A no-nonsense, fairly silly, guide to cooking during the apocalypse.
This guide will teach you how to cook, how to make your own recipes, basic fundamentals of cuisine, why brown is the tastiest color, how to prevent your pee from attracting maraud...
Let's say that, for some wicked reason of the universe, you don't have any pasta trees around. Maybe they have been seized by the local Ketchup faction to defile with their vile devil juice, or they were wiped out during the first wave of nuclear bombing, or even torn down by spiteful vegans.
And let's say even further that you didn't have the foresight to store some dried pasta in your bunker, in which case, I don't even know how you're alive with such poor planning skills.
In any case, what is an apocalyptic chef to do? The answer is not going around with a Bowie knife and jumping people by the highway and demanding they pay tribute to the Highway Overlord — you — with pasta. The answer, of course, is making pasta on your own!
Making pasta is like shooting at the floor — can't miss it! It doesn't require much measurement, it can be made with only water and flour, and its tastier than any store-bought pasta.
Pasta is an excellent source of carbohydrates and proteins, which makes your body run. It is also a white canvas for taste and flavor which you can customize as you want. You can ever add vegetable flavors into the pasta to make them colorful and tasty! You can also add things like herbs and even squid ink to give it an extra punch.
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Note: do not choose incredibly bright colors, as they might alert your enemies of your presence. If your pasta is glowing in the dark, you have used radioactive ingredients. Use with caution.
