Numb To Pain [4]

What We May Be

22
What We May Be

Jason wouldn't let him leave. Not this time. Not when it could be the end of them. He couldn't let this be the end. He wouldn't.

If only he could understand. If only Jason could see how much it hurt. That was it, though. He did understand, he did see it. Not because of anything Wade said.

Because of everything Wade didn't say. Everything he'd been through prepared him for this. He could see it in the way Wade moved. The way he saw the world.

They had all the same scars.

So Jason didn't let Wade leave. He'd be lying if he said it was all for Wade. It wasn't; it was for him. Jason needed to keep him there because Jason needed Wade.

So when Wade tried to leave, Jason crawled out of bed. In spite of the pain radiating all throughout his body. That pain wouldn't compare to the alternative.

"Jason you need to stay in bed. You can't-"

"You're crazy," Jason said, forcing him against the wall. His sweat slicked hair fell in his pale face, darkened his green eyes even more. "You're crazy if you think I'm letting you go."

Eyes that burned Wade's face with his gaze. His gaze was mixed with conflict and contempt. Did he want to save Wade? Did he want to hurt him?

Wade fought against Jason's grip. He was too weak to break the hold. He turned his head to the side to avoid Jason's eyes. Jason made him weak.

"Stop it," He whispered. "Don't make this harder than it has to be." He begged Jason.

"You stop it. Stop doing this shit, Wade. Stop being so fucking..."

"Stop being so fucking what? Broken? I've tried it Jason, and it's not fucking working. I would give anything to not be this way." Wade hissed, biting back tears.

"I'm not asking you to stop being broken. We're all a little fucked up inside. I'm asking you to stop being so fucking stupid." Jason said. His face was red and his tongue venomous.

Wade still wouldn't look at him. His eyes found the moon hanging outside the window. They stuck to the moon like glue. While his eyes found an escape, his ears didn't.

"I mean, shit, Wade, do you even care about yourself? Are you so fucking insane that you can't see that you matter?"

"You have no idea--"

"Bullshit! If anybody on this planet had a clue, it's me. You're a self-destructive, hard-headed, asshole. You're right, you're broken. So fuckin' broken that you hang on every word your mother says about you."

"You didn't even try to prove her wrong, you just went with it. Because she said it, that made it true right? Because she said it, that means you're nothing but rot?" Jason asked.

Tears spilled over. Wade kept staring at the moon. He couldn't answer.

Jason's grip on his arms tightened. He pushed Wade further into the wall. "Answer me," He griped through clenched teeth.

"What do you want me to say? I don't know what to say. Jason please let me go, just let me go." Wade pleaded.

"Answer the fuckin' question, Wade. Or are you gonna let Mommy answer for you again?" Jason's face was just centimeters away. His breath was hot on Wade's cheek.