Never shall we sink, too.

XV

'From Sasha: "Miguel, We need to talk again, you can't be serious on ignoring me"'

"Mig, who's Sasha?" I asked Miguel who is now on play station concentrating on NBA game.

"What?!" He immediately put down the controller to snatch the phone from me. "Uhm, t-that's... Joseph, w-we have this i-inside joke that we use girls name on each other's uh... uhrm... phone. D-Don't..."

"Why are you ignoring him?"

"I... uh..."

"Why are you stammering Miguel. May tinatago ka ba saakin?" I asked nicely and calmly.

"Wala, ano ba Jia?! Paranoid ka na den?!" He said in a shouting manner.

"Why are you shouting? Calm down, I'm just asking you." I calmly said, trying my best not to loose it.

"I'm not shouting. Shit."

"Why are cussing? Anong meron Miguel? Sino si Sasha?"

"Babe. I'm so sorry, I was drunk..." A sting in my right palm was the next thing I felt, after a hurt in my heart.

"Get out." He was holding his left cheek.

"Babe, let's talk..."

"No, GET OUT!!"

"Jia..."

"GODDAMMIT MIGUEL, GET THE HELL OUT!"

He got his phone, keys and wallet, then walked out.

~

"I cried, cried, and cried. I didn't attend practice, saying I have diarrhea, fever, and whatnot. I can't get up my bed, I can't sleep, can't eat, can't walk. They wanted to visit me, to check on me, but I declined saying they might get my virus. That was until Ate Den got enough of it and surprise visited me on my condo."

~

I heard a knock on my door, I assumed it was Miguel. "Go away."

"Do you talk to your senior like that?" I recognize the voice so I opened the door immediately.

"A-Ate..." I was still shocked that she was here.

"Wala ka na bang lagnat?" She welcomed herself towards my condo and touched my forehead.

"Ate..."

'Shit I'm going to crack'

I don't really want to get it out for now but, seeing my ate Den here. I just can't hold it.

"So you just decided to ditch practice?"

"A-Ate..." I started sobbing, then it turned into uncontrollable cry. So, Ate Den involuntarily hugged me. "Ang sakit sakit na ate."

"Ji, what happened?"

So I told her what happened, detailed.

"Why..."

"Di ko alam sakanya ate." I said, thinking her sentence was finished.

".... did you allow him?"

"What?" I was taken aback when she finished her question.

"Baket mo sya pinayagan knowing that the captain will invite girls and drinks?"

"What... Are you telling ate na kasalanan ko?"

"Well. Not totally, pero you share your blame on this."

"What... I can't believe you." I stood up. "Feel free to show yourself out." I stormed off to my room and lock myself up.

"Jia..."

~

"Next thing I heard was a door shut. She left, not even saying sorry to me." I was just looking at her plate stabbing light taps on her chicken. "Okay... so, go ahead. I'm ready to hear you blame me."

She munch the chicken and the rice on her mouth before speaking. "What I see here is that you let him go to the party cause, you have this trust that you build after all these years. It's not your fault Ji. You just, you know, loved." She sighed before continuing.

"In love, you trust. You cannot love someone you doesn't trust but you can trust someone that you love." She said while forking another chicken and her third cup of rice.

I left staring at her.

For the first time, since the incident, someone was actually not blaming me on what happened. And that was Bea. Of all the people, she was the least person that I imagine to be understanding my side of the story.

"Miguel shouldn't have done that. I mean, yea I might not be the best person when I got drunk but at least I know red lights, yung mga hindi na katanggap tanggap. He sounded really apologetic, right?"

"Yea, I think so."

"So he was not drugged or black mailed into that situation." She looked up at the ceiling trying to formulate things. "I bet this Sasha girl was there since the beginning of the party, then maybe Miguel had consent on what happened."

"Paano mo naman nasabi?"

"I mean the girl was drunk too, and now she was being ignored by Miguel. He don't know what to do, so the first thing that pops on his head is to ignore her, cause she already said that she was delayed or pregnant. That's definitely a drunken sex that..."

"Alright. Okay na. I get what you're saying."

"I'm also saying that Miguel is so stupid to cheat on a girl like you. I mean you're the whole package. Mabait, matalino, matangkad, magaling sa volleyball..."

"Maganda?"

"Basta Ji mabait ka."

I playfully tapped her shoulders and she was shielding her arms so that I can't reach her face. "Sira ulo." We were silenced and the only thing that you can hear is the clink of utensils to the plate. I looked at her and she was enjoying my Adobo, even closing her eyes trying to grasp all the flavors on the viand. "Thanks Bei."

"For what?"

"For at least listening to me. To my stupid rants."

"Those aren't stupid. He is stupid."

"Still thanks."

"No problem Ji. Wag ka na ulet mahihiya saakin ha? Para ka kasing tanga eh, parang bago naman ako sayo. Hello! We were teammates for crying out loud."

"Speaking of which, why did you come to our practice?"

"I uh..." I chuckled on shyness. "Uhm, since we are being honest naman na dito. I actually came to ask you why the hell are you calling me and then ending the call for God knows how many times."

"Now you know the reason, you can go home."

"Wha..."

"I'm kidding. Kain ka pa."

"Julia. Melissa. Morado. I didn't know you still have it in you. You're still a comedian. I like that. Let's bring back that Jia."

"I can't promise that."

"Nah. Take your time. And don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be by your side."

That made me smile. "Thanks Bea."

"Always a pleasure, Jia." Then she forked another chicken and got her fourth cup of rice.

"Monster." I said in disbelief.