Never shall we sink, too.

XXVII

I put my keys on her side table and she proceeded to her kitchen to get refreshments.

"Beer?" She asked.

"Sure." I needed the courage. I'm going to tell her. I noticed that she bought just one bottle of beer and another is a glass of orange juice.

"I've had enough kanina sa bar." I nodded and opened the bottle.

There was utter silence during the ride and now. All you can hear is the hum of the Air Conditioner and the horn of the cars outside. It's been one month, since I avoided her and now I have a million of words that I want to say to her but I don't know how to start.

"So you owned the bar?"

"Co-owned. Me and my Kuya."

"Buti den pala at meron kang bar, para hindi na nahirapan maghanap si ate Ella."

"Oh, no. Actually I was surprised that they know the bar. Sabi ni ate Ly, madalas daw sila dun lalo pag may occasions. Kilala na daw sila ng security and staffs dun." I looked at her. "How'd you know?"

"I saw the security nung pinalabas nila yung..."

"Yung mga new friends mo?" She elbowed me, and I chuckled. "How'd you ended up in that game?"

"They approached me when I was at the bar, their company was fun and I was drinking one too many."

I remembered one of her stories. Miguel incident.

"Buti you are not afraid of drinking to limits, knowing that..."

"Miguel got someone pregnant cause he was drunk." She finished my sentence. "Just like you said I know my red-lights."

"Sabagay..."

"You have been avoiding me." She cut me and faced me after saying that.

"W-What?! N-no ah? S-sinong nagsabi s-sayo nyan?" Shit I really stutter when telling lies.

"I'm not stupid Bea. Beautiful oo, pero stupid, no."

"Yes."

"Yes, iniiwasan mo ako? O yes beautiful ako?"

I sighed. I gulped a mouthful of beer before speaking again. "Yes on both."

"Is this about me and Miguel talking again?"

"Well.."

"Dun lang about sa post. After that wala na. He asked kung nasaan tayo that time. I said pauwi sa bahay. He asked kung kamusta na ako, and said that he was happy that I am living my life. No harm Bea."

"Di mo naman kelangan mag explain ano ka ba." I nudged her shoulder. Well at least alam mo na Bea.

She looked at me and asked. "So baket mo nga ako iniiwasan? May nagawa ba akong kasalanan? May mali ba? Naliligo naman ako everyday eh." She must've noticed that I was fidgeting and nervous, so she lightened up the mood with that joke.

I chuckled and closed my eyes, praying that sana, maging okay.

I sighed and reached for her hand. I was hesitant at first. But I thought, this might be the last time that I can hold this. So I did. 

"No. Uhm. I developed a..." I looked at her, she was waiting for me to continue. "I developed a crush on you."

Her eyes widened. "Oh." I waited for her to hastily remove my hands from hers. 

"And it's not just some silly high school shit. Maybe crush isn't the right word and in love is too much. I am in the middle, and I don't know what to do. If I move back, I still like you. If I move forward, I'm going to be on a deep shit. I'm sorry, Jia. I know you're still moving on from him and... and, I don't want to mess this friendship up. So I avoided you, cause I thought some time and space would get rid of it."

"But no?"

"No, I always think of you, kasi I don't get updates from you." I looked at her she was looking at me with something. "I mean, it's not like kelangan mo namang mag update. I was just used to know when you are done on practice, when you go to practice, and when you got home. Nasanay lang."

She looked away as if she was thinking things. "So do you want me to stay away? To... you know, get rid of the feelings. Sabi mo."

"I really don't want to. Wala naman kasing mag best friend na nagiiwasan diba?" At first, I thought she didn't heard my last line cause she was staring blankly away from me but she nodded and hugged me tightly afterwards.

"You're right." She smiled at me. "Walang nagiiwasan na magbest friend."

I smiled back at her. "I'm just going to think of other ways to get rid of this feelings."

"Yeah." She sighed. "Feelings are stupid." She drank the half glass full of orange in one go.

We got off on a good note. I went home that night, plopped on my bed with head full of thoughts.

'Yeah. Feelings are stupid.'

We didn't talked for another week, cause of consecutive meetings. We talked and went back to normal after that.

J I A

1 month ago.

"Ate Den, I might need that help, but not now." She nodded and smiled. I drove back to my condo and formulated that genius idea of avoiding her.

After two days, I approached at Den to talk. "Saan mo ba gustong magusap? Dito? Or do you prefer over lunch?"

"Yes ate, definitely not here." I looked at Ced.

"Is it that horrible?"

"I think ate. I don't know."

"Okay just, try not to think about it muna. We have a game." I nodded and proceeded to practice.

We finished practice and we, Ate Den and me, agreed on a restaurant near Makati. I was preparing my duffel bag when I heard Ced shouted. This girl really has a talent of being a volleyball player. She's been training with us and she was Kathy Bersola caliber.

"Coach!" At first I didn't looked cause, there are more than five coaches here. So I thought it was not me. "Coach Jia!"

"Hm. Ced."

"Papunta kasi ako kila Bea..." I was shocked that she said that. Hearing her name after what happened at home is making me nervous is different ways. "...after this, may conference call daw kami mamayang gabi, pwede ba akong makisabay. Diba dun ka usually nag la-lunch?"

"Uhm..." She was holding her phone. I bet Bea was on the line.

"I asked Ate Den, wala naman daw kayong lakad now." Huh? I lowkey looked at her cause she was standing behind Ced and she just gave me a peace sign.

"Eh..."

"I don't have car, you know."

"M-May lakad kasi ako eh." Shit, I stammered. Sana hindi narinig ni Bea.

"Ahh. Dun den ba way mo?"

"H-Hindi, pa North ako."

"Ahh. I see. Papasundo na lang ako sakanya dito." What? Wait. She is only 10 minutes away from here. I looked at Ate Den again, she was carrying her duffel bag na. So, she's ready to leave.

"A-Ahh.. Sige. Una na ako. Bye Ced." I didn't wait her to respond but she did.

"Bye Coach Ji."

I heard her mumble thru the ear piece of the phone. Yep, she's definitely talking to Bea.