Paris in the Rain [Jaeyong]

Chapter 11 : Glass Case

11 | 2:56 a.m.

I leaned against my railing, looking out towards city as I took a large gulp of my warm hot chocolate. My bottom was only clad in tight black boxers and I decided to put on my black silk bathrobe, my hair still slightly wet from our shower.

My ass still hurt however I thought that it was all worth it— Jaehyun was everything worth it. Who was I to think that it was only the sex that was worth it?

The cold morning air breezed through my skin, the flimsy clothing unable to fully warm me up.

Arms wrapped around my waist, slightly surprising me as I tilted my head to look at Jaehyun who only nuzzled my neck, kissing his bite mark that was starting to redden.

"Why are you out here, it's cold." He didn't even ask me— or should I simply say, he didn't care as long as I was warm and fine.

I shook my head, not wanting to go back inside as I leaned closer to his body.

"I like it out here. Besides, you aren't even wearing anything, dumbass." I giggled, raising my fingers to flick his forehead to which he winced in pain, pulling his head away from the safe cocoon he was in called my neck.

"I am! Besides, it doesn't matter. I don't want you shivering out here, hm.." His lips were set in a tight line as he tightened his grip around me, pecking my cheek with a gentle kiss.

We both turned silent for a moment as we watched the city from above.

The frequent passage of cars brought a slight zoom and the quiet grumble of the engines to reach our ears as we watched. There were several people walking— from late work or either to go partying.

"If....if I told you that I love you, how would you react?" He whispered against my ear, his voice filled with hesitation and something I could not tell.

A small smile showed it's way on my lips.

"Nothing." I laughed.

He incredulously looked at me, "Nothing? Why not? Aren't you scared if I was lying?"

"Well who am I to question it?" I chuckled, tears springing in my eyes as I stared up at the dark sky.

He stopped for a second seemingly taking in my words before he continued, "To us.. love is not something to be measured. Yet it deeply scares me if I don't love you enough then I can't take your tears away."

Us?

A frown made it's way on my lips before turning my body around to stare at him.

"Love is not something be questioned with as well. If you don't love me enough, what should matter is how I take it. I am not one to force you into loving me for us to be loved equally. It is your heart's choice." I answered, bending my head to rest my forehead against his bare chest, trying to will my tears to stop.

He went quiet and at that short amount of time I had a moment to calm my tears down before I felt his sharp intake of breath.

"Then answer me."

My head perked up to stare at him, anticipating his question.

"Why do I hurt when I'm with you?" He softly asked, his voice shaky as a warm tear fell onto my cheek but it was not mine.

It was his, and as the tear trailed down my cheek, my arms gently pulled him closer, wrapping them around his back.

I took a slow breath in, "Because I'm a broken art."

"I'm a heart within a glass case— treasured and cared of. Yet the hands that molded and held me, broke me. My pieces lay on the floor, unwanted and useless. I bring pain and agony because I am beauty shattered into pieces. My heart does not know it's way but you do. I do not have a choice but let someone pick my broken pieces to make me whole. And even then, there are missing pieces that other people have taken with them and I could not take them back because it's already theirs. I am only wishing that you take care of my fragmented heart when you decide to wisp it away."

This : has been my way of saying I loved him.

However, my life had not been the easiest at all. I accepted and took other people's problems in my own hands to help them in all best ways I can yet when I needed help, they listened but never understood.

It was because my poor heart could not bear seeing others hurt. I only take happiness when others around me are.

However, my ignorance towards my own self-love sent me in a world of unknown. I didn't know what these feelings were. You know, the ones where your heart felt as if it's pi ched whenever I see a couple, or when I see my friends hanging out without me.

It was already done when I realized I couldn't even throw a genuine smile without my heart breaking. I kept it bottled up and the poor heart filled wih grief and loneliness could not know what love ever was.

I was never able to say I loved someone— may it be family or friends, I was unable to say it.

Because I didn't know what it felt like. To love or to be loved? Something truly genuine and pure that might havecured my shattered own if only I knew what it felt like.

However, the broken couple who's love was never solved was the only story I never reached out to.

Every broken story I've helped to mend and yet theirs, I couldn't. Because I learnt a lot of lessons and one of them was what love really is and at least, ever so often, I want to be selfish and be able to think about myself before helping others mend.

But I knew that I'd never even be fully fixed again no matter how much I tried.

What went through my mind was that maybe I wanted to take this small chance to take a breather away from the pain that surrounded me. However, when they both left this world, I could not stop but look for their incomplete story.

I couldn't do it because I was scared and hurt.

The first time I've accepted that I really am hurt and something that couldn't heal.

Jaehyun was the pair of gentle hands that took my broken pieces off the floor and took time to actually look into what I was. The moment I've met him, he had started a faint string to pull me back up.

He was my second hope— the first being everything I've trusted and believed in my life.

My heart would not bear it if the second pair of hands that molded me back and held me back from falling-

-would break me like my first hope did.

"We'll work this out, as long as we are together." He chuckled.

I believed him.

He was my last sliver of hope before everything in me loses it's colors—

Like a wilting rose, it's beautiful fragrance unrecognizable and the lush red petals browning over time.

Our chances of working this out may be slim but I trusted him.

He made me feel needed, loved and cared for. But not with just creative hands that held me carefully, they were hands that seeked to see every part of me. That was enough to place my whole soul in his hands.

I heard my heart beat in my ears— not only with the overwhelming feelings but with something new, hope and trust.

Finally gathering all my courage, a glint of light filling my eyes as I whispered the words my heart has forgotten yet my world remembered.

"I love you too."

[A/N]
Grrrr, sentimental as fuck but I think it's alright(I think). If you haven't noticed, I gave a proper analogy of Taeyong's being to a heart in a glass case. It kind of sets a ground I think as a future reference that I might be using because I like comparing things a lot. (Ex. The first analogy and the second of the rose wilting) I promise— I PROMISE the next chapters are fun, probably estimating maybe 7-9 before shit hits the fams :))
How was chapter 11? #authorslightcringe

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