wanted to say, but she couldn't find her voice. she couldn't do it, she couldn't break what left of his heart he had. she smiled dishearteningly, not like he could see it.
"soon." she responded, the glass went further in her stomach as she spoke. she had to mute the call to cry out in torment, her eyes closing as she shrieked in pure misery. blood spilled out of her mouth as she bawled and screamed at the throbbing pain coming from her stomach. she choked out the blood, her hands so frail that they weren't able to wipe the blood descending down her mouth.
she unmuted the call, before he could speak again she briskly breathed out huskily and hoarsely.
"you know i love you, right?" she mumbled, softly spoken. he gasped slightly at the change in her voice, he took a second to compose himself, inhaling and then exhaling.
her heart fell, she clenched onto her phone as it was her last resort. she didn't want help. she just wanted his love.
"what are you trying to say?" he asked, concern and agitation creeping up in his voice, "you aren't acting like yourself. stop it."
she furrowed her brows in a sympathetic way, his tone making her feel nervous and consolation for him.
"i'm sorry." she replied, not missing a chance. the stabbing feeling at her stomach told her it was nearly time for her to leave.
"why are you sorry? what are you trying to say?" he asked, his tone trailing off to a more frantic and apprehensive way.
"i'm never going to return." she said, "before you speak, please, let me tell you i love you." she paused, she could hear his breath hitch on the other side of the device, a few rustles on the other side as she silently sobbed.
"tomura shigaraki i love you." she said, "this is a goodbye."
"stop it, no it isn't, (y/n)." he replied, no hesitation, "stay with me, just a few more minutes until i get there."
"you don't need me anymore." she said, her voice fragile like glass. tears streaking down her cheeks.
"i do need you, (y/n), hold on to your life." he pleaded, "for me— please."
with no answer he spoke again.
"(y/n)." he said, she could hear the desperation and plead in his voice, "don't leave me, please."
she could hear him sob, "my time is coming to an end."
"stop that— don't say that." he said, "don't say that like you're going to die because you're not going to."
her lips curled into a heartbroken smile, "live on for me, tenko. that's my final wish." she gulped thickly, "promise me that you'll live on for me."
"you don't need to go." he said, this time his voice was desperate and pitiful. something no one has ever heard. the leader of the league of villains, so tearful and hopeless, "don't go, don't you dare."
as she slowly closed her eyes, tears stopped falling, her heart stopped thumping.
"(y/n)?" tenko asked, however it wasn't on the phone anymore, it was above her lifeless body. he looked down at her pale face, falling to his knees.
"you're not gone, (y/n). please, don't do this to me." he sobbed, "you can't leave me— i can't forget you."
she didn't respond, she was already gone. he shook his head, laughing bitterly, "you're not gone."
he paused to look at her shut eyes, "no. please, (y/n). just come back, just for a little bit. i'll do anything." he said, "anything."
tears glistened in his eyes, "stop joking around." he inhaled, ignoring the tears dropping down from his cheeks. their memories together flashed before his eyes, the time they both first met, first kissed, when they pranked dabi and even managed to steal one of toga's knives. he wasn't willing to let it all go, but he had no choice. he kept his cries silent, no one would understand his pain like she did. she always knew what to do, how to make him feel better and how to calm him down. it was unreal of how capable she was of helping him, making sure he was always okay. he was never moody when he was around her, his mood always felt better. he had gotten something he had never gotten from anyone.
love
"(y/n) (l/n) i love you."
