SONDER (IV): tmr thomas

34: I should comprehend

Dawn 34

Everything is bright. Minho's eyes are the brightest colour I've ever seen. They hurt to look at. He keeps trying to grab my hands, but I won't let him. I hold them back. He won't be able to get to me.

So, I shove something back where it belongs. Minho grabs me and he shakes me. I try to push him away. His tears and eyes aren't the same colour, and I don't like that. He doesn't like to answer or listen to me. I begin to claw at his stomach to shove him away. He takes a step back and lets go of me.

Minho begins to yell at some people behind him. The guards bring their arms up to their faces to cover themselves. Leo grabs me and holds me as I wail in her arms. Everything is happening both all at once and not at all. There is no sound, except every sound at once. People are talking about me everywhere. I can hear them. Leo is shushing me, but they need to know that I don't appreciate being talked about. They need to understand. They don't at least not that I think I do.

Minho comes back to me, grabbing one of my arms. I don't like this. I try to push him off of me, but I can hear him coddling me. He's trying, but I don't want him to try. He begins to hum the song we danced to the other day in the kitchen, and I find myself going still.

Here, I can smell the spaghetti. I can hear Leo crying in another room, and I begin humming to drown it out. The song takes over me and becomes alive. Do I make up the stereo that it plays on? Perhaps, but that's so that I don't have to think about the pain I am going to bring Minho soon. I'm already bringing it now, and I can't stop myself.

"I'll walk, but I am going to keep thrashing because I can't help myself!" I shout.

Minho doesn't let his eyes leave me. He nods still holding an arm of mine. We all leave this place, with new guards. I think new. Maybe they were both women the whole time and I am just getting them confused. They drop us in a room, where we lie on the ground.

There, I take as much time as I could ever possibly have. We sit down, Minho letting me rest my head in his lap. Tears stream out of my face. I wonder how, since I think it's been days since the last drop of water passed through my lips.

Across from us, I can see Leo crying. Thomas has his hands on her shoulder, and then pulls her into a hug. She leans into him, using him to hold her up. Minho's body is getting tenser, but I'm happy that he doesn't move.

After an eternity of purgatory, two people enter the room. Only Leo and Thomas move up to them. I close my eyes so that I don't have to look at the newcomers. Whatever I don't see doesn't exist, after all.

There have been few hallucinations. Maybe this is one, and that is distressing. What's more upsetting is how emotionally volatile I've become. This is worse than the pregnancy. It gnaws inside my brain, making me more and more agitated with every passing second.

Still, I can hear them. Their voices are low whispers, ones which I can't ignore.

Michelle: Let me go.

Leo: Sorry, I just-

Michelle: It's not a big deal.

Leo: It's just... it's been a stressful day. I'm just-

Michelle: Leo

Leo: Sorry.

Thomas: What's going on?

Gally: We're going to get a caravan to bring us to Vince.

Thomas: Vince, who's-

Gally: The boss. It's going to be tight getting there. Denver is a goner to the Cranks. They're farthest past the gone than the Scorch, but healthier because they've got people to eat here. They're dangerous.