Poems

Trust

A relationship is built upon trust right? So what we had, was it even a relationship? You never believed me. You never let me get a word in. My trust for you goes beyond the horizon, I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth if you just say the word. But no. You decided to believe what you overheard, and you left me. You decided to listen to nasty rumors, fibs and untruths then to listen to me. What does that say? Was I not good enough? Did I not deserve your trust? Tell me please, I want to be able to rebuild our relationship stronger than it ever was. Laying the base with trust and confidence, but only if you want to. Only if you want to come back to me. Because personally...

I'm done fighting for someone who won't give me the time of day. I'm tired of it. I trusted my heart into making the better decision, but no. It decided to go towards you and where did that leave me? With a broken heart, broken mind, and broken soul. Now I walk these halls alone and broken, trying to figure out what pieces go where so I can rebuild myself. It's been a slow process, a little piece of me breaks again when I see how much you hate me, how much happier you look without me. Now I'm used to it, now I don't break. Because now, my heart is reinforced with iron. The downfall?

I no longer trust. I fear that if I trust and let my walls slowly crumble, I'll be broken again. I don't want to be broken again. I no longer trust. No matter how much I want to let the walls crumble so I could trust someone, my heart won't let me. I have no control over what it wants to follow. So far, I just got it to get over you. It wasn't easy.

It took a lot of persuading and lonely nights to convince it that you no longer wanted me. That I wasn't good enough to have you in my arms. But I've become stronger thanks to that, I don't need you. I still want you, but I can be alone too. I no longer depend on you. I can be happy and smile without your smile or presense. I can have amazing memories and moments without you by my side. I've learned to be independent, because I don't want to break again. I learned to gain confidence and trust in myself.

So now I am now a confident, independent person who can be happy without the need of someone to make them whole. I am whole, I don't need any pieces because I am one with who I once was. I noticed my flaws and decided to work on them. I no longer have walls that fall for stupid tricks and foolery. I control the wall, only letting people that deserve my trust, earn it with their proof. There are no cracks in my walls so no one, nothing can slip in or out.

Throughout my evolution, I have become the person I thought I never had the chance to be. So in a way, thank you for breaking me so I can become something better. I probably wouldn't have been able to achieve this if you hadn't broken me. It was a painful process but it seems to be worth it because I now have trust in myself. 

Note: I was reading this book and I noticed so many "flaws" in the way they built their relationship. How it lacked a stable "base" and had no "trust" reinforcing the walls. So I had the urge to write about it. It's kinda bad because I poured a lot of feels into this so it may or may not make sense. It's a really weird one I will admit that but I'm proud of it in a sense. Have you ever been heartbroken? How did you get over it? 

Anyways, thank you for reading <3