Deep: A Collection of Erotica

why

Why do these women keep playing with me
when they know how weak I am
How weak I've proven to be
Even at my strongest I am weak
I question my manhood
For surely man was not made to cry like I have
Why must I be a minstrel clown
A show
A performance
A tool
A vessel of flesh and desire
To be used up
To be of deliverance
Willing to go to any length to please
Even beyond barriers
For I have known love
And long wished to create
Trial after trial , tribulation after tribulation
Accusation after accusation
When will I ever be heard?
The only one who hears me belongs to another
And those I've tried to get to hear me
Hear what they want
Life's cruel slap
And here I am
Longing inside, full of want
Lusting
Going mad
Acting accordingly
Bcuz I am the beast I'm so fond of blaming
And right now my favorite people have to avoid me
When sadness sits up and takes it's attendance in my life
I often turn to what heals me
A selfish pleasure called over indulgence
So I sin
So I won't have to feel
Bcuz feeling is like stepping in shit sometimes
Sometimes it's that hard pain in the heart
But sometimes its beautiful
And comes from the most unexpected places
and people
People I love to fuck
People I love to give myself to
People I love to taste, to be inside of their delicious walls
I wish I could explain how it feels to be me
Or that some prized scientists can find out what's wrong with me
Why I am the way I am
Why I run on such frequencies
Why can't I be normal
Why can't I make things right
Why must I be like this
Why do I live and breathe sex
Why do I get the way I do
Why do I do the things I do
Why do I love so hard
Why don't I ever give up on what's spoken for
Why do I feel so deeply
Why do I care
What's wrong with me😔
Why must my seed be denied😭
Why must they leave me