A no-nonsense, fairly silly, guide to cooking during the apocalypse.
This guide will teach you how to cook, how to make your own recipes, basic fundamentals of cuisine, why brown is the tastiest color, how to prevent your pee from attracting maraud...
Eggs, just like us, are mostly made out of water, but if you try to suck on one raw, just like you would a human, you will be labeled a creep and/or a vampire. Which might work out for you in the ends as vampires and creeps are notorious for being left alone, which might save you from a surprise midnight raid from the local electro-punk gang.
But while consuming raw eggs might bring confusion and disgust to your enemies, it will most likely give you salmonella. Salmonella is not friend-shaped.
Cooking eggs is a delicate matter, as their water composition makes them very volatile. Water, as many of you might know, boils at 100°C/212°F. Anything above that temperature dries the egg and burns what little proteins it has, creating abominations such as these:
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They have the texture of a sole, and taste just about as good. Perfect if you need improvised shoes to walk through the mountains while hunting radioactive elks, but not good enough to belong in your belly.
Thing is, you need to heat an egg at least until 63°C/146°F to escape the danger zone, which gives us little wiggle room between a burnt frisbee and a delicious, runny egg. As such, frying an egg properly is one of the most difficult things to cook, even for professionals.
Boiling an egg is a more manageable affair, as you can't boil water above it's the boiling point, giving you a nice, steady temperature. It's all about managing time. However, it is important to know that any egg you boil should be first placed in water before boiling, to get an even cooking.
5 to 6 minutes in boiling water will give you a soft-boiled egg, while 7 to 9 will give you a hard-boiled egg. Anything more than that will be a tasteless rock.
Baking an egg, however, is a more manageable affair, as we want to remove moisture out without burning the egg, and since we can control an oven's temperature, it will be easier. Unless you're using a firepit as an oven, in which case, nice work, genius. You just announce your position to everyone within a mile's radius. I would run if I were you. Dillhole.
Since we already studied the methods of heat conduction, and the properties of the eggs, it's time to put both to the test!
