Between Joy And Pain

Simula

I used to believe that you can only call it love when it stays. Even though it hurts, as long as it stays, it's love. Because that's what my Mom taught me. No matter how hard the situations are, if you love the person you'd always stay. You'd always find a reason to stay.

Kaya nga kahit 24/7 sila kung mag-away ng Daddy ko tungkol sa pambababae nito noon, ay hindi nya pa rin ito magawang iwan. I don't know, but growing up in that kind of environment is like I'm getting use to it. Akala ko normal sa isang pamilya ang may ganu'ng problema.

Pero iba pala ang pakiramdam kapag ikaw na ang nasa sitwasyon. Hindi pala masaya kapag ikaw na mismo ang nakakaramdam ng panloloko at pananakit mula sa taong minahal mo ng higit pa sa sarili mo.

"Ano na naman ba 'to, Jared?" I'm trying to sound calm but my voice started to crack when I saw his face.

He doesn't look like he's guilty for what he did. Nakatitig lamang siya sa mga mata ko na para bang sinusubukan nya na naman akong i-hypnotize katulad ng dati.

"I'm sorry," He's sorry but he doesn't sound like he's really sorry. I don't think he's genuinely sorry.

"You know what? I've had enough!" Matapang kong sabi.

He frown and his brows starts to furrow. Siguro nalito sya sa sinabi ko. "What did you say?" He asked.

"Paulit-ulit na lang, Jared. I'm so tired!" Hindi ko na pinigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. "You know how much I love you, but I don't think my love for you this time is enough."

I hate crying.  I do not really want to breakdown and show my weakness in front of people. Pero kasi, hindi ko na talaga kaya.

"So what now? Iiwan mo na ako? After everything ngayon ka pa susuko? This isn't the first time you've caught me cheating, Lia. Pero kung makadrama ka bakit parang di ka pa sanay?" He said arrogantly.

My palm flew on his cheek in an instant. Before I could control my poise, I just found myself beating, slapping, and punching his face so hard. I don't remember when was the last time I got pissed and hurt like this.

Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit parang naging  kasalanan ko? Parang sinasabi nyang ako ang dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit niya akong niloloko. Is it really my fault?