Never shall we sink, too.

XXX

I tossed and turned that night. I lie down to my bed, to my sofa, the floor next to the sofa. But nothing. Shit I have an early day tomorrow and now I can't sleep.

Jia has been calling me madly since I left her and I never had the courage to answer. Remembering her lips is making my heart beat so loudly, it beats the drum solo on "We will Rock you" song.

After hours of trying to calm down, I was able to get a nap.

Not a sleep.

A nap. It was like an hour.

It was already 4:30am and I need to catch the BOD on New York. The events last night will never leave my head so I just thought I will call my Kuya to start the conference call.

We finished at 9am and I decided to go to Jia's to talk this through. 

She opened the door and the first thing that I noticed was she didn't get enough sleep too.

"What was that?" I didn't want to sound angry but my voice was raised.

"Bei..."

"What was that Jia?!!" Now I really can't control it. Anger evident on my face and my voice. "Is that your third gift to yourself? From me?! You want to kiss me?! Cause you know "Bea wouldn't mind cause she likes me". Is that it?!"

"No Bea."

"Or is it like, "Hey I want to try and kiss a girl. Oh there is Bea, she likes me so she wouldn't mind"?"

"It wasn't like that!!"

"Then what was it like?!"

She was looking for words.

"Fuck, Jia." I was walking back and forth. "You know that I have crush on you and you did that!! You don't know how many times I imagined on kissing you in my head and you did it just like that. And.. And.." I wasn't looking at her, but I kept speaking. "It's like you playing with my feelings. You're fucking with my feelings!!"

She was silently sobbing on the side. "I-I'm.. s-sorry." She sniffled. "B-Bea."

Oh God. Look at what you have done Bea.

"I'm sorry J-Jia. I didn't mean to shout."

I pulled her and hugged her.

"So-sorry Bea. It's not what you think."

"Then what is it Jia? Tell me." I asked her, almost begging to just say it so it will end.

"I-I.. I can't. Not now."

I looked at her and she was still crying, I don't know what to do. I can't force her to tell me cause she will end up crying much more.

'But Jia..."

"Can you let it go for now Bea? I'm sorry I did it, but I really don't want talk about it now."

I ran my hands onto my hair and to my face. Shit I really can't do anything. She kissed me and she don't want to talk about it. Like whadafak.

"I'm so sorry Bea."

"Wag mo akong iwasan ulet Bea."

"Bei, please say something."

I cupped her face and kissed her...

On her forehead, at first.

But then her lips were like a magnet, so I leaned again and kissed her...

On the corner of her lips. I chickened out on the last second, I can't afford to kiss her in the lips considering her state. It was mere seconds but it still send electricity throughout my body.