Poems

Kill Me, Please

Warning: Don't worry it's nothing too bad, but it does mention suicide. Please don't read if you are currently not okay... that made fucking sense. God I suck at this.

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I fell again. I don't think I can get up anymore, but you make it worse by kicking me, mocking me. I fucking get it okay. I'm pathetic, I'm unwanted, I know so you don't have to constantly remind me. Just leave me alone, please.

Dear Diary,

Today was amazing! I was partnered up with my crush for a project in one of my classes. I even got his number! I'll try talking to them tomorrow to "work on the project". Hopefully they say yes.

God I was stupid. How naive can I be? Am I so desperate to have someone that I cling to the first person that gives me just a little bit of attention?

Dear Diary,

My crush said that they couldn't work on the project because they were busy all week. Something about sports and family, so I'm gonna do it all by myself just for them. Hopefully I can do it right.

Doormat. I'm a fucking doormat.

Dear Diary,

My friend said that my crush has been spreading nasty rumors about me. I got mad at my friend and we had a bad argument. They didn't want to be my friend anymore, it doesn't matter though. I still have my crush, they wouldn't say anything bad at me.

That's when I started hating myself. I had no friends so I couldn't talk to anyone at school. I thought I wasn't enough for my crush to notice me. To love me. I wanted to be better but I couldn't be, I hated myself for that.

Dear Diary,

I no longer have a crush on them. They did spread rumors about me. Diary, what do I do? I have no friends anymore. I don't want to live anymore.

That's where all of this started. Fucking great, my life is flashing before my eyes.

Dear Diary,

I tried apologizing to my old friend. They called me very bad names and said that I was pathetic for believing someone else instead of my best friend. They're right, I am pathetic.

That's enough! I fucking get it! I was stupid. I changed, I'm a better person now. What the hell do you want with me?

Why are you here if you're better?

Fuck. Why am I here?

You tried killing yourself. Look.

Dear Diary,

I'm done. Everyone at the school hates me now. I don't want to live anymore. I can't live anymore. It hurts so much. I hate this feeling. I just want to die, please.

Stop! Just... stop. Let me die.

Why? People on Earth are waiting for you to wake up. Waiting to apologize-

They should have fucking apologized when i was alive! They had their chance, I tried apologizing but they threw me out like a rag doll!

Give them a chance, maybe you'll see things differently.

No.

Yes.

Kill me, please.

Note: So I am currently not in a good state of mind. I'm having a lot of fucking mental problems and I need to fucking fix them ASAP. So I might not update as frequent as you can tell by my other books. I'm sorry, I just need some time to fucking get my stupid shit together. I'll be back and better in just a few days. I'm sorry, I hope you liked it though <3