All Alone

3

SHOUTOUT TO  Alejaguerrer 

Dinner time was a special time for me, it was the only time mom was not answering phone calls, writing in her notepad, talking to herself or doing whatever single busy moms do. Dinner was wonderful cause we talked and played and every word she uttered meant a lot to me cause i knew we won't be talk so close till the next dinner.

We did not eat together during Breakfast cause she woke up earlier than i and was busy doing chores and all that while my breakfast was on the table waiting for me and when i finally came i ate it quietly and carefully so i won't spill it and give her more work and also Lunch cause she had already eaten or skipped it. 

As usual though everything changed not for the better but for the worst.

She brought a guy.....a man.

Questions ran through my head 

Why did she bring a guy? 

Why didn't she tell me ?

Who is this guy?

I sat quietly on the table as I stared at my food and guess what?vMom did not noticed how tensed I was as if it was completely normal she started talking to the guy. She did not ask me how school was or if I had any complaints she did not tell me how her day went she just paid all her attention on the man. 

"Pardon my manners, I have not yet introduced you to my daughter" She gasped as she left a light shy chuckle

Why is she shy?

" Michael meet Jane , Jane meet Michael" She added as she smiled. 

I did not move a muscle I kept my position and continued staring at my plate and then i could feel the tension rise in the room and four eyes looking at me intensely.

"Sorry she is err a bit shy" Mom stammered. Okay so now I'm the shy one?

"Jane"

"Yes" I replied not looking at her face 

"Meet Michael,My future husband" And finally i raised my head up .

I felt shattered, broken every word she said was like a bullet shot right at my chest.

I screamed louder than the sirens of any car , louder than the neighbor's kid next door but I screamed within me I did not want to embarrass mom that would be very selfish of me I had never seen her this happy since dad left and I wanted to keep it that way is't that what I always wanted from scratch? Isn't that the reason I started doing chores, stopped bothering her in a way this was actually what I wanted all along but not in this way. I did not want another dad I wanted my dad and my dad was gone but I know he misses me and someday he will come back for me cause he loves me and he said it in the text. I was hurt but I was very talented in sealing my emotions so i did that and i smiled back at mom and looked at the Michael guy. He was not really ugly he was quite handsome but he looked ugly to me because there was a sudden hatred for the guy. 

"So can you introduce yourself to your soon-to-be father" She teased

 I had this urge to shout He is not my father and he never would be but I got a hold of myself.

"HelloMichelmynameisJaneandigotoCrimstonehigh"I muffled all the words making it very hard for even myself to hear

"I cannot hear you" Michael said sweetly but to me it was all a facade it was an act his voice was not that nice or sweet and I did not know why he had to fake it when I had already heard him talk before.

'you do not need to" I said within me though I felt a pang of guilt this was always what i wanted and then the one million dollar question hit me 

Would this make mom happy?

Obviously Yes so to keep myself from blowing up and getting into a quarrel or anything bad i decided to keep quiet till dinner ended and if any question was referred to me i would simply nod, shrug or shake my head.

That was a long night though and then from that first dinner led to another couple of more dinners, days and weekends together and that meant a lot of me crying on my bed with dad's picture in my hands begging him to come back.
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