SONDER (IV): tmr thomas

32: I should slaughter

Ella 32

When they put us on to the platform, and I can feel myself beginning to panic. No, they haven't sedated me, but yes, they have put a new chip in my neck. WICKED keeps that secret between the pages of my file rather out loud, but I'm no idiot.

If they haven't removed the previous chip, then they don't plan on erasing my memories, thankfully. No, when I attempted to cut it out of my head, I must've damaged the cords. If WICKED gave me a tracker, then the chip has lost one of its primary purposes.

When the platform begins to rise, I jolt downwards. My body bumps into another girl, the same familiar-looking one. However, she simply shrugs me away, which must mean that I don't know her even if I feel like I do.

We go up and up and up. I can feel my stomach jolting around in my body. This place is nothing new to me.

I shot myself in the neck and I pushed the button which sent us upwards. Maybe WICKED wanted me to, but that doesn't matter. If there is one thing that I had control over, it was skyrocketing myself to freedom. Maybe the moment is lost now, but it doesn't matter.

The metal creaking grates my ears. Any second now, they should start to bleed. What little part of my brain still has functioning should leak out as well. I keep reaching my fingers up to my ear, but I can't seem to find it beneath the mass of curly hair that sits atop my head.

Which of the voices? It's the first who cuts in. The second voice remembers. The third is harsh and cruel.

"Just speak plainly for once," I shout.

Besides my voice, the room is quiet.

Eli stands before me in shock. Neither of us knows that this is the last time we will speak to each other before he chooses to take his own life. In the seconds of pause, every moment he and I shared runs through my mind.

When we first met and told each other our real names. When WICKED discovered what we knew. When they tortured us and when they finally let us interact with the other subjects. When we laughed over lunch. When he suggested this whole plot, as a joke, and when I ran with it like I run with every crazy idea. When we reconvened to discuss who we had recruited. When we planned out what days we would interfere, and now.

The day before this all began, when he has come to tell me that, as always, he thinks this is a bad idea. I'm out of good plans. Before he speaks, I already know I'm going to reject his criticism. Not just because I know that I'm right, but because I don't care if I'm wrong. They've already taken everything from me. I'm choosing to go down, so I will go down fighting.

"Who are you talking about?" I ask, refusing to let my thoughts betray me.

He sighs. "Leo and Jane."

When my eyes blink open, I can hear the alarm go off above me. Someone holds my hand, squeezing tightly, but I can't squeeze back. The metal roof above us opens up. The light is blinding, but I wouldn't be able to see without it in my way anyway.

It was Leo. Next time I see her, I'm going to fucking kill her.